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Drinking Alcohol To Be More Social

samspade

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What I'm wondering is, is it possible to keep doing this and eventually learn from it to develop natural confidence?
I wouldn't equate the two. I think it's healthier to develop your inner confidence so that you're constantly in a state of high value and positivity. That way alcohol just be a nice vice to loosen you up - not an on/off switch.
 

flowtheory

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I think most people feel this way with alcohol. It lowers inhibitions and makes you act on whims or natural desire, where our normal self would 'draw a line' based on ego or how we wish to present ourselves; that mask. I don't believe there is anything necessarily wrong with alcohol in small quantities.
Like everything, it depends if you're using it, or it's using you, and that can surely be a fine line. Following a diet or gym routine is a terrific thing at face value, but there is that line, where the person could in fact become a slave to the gym and diet and no longer hold their power over the thing they wished to use to better themselves. So would that be a good or a bad thing now? The obsession. I view them as the same thing, really, as both can damage one's self, but in different ways. both could in-fact end in suicide. And have.

I think alcohol can show a person that it is in fact you making things happen, and the alcohol is simply disabling an inherent doubt we all carry. It can offer insight and reflection on how you see yourself If you wish to take a look at what motivates you or perturbs you in your own life. It's not as though the alcohol concocts us to say or do things we never had thought of; it merely opens and lubricates us to take risks, have hard or flirty conversations. Biologically speaking, our neuropathways tighten up and we become much more outcome-focused and singular in our interactions, which is why we can foster results we otherwise wouldn't in a sober state. There are less competing thoughts in the peripheries of our own minds. Nagging doubts and self-conciousness.

If alcohol is a crutch and you feel you need it to socialize, that's the issue. The need. Like anything else in our lives, a dependency is what creates our own realms of chaos - women, gyms, aesthetic, sex, money, power, etc. The intent to everything is the key to our results and ultimately the reality in which we are attempting to forge and bring to fruition.

If you drink alcohol with the intent of "I want to open up and learn about myself", surely your night will turn our differently than it would if you uttered in your mind "I need this to go talk to a woman because I lack confidence".

Although not cheap, I've found Drambuie to be the best social drink. After two, you start feeling it and you can have several more ...without over doing it. I prefer mine chilled or in the form of a drink called a "Rusty Nail."
My Dad introduced this drink to me. It's great. This is a smooth sipper, which I find classy and refined, without the sharpness of a Scotch, if one is in the mood for a 'sweeter' drink. Although I do love a quality Scotch. My favorite drink by far is an Old Fashioned.
 

RangerMIke

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I quit drinking altogether this year sort of a side effect of the pandemic, not that I was drinking a lot before. I don't think I'm ever going back. I feel so much better, sleeping better, more energy, everything better, you don't really notice it until you just cut alcohol out completely. I can work out longer, and have fewer joint problems. The older you get the more negative effects and less positive. You never really feel good, you just get sloppy, then you can't sleep and feel like garbage the next few hours.
 

sangheilios

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I haven't read through all of the posts on here but here is some anecdotal points from my side.

There is a guy that I know, I wouldn't call him a close friend but I do hang out with him on occasion, who is in his late 30s and he gets high on the regular and drinks/gets drunk before going out to any environment where women might be at. He is a good person but it took me sometime to figure out why he does this.

He mentioned to me that in high school he was socially awkward, your typical "loser" kid, and had no success with the opposite sex, which is very common. I obviously wasn't there along the entire way, but based upon what I was able to piece together it became apparent to me that when he got into his 20s he began developing a habit of weed and alcohol whenever he was going to be in a social environment. These are not things that people just wake up and decide to do, it's just a behavioral pattern that develops over the years and it eventually becomes a norm that will prove very difficult to break.

The issue is that you may be creating an environment where you'd need to rely upon something externally, in this case alcohol, in order to perform in a given situation, in this case socially and in particular with women. What are you going to do whenever you don't have access to alcohol or are in a situation where even using it would be inappropriate? You don't want to end up like the man I mentioned previously, as in some manner you could arguably be considered an alcoholic, drug addict, etc. I'm not going to even get into potential negative physical health consequences of this, this is all purely from issues pertaining to emotional and mental well being.
 

crosscheck1331

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Everyone does this. There's a place for it I suppose just don't turn into that 'one guy'....the guy that overdoes it and ends up having too much fun (and everyone laughs behind his back)
 

RangerMIke

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I haven't read through all of the posts on here but here is some anecdotal points from my side.

There is a guy that I know, I wouldn't call him a close friend but I do hang out with him on occasion, who is in his late 30s and he gets high on the regular and drinks/gets drunk before going out to any environment where women might be at. He is a good person but it took me sometime to figure out why he does this.

He mentioned to me that in high school he was socially awkward, your typical "loser" kid, and had no success with the opposite sex, which is very common. I obviously wasn't there along the entire way, but based upon what I was able to piece together it became apparent to me that when he got into his 20s he began developing a habit of weed and alcohol whenever he was going to be in a social environment. These are not things that people just wake up and decide to do, it's just a behavioral pattern that develops over the years and it eventually becomes a norm that will prove very difficult to break.

The issue is that you may be creating an environment where you'd need to rely upon something externally, in this case alcohol, in order to perform in a given situation, in this case socially and in particular with women. What are you going to do whenever you don't have access to alcohol or are in a situation where even using it would be inappropriate? You don't want to end up like the man I mentioned previously, as in some manner you could arguably be considered an alcoholic, drug addict, etc. I'm not going to even get into potential negative physical health consequences of this, this is all purely from issues pertaining to emotional and mental well being.
I had a friend like this. She wouldn't go anywhere where she couldn't get a drink. She wasn't an alcoholic by any means, she didn't drink a whole lot, and she was perfectly healthy. But she had it in her mind that she had to have a beer sitting in front of her to have a good time. We would go out, and she'd order a beer, and she would nurse that thing for a couple of hours and not even finish it. Many times we would go to places and she wouldn't order a beer, but godd@mnit that place better have it on the menu. But anytime I suggested we do something she always asked if we could get beer there. The best thing that ever happened as far as she was concerned is when movie theaters opened where beer was served. She hadn't been to a movie in years because of this.

I swear, she would buy a 6-pack of beer and those beers would sit in her fridge for MONTHS. But if she opened the refrigerator and noticed there was no beer in it, she would immediately stop whatever the fvck she was doing and go buy a six pack. It was the damnedest thing. It was definitely some kind of emotional crutch but since I'm not a shrink, I have no idea why she was like this. All she ever said about it was that it was something she started doing in college.
 
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