Drama in a relationship: worth it?

[abcd_z]

I've been getting some grief from others about how I handle relationships, so I thought I'd get some outside opinions.

Where do you draw the line between staying with a partner and breaking up with him/her? If he/she attempted to stab you with a knife? If he/she drained your bank account and blew it on frivolous purposes? If you caught him/her cheating on you? Where do you draw the line?

People say that all relationships have drama, and yet I'm in a 2+ year relationship that has no drama whatsoever, and other people using this system report the same thing.

If you could be in a relationship that had absolutely zero drama, would you want to be?

If doing so required you to be selfish and callous at times, would that tradeoff be worth it, or would you prefer to be in a relationship where you're a nice person, but there is drama.

Bear in mind that I don't think there are any right or wrong answers to these questions, I'd just like to know where you guys stand.

 

[AW1983]

Where do you draw the line between staying with a partner and breaking up with him/her? If he/she attempted to stab you with a knife? If he/she drained your bank account and blew it on frivolous purposes?

Well any of those would be a no-brainer for me. I wouldn't even have to think about it.

But I've been wondering about this in a more subtle way...as opposed to the blatant stuff you mentioned above, the ongoing level of non-next-worthy BS. Like being in a relationship where the girl is amazing and mind-blowing 65% of the time and somewhat of a pita the other %35. Worth it? Seems like the really interesting, stimulating, wild-in-the-sack girls always come with a toll to pay for it (emotionally unstable for example). Yeah I've been in perfect no-drama relationships before but those girls are usually duller and not as stimulating. Seems like a catch-22. Kind of bummed on the conundrum right now honestly...

 

[ilikecharlene]

Define drama. All human relationships, whether work-based, familial, spousal, bf/gf, have challenges. the challenges simply differ in severity. The key to resolving them is how mature both parties are. If drama is too much, and makes it unhealthy to live/be with the person again, end it. It's that simple.

 

[DonJuanabe]

Being stabbed or having your money spent isn't drama. It's criminal behavior. Big difference and if you don't see it you need to do some serious thinking.

 

[Johnnyventana]

Two sides of the drama coin, if you ask me.

If doing so required you to be selfish and callous at times, would that tradeoff be worth it, or would you prefer to be in a relationship where you're a nice person, but there is drama.

 

[Knight's Cross]

As far as drama, each of us has our tolerance line. I think most women function on a certain level of drama. In my past I'd seen some women that had low and some that had high. You're experience with little to 0 from your girlfriend is rare but not unheard of. So she never argues? Never does anything that causes you grief? Explain to us what you consider drama, because knife to the back or theft are way extreme behaviors.
I've also noted that my BS line, or Drama meter has moved around. Back in the AFC day it was pretty high, whereas today I've moved it to very low. First sign of drama and I'm pushing the woman out the door.
KC

 

[abcd_z]

AlphaWhiskey: Yes, thank you. This is the exact sort of personal introspection I love seeing. Incidentally, is your nickname a Dollhouse reference?

ilikecharlie: To summarize, you're saying I should stick it out unless it becomes too much to handle. Where do you, personally, draw that line? At what point do you say "this is too much for me to handle, I'm out of here"?

Donjuanabe: Yes, I am aware that it is criminal behavior. It is also a good starting point. Most people look at that and say "that is behavior I wouldn't tolerate." Then you move on from there. "Okay, THIS is behavior I wouldn't tolerate, but THAT isn't." Where do you, personally, draw the line, Donjuanabe?

Johnnyventana: I'm not sure what you mean by that. Could you clarify your response?

 

[Colossus]

As far as drama, each of us has our tolerance line. I think most women function on a certain level of drama. In my past I'd seen some women that had low and some that had high. You're experience with little to 0 from your girlfriend is rare but not unheard of. So she never argues? Never does anything that causes you grief? Explain to us what you consider drama, because knife to the back or theft are way extreme behaviors.
I've also noted that my BS line, or Drama meter has moved around. Back in the AFC day it was pretty high, whereas today I've moved it to very low. First sign of drama and I'm pushing the woman out the door.
KC

Agreed.

"Drama" is subjective and each man has his limits. There are a lot of variables that affect those limits---how hot she is, what else she brings to the table, etc.

EVERY girl is going to need some level of drama in a relationship (which I would define as contention). If she is the rare one who doesn't, she probably gets it from her friends.

