"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Door to door preacher "tongue rapes" woman

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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SharinganUser

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lol Typical. A choirboy goes down on a priest and nothing happens, ever. A priest goes down on some chick and **** hits the fan.
 

SgtSplacker

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Thats the problem with religion, it gives you power over people. So naturally you get a bunch of self serving a-holes trying to get into the scene and have this power for themselves. Government is the same way... SMH
 

backbreaker

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where is the blow job prayer religion that's what i want to know
 

Burroughs

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A chick got eaten out...AND SHE COMPLAINS?!
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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jafyk

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Lmao! This story is just too funny. Ok, fine she was dumb and got decieved but there was no sexual assault because nothing was done against her wishes.

@ Sgt Splacker: There are always going to be people who will use incidents such as this for purpose of discredit. So, let me ask you this. When a police officer abuses his position does it now make the laws he's supposed to uphold useless?
If the said christian girl in question is knowledgeable about the bible she wouldn't have fallen victim to this man. This story is just funny really. How can someone be so dumb? Most times if a preacher is seeing any female member of his church it should either be in an open place or in the company of a 3rd party anything apart from that starts to become a situation of temptation for the preacher and also an opportunity for him to become a victim. Even at my job when the IT person goes to the dorms to helps students I have to accompany him. So, that he doesn't get falsely accused or so that he doesn't do something to a student either.
 

Quiksilver

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Keep the discussion on the incident at hand and avoid discussion of religion.

_____

Hmm ... I haven't seen an entry in the DJ Bible on Door-to-Door game.
 

DJ Logic

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^^ Thank you Quiksilver - I posted this for LOLs, not so that people could unravel the depths of religious corruption. Besides, in the end it's not religions that do these unspeakable things - it's people using faith as an excuse. I guess what I'm saying is if a man wants to tongue-rape a woman, then by God he'll find a way to do it.
 
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