"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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DragonKi's BootCamp Journal

dragonki

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Fellow DJs, it is time to begin a bootcamp!

I was a long time lurker, read the bible, decided to do stuff that I wanted and now I'm in a good place in my life. Today is the day for exercise one and two of week one of the camp. Hopefully it'll be as good as Walden's first week. I wonder if any DJs from that time are still around on this forum.

For reference, here is his journal:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?threads/boot-camp-journal.30105/

The bootcamp refereed to one of his recommended postings, but I couldn't find it, since the forum software got changed. but here is the link:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=298315
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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macallik

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Subscribed. Good luck
 

DragonChi

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Thanks Maca!

So it's been a slow couple days. Going about my daily business and it's hard to find people that will look me in the eye. I'm at 4 so far. 1 at the gym, 1 at the hospital, 2 at the grocery store.

This weekend I'm going to a meetup group, that counts right? I'm thinking of riding the public transit to get Hi's and eye contacts. The Hi part is the hardest I think, looking at people and smiling is easy as hell.
 

dustmuffin

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Thanks Maca!

So it's been a slow couple days. Going about my daily business and it's hard to find people that will look me in the eye. I'm at 4 so far. 1 at the gym, 1 at the hospital, 2 at the grocery store.

This weekend I'm going to a meetup group, that counts right? I'm thinking of riding the public transit to get Hi's and eye contacts. The Hi part is the hardest I think, looking at people and smiling is easy as hell.
I think it depends on what part of the country you live. I can easily get 50 grettings in a day.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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dragonki

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Vancouver, Canada. Known for it's cold, cliques. Went to one of our popular malls today. got the number up to 25. Mostly people working at stores. Some people made eye contact and looked away as I was saying Hi.

Working on saying Hi louder. Pretty sure they can here me but I don't think it's as confident as I like. Got lotion and my nails buffed by one store, ugh. Then invited to a church xmas party by an Elder, forgot his name. Walking around grinning like an idiot psychopath. lol. This damn bootcamp is terrifying at first, but gets pretty fun.

I'm going to try public transit and a touristy area tomorrow. Maybe sign up for a climbing gym certification for belaying.

I know that most people around here don't make eye contact because it's seen as, " staring someone down", which is like starting trouble/****. But it's usually not accompanied by a smile. I've been practicing in the mirror, and I'm damn sure I'm smiling.
 

dragonki

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I seem to get most smile eye contacts if it's turning a corner and the eye contact smile is a reaction. Happened today when I was working at the hospital. The chick was cute, I didn't say Hi though. I was walking with coworkers.
 

dragonki

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I should have chatted up this chick that was goofing off at the calendar store on trike though. I bitched out :(.

Probably going to the bar scene this weekend too. I find it way easier to talk to people at a bar.
 

dragonki

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I think it depends on what part of the country you live. I can easily get 50 grettings in a day.
Hi DustMuffin,

If it's possible, I believe! May I ask where'd you go to do these 50 greetings? I'm probably going about it in a slow way.

A ladies pub night perhaps.
 

dustmuffin

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Hi DustMuffin,

If it's possible, I believe! May I ask where'd you go to do these 50 greetings? I'm probably going about it in a slow way.

A ladies pub night perhaps.
I live in the south so everyone says hello
I start in the morning. At the conviemce store I can get 5 or more. Then work at least 25 maybe more. Grocery store, gym, gas station again...there is your 50....like i said its a curtural thing to greet everyone.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

dragonki

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Dang, that sounds like a warm part of the country you live in.
In my culture, it's good manners to say hello and wave. But in North America, it's kind of different, it seems a lot of people keep to themselves.

I need to move to the South!

Got 5 more today, actually said hello in passing to a few, and they said Hi back, woo!
 

dustmuffin

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Dang, that sounds like a warm part of the country you live in.
In my culture, it's good manners to say hello and wave. But in North America, it's kind of different, it seems a lot of people keep to themselves.

I need to move to the South!

Got 5 more today, actually said hello in passing to a few, and they said Hi back, woo!
Good for you! Keep at it! When I say the south I mean southern US. They are pretty friendly down here. I am working on my conversation skills by talking to strangers when I can. I have made the c store employees my buddy. Talked with this guy that was on something too in c store this morning. He had about 3 teeth total.
 

dragonki

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was his name Cletus? j/k It sounds like it would've been an interesting conversation.

The struggle boys! Got stuff in my car stolen this morning. Got my 50 Hi's. On to conversations! Was super friendly to a waitress this weekend.
 

dragonki

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Good for you! Keep at it! When I say the south I mean southern US. They are pretty friendly down here. I am working on my conversation skills by talking to strangers when I can. I have made the c store employees my buddy. Talked with this guy that was on something too in c store this morning. He had about 3 teeth total.
Lol, 3 teeth. I wonder if he uses them more than his gums now. Homeless dudes are pretty fun to talk to, I find. Their view on the world can be pretty warped.
 

dragonki

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Dear lord, exercise 2. Talk to 10 random people for 2-10 mins. Good thing I got invited to a church this Friday from last weeks approaches. Next up will be meetup.com and old folks home. If I'm lucky, a cold approach to a chick that looks interesting. :)
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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dragonki

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Successful meetup is successful. Chatting and building rapport with people at the gym and a dude at the store was pretty easy. Xmas party at a meetup turned out great! I think I got 9 out of 10 done. Might actually be done 10 already.

This phobia of talking to girls is pretty dumb. All the ones tonight were happy to chat, this 10 rejections thing might be hard. I think hitting up a ladies night at a bar is going to have even better results than a meetup.
 

dustmuffin

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Successful meetup is successful. Chatting and building rapport with people at the gym and a dude at the store was pretty easy. Xmas party at a meetup turned out great! I think I got 9 out of 10 done. Might actually be done 10 already.

This phobia of talking to girls is pretty dumb. All the ones tonight were happy to chat, this 10 rejections thing might be hard. I think hitting up a ladies night at a bar is going to have even better results than a meetup.
Keep up the good work
 

dragonki

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Thanks Muffin!

It's so hard to find chicks that I want to date right now. My office is 100% dudes. I think I may be cornered to do cold approaches on public transit. ****, high chance of me bitching out though. Week 3 is hard!
 

dragonki

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I should note that I've spoken with 2 different eastern European men, and they say that women here are cold. Just to give an idea of the challenge ahead.

One of them even said they were moving back to Romania because of it, it was partly why, but still a reason.
 

dragonki

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Wow, today was the most AFC day ever. Saw 2 chicks I would talk to and bitched out.

Sort of recovered by talking to a waitress. If that even counts.

Hopefully snowboarding be more fruitful tomorrow. Why must talking to chicks be so hard?! The real question is, where can I find women that aren't waitresses or love clubbing.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

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