Drama is a lot like a fire, I've learned. It must be fed to stay alive. So if you respond to every little spark she shoots your way, there will always be drama. Learn the power of selective ignoring.

 

[5string]

What's wrong with no drama? I don't see a problem.

You set your boundaries and if breached, that is when you draw the line and call it a day.

 

[abcd_z]

Colossus: So you're saying that every relationship has drama. As stated in my original post, I'm in a 2+ year relationship that has had no drama whatsoever, and other people using this system report the same thing. Are you saying that we are somehow misguided or otherwise got lucky? Do you believe that it's impossible that this system could do as I claim it does?

Also, (and I've been saying this a lot in this thread,) where do you, personally, draw the line? What behaviors are obviously unacceptable to you, and what ones would you let her get away with?

5string: Yeah, that's... that's pretty much the system I run.

 

[Johnnyventana]

Two sides of the drama coin, if you ask me.
Quote:
If doing so required you to be selfish and callous at times, would that tradeoff be worth it, or would you prefer to be in a relationship where you're a nice person, but there is drama.

abcd_z - I meant that if you are employing being selfish and callous at times, isn't that drama in itself? A reaction to undesirable behavior? A kind of game, if you will.

 

[abcd_z]

Johnny: Oh, I see. No, I don't do drama, I just Next her for a week or more. That's what's seen by many people as selfish and callous.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Historically, I've found that the more drama people like in a relationship, usually the more IMMATURE they are, the more BORED they are in their daily lives--------OR, the more bored they are in "you".

 

[abcd_z]

Victory: Thank you for your input. What are your thoughts on the questions I raised in the original post?

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

I've been getting some grief from others about how I handle relationships, so I thought I'd get some outside opinions.

Where do you draw the line between staying with a partner and breaking up with him/her? If he/she attempted to stab you with a knife? If he/she drained your bank account and blew it on frivolous purposes? If you caught him/her cheating on you? Where do you draw the line?

When you are bored with her.... Or when she consistently disrespects you

People say that all relationships have drama, and yet I'm in a 2+ year relationship that has no drama whatsoever, and other people using this system report the same thing.

If you could be in a relationship that had absolutely zero drama, would you want to be?

Who likes to argue? Who likes drama? If you do you need some growing up to do

If doing so required you to be selfish and callous at times, would that tradeoff be worth it, or would you prefer to be in a relationship where you're a nice person, but there is drama.

You must always remember who will always have your back. and that is yourself. Being to nice only has negative consequences

Bear in mind that I don't think there are any right or wrong answers to these questions, I'd just like to know where you guys stand.

There ya go

 

[bigneil]

If you're not getting any sex and she is not initiating you are dead in the water. Move on.

Sex should happen fast.

In my last 7 relationships we had sex on 2nd date on average:

 

[Johnnyventana]

Johnny: Oh, I see. No, I don't do drama, I just Next her for a week or more. That's what's seen by many people as selfish and callous.

I like it!

 

[abcd_z]

PrettyboyAJ: Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions.

I think we probably see eye-to-eye on most things, but I am curious: you say "when she's consistently disrespecting you". Does that mean that occasional disrespect would be okay?

The responses I've gotten so far seem to imply that there's no hard and fast line (for most people). With that in mind, what affects whether or not you're willing to Next her for the occasional disrespect? For example, one response I've received is "length of time in the relationship". What other factors could change your mind one way or another?

Bigneil: I completely agree, but these questions are more directed at long-term relationships.

Johnny: Yeah, I do too. ^_^

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

When it is a pattern of disrespect then that's when you drop her. When you get disrespected you need to check her and let her know wasup. If she is still disrespectful after that I'd just drop her before it gets worse.

Girls can rationalize and defend their actions like a mutha. I was watching some TV yesterday and this girl tryed to defend sleeping with her ex baby dady to her current boyfriend. She was saying she didn't do anything wrong and it wasn't her fault. This h0 is definately broken in the head.

 

[abcd_z]

When it is a pattern of disrespect then that's when you drop her. When you get disrespected you need to check her and let her know wasup. If she is still disrespectful after that I'd just drop her before it gets worse.

Girls can rationalize and defend their actions like a mutha. I was watching some TV yesterday and this girl tryed to defend sleeping with her ex baby dady to her current boyfriend. She was saying she didn't do anything wrong and it wasn't her fault. This h0 is definately broken in the head.

Word.