Double standards relationship solutions?

[highSpeed]

Everything you’re posting about her makes me think she’s going to leave you.
She doesn’t want you, doesn’t feel close to you, and is now going to a personal trainer to get in shape.
Not trying to make you paranoid but from a female perspective I would not be surprised if she’s getting ready to leave.
And you are deciding to stick around becuase you don’t want to be raped in court and you don’t want to be a part time dad (according to your posts). That’s admirable, you seem like a good Dad but you’re also a human being with feelings.
Yes if you leave her, you will have to deal with family court and potentially be a part time Dad.
But if she leaves you, you will still have to deal with family court and potentially being a part time dad.
Wouldn’t it be better to end things more on your terms rather than hers? Which way will make you feel worse?
Don’t want to derail the thread but I just want to give you a bit of a female take on your situation. My apologies if I stepped too far, but I’ve been in an unhappy marriage before so I can relate a bit.

I have had my suspicions but honestly, there's not much to be done about that. Yes, I can maybe start to squirrel some resources away but that's really about it. I am a good dad, I care about my kids and staying in the house as long as I can is what would seem to be best for them, no matter whether or not we get along or not. Studies show that kids are about 30 times more likely to be abused when it's a single mother household, so if I have to sacrifice some of my happiness for their safety, well I guess that's what I signed up for.

I feel hoodwinked, misled, believe me, she was a much different creature when we were dating. There were some signs that if I wasn't looking at things with rose colored glasses I could have seen but if you didnt' have rose colored glasses at some point, why in the hell would you marry someone anyway? Part of me wishes I looked at life more pragmatically but I've always been guilty of looking at life as an optimist, which has definitely screwed me on a number of occasions. The sex was good, it was plenty and as soon as we got married, it started to dry up, to where we are at now. Had someone approached me and asked me if I wanted to get married and essentially be celibate, no matter how good a person she was, I'd have said no, plain and simple.

 

[highSpeed]

Buy her flowers do all this nice chit for what? Is she doing it for you? Your in a common position where the wife is no longer pleasing her husband nor does she care. In an effort to communicate his love the husband bends over backwards for her, doing all this extra to "make her happy " and she sees right thru it. The problem at the core is her DESIRE is non existent. On the power level she knows she has you trapped. She knows she doesnt want to fvck you and there's nothing you can do about it. How do you get past that? Can you do anything which rekindles desire and need? What if the entire seduction was to secure a dependable husband and to have the 1 or 2 kids. What if there was never love?

I'm literally going to think about some ways to make one more attempt. If I'm rebuffed, I'm going to seriously consider getting some on the side, no matter how long it lasts. I'm tired of being an after thought to my wife, you know, the person I literally work my a$$ off to make happy and who pays absolutely no attention to my happiness.

 

[highSpeed]

This happens too much in marriage.. sad

Make deals with her, bargain, ex. buy a set of 6'y lingerie and arrange a night without kids, after surprise her with this gift, and say she/you/family can do x she want, if she eat dinner and watches fifty shades of grey, all night only dressed in this. Its a challange to her, and put's fun games back in to the marriage. It's worth a try... and cheaper too

I get plenty on that front, so no problem there. I do all nights since she started this disgusting job. She said this morning her thingy had pain, and maybe needed a break, I said okay we see tonight. She don't go working this, hungry

I've thought about trying that but I've been shot down so many times that I've literally almost stopped trying. I could honestly punch a hole in the wall every day thinking about how much of my sexual prime I've wasted on stupid f*cking relationships that have only made me dissatisfied with women in general.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I'm literally going to think about some ways to make one more attempt. If I'm rebuffed, I'm going to seriously consider getting some on the side, no matter how long it lasts. I'm tired of being an after thought to my wife, you know, the person I literally work my a$$ off to make happy and who pays absolutely no attention to my happiness.

Take away attention from someone whose not giving you attention. Take away acts of service and respect for someone whose not providing you the same.

Later on you may be able to frame a complex seduction but you have to get to self love first. Shes going to have to come to you.

 

[Newbee2]

I've thought about trying that but I've been shot down so many times that I've literally almost stopped trying. I could honestly punch a hole in the wall every day thinking about how much of my sexual prime I've wasted on stupid f*cking relationships that have only made me dissatisfied with women in general.

Why is the main theme; dissatisfied with women in general. Seen so often now?

Women gained equality an been unhappy ever since, and bring this to the whole society. Men and kids... alike

Yeah tell her you "clean" , "declutter" sell things you don't need and hide the money away. Only share a little bit with her, and hope for the kids you can do co-parenting with her as a room mate. Safe yourself because goverment gave her a loaded gun the day you signed the contract. Read mgtow forums and ask in there how to prepare.. you might want to get a low paying job long time before because of alimony settelment. Hide assets away just in case of a divorce. Hope for the best, but know your enemy. Mgtow's know this show, and will guide you. You don't know a woman before you divorce her

 

[Newbee2]

Back to the tropic..

