Don't you think dates are unfair

[Kultam]

Most dates I've been on were something like that:

1. First approach. She either likes your look not. If she likes it, then step 2. If not, then she will probably run after 20 minutes or eventually she will stay for longer to not make you sad or to not misbehave.

2. You entertaining her and not the other way around. She has been on other 3 dates this week so you have to be the funniest.

Very rarely I see other side being funny or leading the conversation/date. It's (almost) always males who have to prove their worth. If a male was just to go there and just answer lady's questions instead of leading the date then she wouldn't choose him at all.

Your thoughts?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

When you get your self-worth and self-respect right you will be one interviewing women and not the other way around.

 

[marmel75]

That's because you have the entirely wrong mindset and attitude going into and while on the date.

 

[TheGambino]

My plates say: Im tired of having to proof myself over and over with You..

That’s What You want to hear, I overdue iT though

 

[The Duke]

Most dates I've been on were something like that:

1. First approach. She either likes your look not. If she likes it, then step 2. If not, then she will probably run after 20 minutes or eventually she will stay for longer to not make you sad or to not misbehave.

2. You entertaining her and not the other way around. She has been on other 3 dates this week so you have to be the funniest.

Very rarely I see other side being funny or leading the conversation/date. It's (almost) always males who have to prove their worth. If a male was just to go there and just answer lady's questions instead of leading the date then she wouldn't choose him at all.

Your thoughts?

-I pick what we do on the date and where we go....she doesn't! That's fair to me, not her.
-I don't entertain them, I pretty much ask a few open ended questions, listen, and add interesting tidbits and funny stories about myself here and there. They usually do the majority of the talking. I will know more about them than they know about me by the time the date is over. Very rarely(<15% of the time) have I went on a first date that did not develop into a relationship.
-Women are typically not funny and they aren't leaders. Stop expecting this out of them. They want you to be the leader. I like to lead, because I like to have my way and be in charge.

One thing to keep in mind is women might get to do the initial choosing, but men get to decide what type of relationship ensues. Also our looks don't have an expiration date like theirs do. It all balances out.

Get out of your comfort zone and push yourself.

 

[Glassguy]

If she doesnt like your appearance (blind date, 1st date from OLD, etc) you're out. Not much you can do.

I think the key to first dates are to be fun and laid back. Most women get nervous on a first date and like a man who can be fun, playful and cool/collected. Its an easy way to lead them.

On a typical first date I just get them talking. I rarely give them compliments right away and for the most part I smile, listen and keep the conversation going by asking a question here and there. "Oh yeah, how did that go"...."really? Tell me more about that".

Unless the date is anti social and doesnt like to talk (which is screened out before the date btw), a woman loves to talk to anyone that will listen. When you put a smiling, laid back man across from her to listen and keep the conversation going, its a home run.

When you get a woman talking, she will uncontrollably tell you everything you want to know (good and bad).

I also tease a little just to show that I am carefree and willing to give her a hard time while getting her in my frame.

She is there to sell me on why I should escalate/go on another date with her. Its not the other way around.

 

[Glassguy]

-I pick what we do on the date and where we go....she doesn't! That's fair to me, not her.
-I don't entertain them, I pretty much ask a few open ended questions, listen, and add interesting tidbits and funny stories about myself here and there. They usually do the majority of the talking. I will know more about them than they know about me by the time the date is over. Very rarely(<15% of the time) have I went on a first date that did not develop into a relationship.
-Women are typically not funny and they aren't leaders. Stop expecting this out of them. They want you to be the leader. I like to lead, because I like to have my way and be in charge.

One thing to keep in mind is women migh get to do the initial choosing on, but men get to decide what type of relationship ensues. Also our looks don't have an expiration date like theirs do. It all balances out.

Get out of your comfort zone and push your self.

Howie brings up a very good point in his post-

"I will know more about them than the do me when the date is over".

Thats what I do. Even though I am feet away the entire date, they walk out knowing much less about me than I do them by design.

The interviewer for a job is finding out about the job applicant, not the other way around.

Woman tell me all the time after a first date "You know all about me now but I know very little about you"....DUH! When they find out everything they want to know they want a new challenge. Thats why its important to get them talking and just smile, laugh and keep the conversation (and drinks) going.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

I don't really date a lot, but tend to go out partying a lot and meet / socialise with girls that way. Kind of bypass the whole dating thing a lot of the time that way, and all of the drama that goes with it. Traditional 'dating' is becoming a bit old fashioned; though it is still possible to make it work in your favour.

Tips to avoid sh!tty first dates:

-Keep them short - 1-2 hours max. Leave her wanting more, unless you literally haven't stopped talking for two hours. Also, be the one to end the date first, unless you think there's chance of the lay, in which case invite her back*.
-Be conscious of how it's going. If conversation runs dry after half an hour, or her opinions annoy you, politely make your excuses and leave.
-Go to more than one venue; preferably three. Gives the impression of multiple dates in one.
>My preference is always the Three Bar Bounce.
-Don't spend loads of money. End of the day, you don't know that this person isn't just after a meal ticket. Buy the first drink, but they should also put their hands in the purse at least once.
-If it's going well, you need physical proximity and kissing to happen as early as possible. As I say above, be conscious of how it's going.

*Note: inviting girls back on a first date sometimes wrecks your chances with an otherwise interested girl. If you have any doubts, but still think it's going well, wait until second or third for the invite. Many are still very traditional in that sense, but most will put out by date 3-4 if you show a bit of patience.

Like I say, I don't really do official dates as such at the moment. I go out partying, girls invite me to other parties and it just kind of escalates from there. If you can socialise in this way, removing all romantic intentions at least initially, you've basically won the game, then it just comes down to physical escalation.