Driven to the brink by BPD chick!

[Onion]

Oh well, found myself on the brink of suicide after one hell of a roller-coaster ride with HB9 BPD chick that I thought would be my ideal soul mate. My story in short. From the other side of the Atlantic i started chatting with this girl and found myself mesmerized by how close she was to me in an instant. She likes mostly what i like, her values are on-par with what's mine, same age, same sort of background, found each other in a relationship that was going stale (at least that was what i believed), ambitious bla bla, from the onset she sounded and looked like the woman i've been looking for my entire life.

Traveled back and forth completely in love with this girl. Left my high paying job in Europe and applied for another closer to where she lives in order to take the relationship further. This was while i was with my then GF who's also the mother of my son. Left my then GF. After a few months of honeymoon things started going south. I started discovering few male 'friends' in the picture and some ex's, her availability started going down, there's an old dude who's paying her rent and visiting her at least once a month even though she completely denied it, got hold of her phone once and discovered endless flirts and back and forth arguments with some dudes i never new existed. I confronted her a few times and she completely denied it. At this point of the relationship she was giving me all the BS about the rings and engagement n all which she know i was after.

She went, cold, distant in an instant and left me wondering WTF!! Finally last week, she said she wanted to talk, anticipating the worst at this point I agreed to give her a call. She went on psychotic mode and raving and raging she pointed out everything which i did wrong or things not right with us including myself and she called the relationship off. I was totally devastated. How can someone talk about marriage and kids and breakup with you in just 24 hrs? Looking back what i've lost and what i did to her, i thought about killing myself a couple of times and only saved by a good friend who has recommended me to a councilor.

Searching for answers i found this site and i thank you so much as it's has opened my eyes and is helping me edging closer to some sort of sanity. I am rebuilding my life slowly from the wreckage she's left me with even though i am finding each day hard to exist. I am trying to rebuild my relationship with the mother of my son, kind hearted she is she's giving me a chance to at least talk to her. Folks use this as a warning.

 

[marmel75]

No women should ever be the source of your self worth. If this is the only thing you learn from this, make sure this is it.

 

[Epimanes]

Grass is not always greener on the other side. It may appear greener at first but was likely spray painted. Stay close to your son... He should be your #1 at this point and his moma would be the easiest to relationship to work on. While your at it here check out marriedmansexlife.com and start putting yourself together with all the resources u can find and relate to.

Epi

 

[LondonTowers]

Hang in their Onion. This is all very fresh, so I know you are in a lot of pain. Right now you should just spend time with your close friends/family and heal. You are going to feel like sh1t for a while but as hard as it to believe, you will come out of this healthier and stronger.

Cut her out completely, change your number/email everything so it is impossible for her to contact you. She will try to hoover you in and mess with your mind, you will never move on if you don't do this.

Read a on BPD experiences on here and other sites like gettinbetter.com. These will allow you to see yourself and her in a clearer light. For a while these will also give you motivation to cut her out and better yourself.

Read the DJ handbook and No More, Mr Nice Guy. Without exception, we get involved with BPD girls through our own core wounds. These must be addressed if you are to never let this happen to you again and become a stronger man.

In the end.. never let a women be the source of your happiness again. Stay on this forum, the brothers here will look after you, even if it takes icey cold water at times.

 

[GS750]

One thing I learned about BPD chicks; they are needy, clingy, and insecure. They need constant ego validation and attention. They can't be alone, they actually fear being alone. So they will be cultivating relationships with others guys behind your back. Count on it.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Don't beat yourself up for falling for her trap. BPD'ers can be absolute masters of deception. They can fool anyone. They will be the perfect partner, in every way you could imagine. After you think you have won the lotto and have settled in and are enjoying the life, you find out it was all an illusion.

It is one of the roughest rides I have ever experienced. One doesn't know how shocking and mind boggling it can be unless you have been through it. Check out the BPD websites for support too.

Be grateful you saw behind the mask when you did. Many don't find out till after they have married or even a pregnancy. Many lose huge amounts of financial resources before they learn its all a facade. It may not seem like it to you, but compared to many others, you found out and got out early.

Again, they are masters of deception, like an animal who can instantaneously camouflage itself to it's surroundings. Congratulate yourself for getting out alive, so to speak. Many don't.