How much should I use the jealosy card?, should I show her tantra massage, we have close by. Their web page have good pictures, and they massage only in g-string or less. They don't offer 6.. only emotional / massage. But they are two very hot girls. Sure she can feel more when she see pics.. childish I know, but I f with her mind because she is very jealous. Then tell her again she can feel the same as me, every day.. and after I go, ask how she felt all day, and ask if she understand why massage therapists has the third higest divorce statistic.

Am I punching wholes in the air?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Back to the tropic..

How much should I use the jealosy card?, should I show her tantra massage, we have close by. Their web page have good pictures, and they massage only in g-string or less. They don't offer 6.. only emotional / massage. But they are two very hot girls. Sure she can feel more when she see pics.. childish I know, but I f with her mind because she is very jealous. Then tell her again she can feel the same as me, every day.. and after I go, ask how she felt all day, and ask if she understand why massage therapists has the third higest divorce statistic.

Am I punching wholes in the air?

Take your time. Do t rush it. Do things that make you happy. Get to a point where you know 1/2 of her coworkers would desire to suck n fbck you.

 

[Newbee2]

Take your time. Do t rush it. Do things that make you happy. Get to a point where you know 1/2 of her coworkers would desire to suck n fbck you.

Her coworkers are undesirable from a reproductive perspective.

Her old work college and her fighting one month when we started dating, because they both wanted the same. Chicken's don't like each others, one bit..

Yes was thinking the same.. sadly my motorcycle is in my home country, so I cannot go trackday racing right now. Other than that nothing, I don't drink, gamble or dance. I don't like party a lot..

Yes thank you, I breath a bit, so she can have space too

 

[AJ84]

Back to the tropic..

How much should I use the jealosy card?, should I show her tantra massage, we have close by. Their web page have good pictures, and they massage only in g-string or less. They don't offer 6.. only emotional / massage. But they are two very hot girls. Sure she can feel more when she see pics.. childish I know, but I f with her mind because she is very jealous. Then tell her again she can feel the same as me, every day.. and after I go, ask how she felt all day, and ask if she understand why massage therapists has the third higest divorce statistic.

Am I punching wholes in the air?

Yes. If you play this ‘who is more desirable/ who can get attention from the opposite sex game who do you really think is going to win that?
Even an ugly chick can get laid. Don’t play dumb games just have standards and stick by them. If she doesn’t respect them find someone who will.
And they say women love drama, come on this is all a bit silly don’t you think?

 

[Newbee2]

Yes. If you play this ‘who is more desirable/ who can get attention from the opposite sex game who do you really think is going to win that?
Even an ugly chick can get laid. Don’t play dumb games just have standards and stick by them. If she doesn’t respect them find someone who will.
And they say women love drama, come on this is all a bit silly don’t you think?

Yes.. its silly. Hopeless battle.. what stupid men do for love

Yes I know women can have more easy access. We have to win their emotions first.. that's why it takes time.. unless you go for more young models then its look's n money

You're female right? How to get her too see things from my perspective? Feel what I feel about this intimacy with others.. or women are just more cold selfish n thoughtless

 

[AJ84]

Yes.. its silly. Hopeless battle.. what stupid men do for love

Yes I know women can have more easy access. We have to win their emotions first.. that's why it takes time.. unless you go for more young models then its look's n money

You're female right? How to get her too see things from my perspective? Feel what I feel about this intimacy with others.. or women are just more cold selfish n thoughtless

You’re not stupid, and not all women are selfish and thoughless, but if there is a double standard happening here and you called her on it and she doesn’t see it that way, how long are you willing to play games to get her to see how you feel?
Does she care how you feel?

Also, I’m assuming that she’s working at some spa and is not a registered massage therapist at a medical type clinic. The latter is an actual career which would be kind of hard to just give up if she went to school for that. So with that assumption are there other jobs she is interested in that pay the same?

Instead of the games, find out what it is she likes about that job and see what she says. That may give you more clarity on why she wants to work there. Is there something about that job she likes or is it more because you don’t want her to work there and she’s seeing it as you trying to control her.
Basically communicate with her your concerns and ask what her perspective is and if she refuses to do even that, then she’s not mature enough for a real relationship.

 

[Newbee2]

You’re not stupid, and not all women are selfish and thoughless, but if there is a double standard happening here and you called her on it and she doesn’t see it that way, how long are you willing to play games to get her to see how you feel?
Does she care how you feel?

