"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Don't you just adore the way their heads work?

evoke

Don Juan
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I'll begin by saying that I seriously, seriously, screwed up. I'm talking, behaviour so bizarre that Tom Cruise's recent shenanigans wouldn't raise a single brow in comparison. I wanted so bad not to lose her, that I did everything TO lose her. That kinda thing.

Anyway, I scared her off. Either that, or she hooked up with someone else a little more grounded, but I definately did a lot of wrong things, and I take full blame (well, the alcoholic shell I was living under didn't help). Duh. I didn't hear from her for a month, and I was too ashamed of myself to even attempt contacting her.

I spent that time re-evaluated things, and made a lot of changes in my life, and I quickly bounced back and started acting like myself again.

Then, just when I thought it was safe, she sends me a text message. She indirectly asked me out to see a movie. I questioned her sudden interest, assuming that she was terrified of me, and also told her that I had already seen it. She tells me that she needed time to get over it (IE: whoever she hooked up with must not have done it for her). She also said that she misses me, and that we should get together sometime. I reply with a simple "Oh", and let it go, for now.

Now, she's either still interested in me (she must be a masochist), she got dumped and needs some validation, or she's plain just fvcking about with my head.

I guess I'll just have to wait and see what she does next, and hope I don't revert back into a mong.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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penkitten

Master Don Juan
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or she wants valadation and to play with you...


time will tell, be on your toes
 

nishbuk

Master Don Juan
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If she dumped you, then you seriously cannot expect anything serious out of this. I believe Antidump here. When a girl says "It's over" you are now a loser in her eyes, and nothing you can ever do in the future, can get her to have a serious committed relationship with you. Do you just want to play around with her, not too serious? Go ahead, that's okay But for the love of god, don't get attached to a girl that's dumped you, and don't expect a relationship.
Cause if she comes back and says "I miss you, I want to see you", then basically what's she's saying is:

"Well Now that I know that I can dump you and you'll still be here when I get back, you'll do basically anything I want! YAY! I have a lapdog".

If it was me, no matter how hard, I would say no. Just no. Not now, not ever.
 
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