Also, I’m assuming that she’s working at some spa and is not a registered massage therapist at a medical type clinic. The latter is an actual career which would be kind of hard to just give up if she went to school for that. So with that assumption are there other jobs she is interested in that pay the same?

Instead of the games, find out what it is she likes about that job and see what she says. That may give you more clarity on why she wants to work there. Is there something about that job she likes or is it more because you don’t want her to work there and she’s seeing it as you trying to control her.
Basically communicate with her your concerns and ask what her perspective is and if she refuses to do even that, then she’s not mature enough for a real relationship.

Thank you for a good reply.. food for thought

how long are you willing to play games to get her to see how you feel? I'm tired of this all ready.. I just try n try... hope

because I don't want to find another woman, with new set of problems. I like her most the time, but she too difficult the rest of the time. I know I'm idealist compaired to her relaxed style, she is extrovert, I'm introvert but that could be balanced together.

Does she care how you feel? Doesn't look like it now. I know she does, sometimes. Yes but not too much, she is a woman, and mainly see her own nose.

Spa..

It can impossible be utopia working this job. She see money.. but I will ask n listen

Thanks again

 

[Crosstimbers Okie]

Well, let's say our intimacy levels are pretty low. We haven't had sex in almost 2 months now. Of course, it's always all my fault. I work too late, she's not happy with my behavior, she doesn't feel close to me, of course it could never by anything she does. I buy her flowers, open doors, do all kinds of nice sh*t but somehow, it's never enough. I'd go out and get some one the side but honestly, I don't know where I'd ever find the time. Between family and work, there's just not that much time to go out and do anything else. I've got 4 meetings today and all of my regular work. When do I find time to go out and game chicks into bed? Honestly, if I knew some good, quality, clean hookers, the thought would definitely cross my mind.

I'm not going to sit here and b*tch, it is what it is. But I'll be dammed if she's going to go out and have some guy's hands all over her and I'm going to meekly accept it. I'll got to the mat on that one.

You don't need to be buying her flowers and other bull****. And only open doors for her if she's carrying something and can't open it herself.

What you do need to do is find 30 minutes four days a week to pet her ***** and **** her good. If you don't do it some other dudes will be doing it for you if they aren't already.

 

[Crosstimbers Okie]

I have had my suspicions but honestly, there's not much to be done about that. Yes, I can maybe start to squirrel some resources away but that's really about it. I am a good dad, I care about my kids and staying in the house as long as I can is what would seem to be best for them, no matter whether or not we get along or not. Studies show that kids are about 30 times more likely to be abused when it's a single mother household, so if I have to sacrifice some of my happiness for their safety, well I guess that's what I signed up for.

I feel hoodwinked, misled, believe me, she was a much different creature when we were dating. There were some signs that if I wasn't looking at things with rose colored glasses I could have seen but if you didnt' have rose colored glasses at some point, why in the hell would you marry someone anyway? Part of me wishes I looked at life more pragmatically but I've always been guilty of looking at life as an optimist, which has definitely screwed me on a number of occasions. The sex was good, it was plenty and as soon as we got married, it started to dry up, to where we are at now. Had someone approached me and asked me if I wanted to get married and essentially be celibate, no matter how good a person she was, I'd have said no, plain and simple.

You should try ****ing her really good first. It'll be much cheaper. She sees you as her beta provider and doesn't respect you. The best way out of your dilemma is to become more dominant and tell her straight out that she is sexy and you want to **** her. Then do it. Ignore the bull**** that comes out of her mouth and **** her. Women crave indignation anyway. Give her something to complain about, you treating her like a slut, and **** her like she's a slut which is also what she craves. Don't pay any attention to what she says, only what she does. Women's heads always have to be running about some inane bull****. If what she does is spread her thighs and give you her *****, then that is the true message. Continue ****ing her. If she refuses to give you her *****, then you'll know it's time to execute your exit strategy.

 

[Newbee2]

Yes. If you play this ‘who is more desirable/ who can get attention from the opposite sex game who do you really think is going to win that?
Even an ugly chick can get laid. Don’t play dumb games just have standards and stick by them. If she doesn’t respect them find someone who will.
And they say women love drama, come on this is all a bit silly don’t you think?

https://www.capebretonpost.com/news...embertou-cancelled-due-to-lack-of-men-283597/

Baby rabies women.. they only have limited time and the clock tic loud from first 30's..

or single mothers who have kids with chad n tyrone.. no thanks

Yes chad n tyrone players will give women 6 anytime they want very easy.

Men can pua work, or pay to play - easy..

We get the same, anyway

Quality partners are hard to find.. we only have a few chances that life gives to us

No offence, I like your opinions and comments..

I didn't talk much last night, because she felt bad already

 

[Newbee2]

This woman does not align herself with a profession or behavior that is considerate of or respectful toward you. Her words and actions demonstrste that she does not deeply care about or prioritize your feelings. Either one of those should be a dealbreaker for an LTR and never ignored. You have offered no real positive qualities in her. Most men would have left long ago and never looked back. At the very most she should have been demoted to a plate. Yet you talk of potential marriage and kids with this woman still.

In my view, you are either incredibly desperate, have terrible oneitis, or are a troll entertaining yourself. A truly healthy Man would choose otherwise. Best to have a good look at yourself. Life offers so much more.

You are right

I told her this morning, if this is the lifestyle she choose, its better she stay alone. No argumental way, just normal calm talking

 

[AJ84]

https://www.capebretonpost.com/news...embertou-cancelled-due-to-lack-of-men-283597/

Baby rabies women.. they only have limited time and the clock tic loud from first 30's..

or single mothers who have kids with chad n tyrone.. no thanks

Yes chad n tyrone players will give women 6 anytime they want very easy.

Men can pua work, or pay to play - easy..

We get the same, anyway

Quality partners are hard to find.. we only have a few chances that life gives to us

No offence, I like your opinions and comments..

I didn't talk much last night, because she felt bad already

Have you ever been to Cape Breton? Not sure where you are from but I’m Canadian, and Cape Breton, like most small communities, will have a shortage of single people compared to bigger cities. Also many Canadian men in small East Coast communities have moved away for work, on the oil fields etc. The article also states that ticket sales were low for men and women, so this really is not a good example of a wider dating trend for women or men.
Cape Breton is an awesome community though, really good people.
Anyway if you feel you can turn this around give it a go, but don’t hold out hope on her changing because of whatever red pill tactics you want to apply because like I said before, people don’t change their fundamental selves and it may be better to just find someone who shows you respect and is willing to meet you half way.

 

[Newbee2]

With all respect, it’s not simply her lifestyle choice that’s a concern. The fact that she does not intrinsically, ‘on her own,’ show care, concern or respect, for your feelings and preferences, should be an immediate deal breaker, IMHO.

Your oneitis is too strong, to keep seeing her for just sex. You’ll stay intertwined. More importantly, your time, energy and attention are valuable and should only be given to those, who of their own accord, show you respect and care.

Have more self-respect. Raise your standards. Choose to move on. Move on, not because she won’t change for you, but because you desire someone who actually already intrinsically shares your values and lives accordingly.

Maybe oneitis.. I'm exhausted thinking about more of the same shyte, I'm tired of the selfish entitlement, from people who brings nothing but problems, emotional luggage, debt around. I don't want to continue trying different women. it's a waste of time and energy n money. This one have gone fairly good uptill now, so a bit of training could possible make something worth while. Perfect or unicorn is impossible in today's world. We have changed too much in 60 years, traditional caring women is a thing of the past. I feel more like staying completly out of the game now.. surrogacy if the reproductive wish is too big. Yes a form of oneitis because, why try more? I do better alone, even though I enjoy relationship.

Sorry mate I'm not cheerful about this anymore. Maybe there are okay women around, but too far in between, too much quantity and no real quality

 

[Newbee2]

Have you ever been to Cape Breton? Not sure where you are from but I’m Canadian, and Cape Breton, like most small communities, will have a shortage of single people compared to bigger cities. Also many Canadian men in small East Coast communities have moved away for work, on the oil fields etc. The article also states that ticket sales were low for men and women, so this really is not a good example of a wider dating trend for women or men.
Cape Breton is an awesome community though, really good people.
Anyway if you feel you can turn this around give it a go, but don’t hold out hope on her changing because of whatever red pill tactics you want to apply because like I said before, people don’t change their fundamental selves and it may be better to just find someone who shows you respect and is willing to meet you half way.

Okai bad example..

I don't know nothing now, I just said to her if she choose this lifestyle, it's better she stay alone.

You're the one that said to me; silly games and drama.. I cannot win. I don't understand, what I should do? If I do too much resentment will take over..

 

[highSpeed]

Why is the main theme; dissatisfied with women in general. Seen so often now?

Women gained equality an been unhappy ever since, and bring this to the whole society. Men and kids... alike

Yeah tell her you "clean" , "declutter" sell things you don't need and hide the money away. Only share a little bit with her, and hope for the kids you can do co-parenting with her as a room mate. Safe yourself because goverment gave her a loaded gun the day you signed the contract. Read mgtow forums and ask in there how to prepare.. you might want to get a low paying job long time before because of alimony settelment. Hide assets away just in case of a divorce. Hope for the best, but know your enemy. Mgtow's know this show, and will guide you. You don't know a woman before you divorce her

Those are all good tips. I've got some things working at the moment which could free me from the rat race shortly. When that happens, very soon, we'll be having a different conversation.