"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Don't want to give my Facebook - QUICK HELP!

For_F

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Hey Guys

Got this girl's number a few nights ago, rang her tonight. We talked she was very happy to hear from me. I had a set night I wanted to meet her but she said she has a friend's dinner night which was planned in advanced so I pretty much am getting her to miss it or for her to give me an alternative date. Anyway, my issue is that right after the hang up she messaged me asking for my full name. I KNEW it was for Facebook.

She then said sorry don't want to sound like a creep but it's just for Facebook, here's my full name _______ add me :).

I don't want to be 'friends' and I don't want her on my FB, so how the hell do I dodge this? I already said I have an account and that I'll add her when I get back home.....
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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dbx

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I add people to a restricted list if I don't really want them as a friend on FB. Means they can't see your friend list etc. I don't include them in my posts etc. either.

If you've already said you have one and that you'll add her, I don't know what you can say to get out of it. Why don't you want to add her?
 

For_F

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I guess I could add her to something like that. I'll have to fiddle around with the settings unless you could give me a hand?

Don't want her on my FB because she seems like a really immature and noisy kind of chick. Just want her on the side and out of everyone's way. But I guess her nature will require sh*t like FB and text messaging. I've paced my text messages to her and she replies before I put my phone down.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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For_F

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It'd be hard juggling two FBs considering all the mutual friend and friend suggestions it provides people with but is definitely an option for here on in.

As for tonight? I guess I just don't add or make contact with her tonight and just say I couldn't find her. What's a good approach to saying screw FB just meet up with me Im not going to creep lol. Being in a relationship with my b!tch ex for so long made me forget what it was like chasing girls, getting knocked by some and busting the others.
 

Desdinova

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For_F said:
I don't want to be 'friends' and I don't want her on my FB, so how the hell do I dodge this? I already said I have an account and that I'll add her when I get back home.....
That's why you don't lie to them. Instead, you just say "okay" and let her search for you. Then you don't add her. If she asks about it, tell her you never use it.

I personally don't let people see my account unless they're my friend. There are also ways to prevent people searching for you on FB.

You're going to have a difficult time with women and people in general if you constantly feel the need to tell them what they want to hear to avoid any kind of negative emotions. You're going to upset people once in a while, and you need to learn to live with that.
 

For_F

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Desdinova said:
That's why you don't lie to them. Instead, you just say "okay" and let her search for you. Then you don't add her. If she asks about it, tell her you never use it.

I personally don't let people see my account unless they're my friend. There are also ways to prevent people searching for you on FB.

You're going to have a difficult time with women and people in general if you constantly feel the need to tell them what they want to hear to avoid any kind of negative emotions. You're going to upset people once in a while, and you need to learn to live with that.
Very good point. Coming off a hard hitting dumping dished out by my ex I reflected and realised how Im always so concerned with trying to create situations and outcomes that will be positive for other people when all that was doing was making me miserable, an easy target and actually not so great for other people because like you said - I was lying; I.don't want her on my FB.

That's why Im on SS! I need to learn and evolve.

But as for now.... I'll just ring her tomorrow and let her know I couldn't find her unless I should just man up and say the truth.
 

Desdinova

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If I were you, I wouldn't bring up the fb subject. Why must we make a social networking site such a high priority in our lives?

I keep it for just that - social networking and even use it for social proof. It shouldn't be such an important issue that you need to call her and talk about it. If you're having conversations about fb issues then you need to make your conversations more interesting. Tease her about things she does and have fun with her personality. Talk about funny things you've seen in public and funny things that you've done. Keep the conversation interesting and fun. You're not having a business meeting, you're dating a woman. The most basic way to interact with an attractive woman is to talk to her like she's your best friend, but add some kino into your interaction with her.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

shyguy32

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Easiest solution is to get rid of Facebook. I did that over a year ago, it seems to suck you in.
 
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-you lost a bet, so you had to delete your FB?
-wicked exam coming up you need to focus?
-your account got hacked and had to be deleted / reset etc.,?
-forgot your password?
 

For_F

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Desdinova said:
If I were you, I wouldn't bring up the fb subject. Why must we make a social networking site such a high priority in our lives?

I keep it for just that - social networking and even use it for social proof. It shouldn't be such an important issue that you need to call her and talk about it. If you're having conversations about fb issues then you need to make your conversations more interesting. Tease her about things she does and have fun with her personality. Talk about funny things you've seen in public and funny things that you've done. Keep the conversation interesting and fun. You're not having a business meeting, you're dating a woman. The most basic way to interact with an attractive woman is to talk to her like she's your best friend, but add some kino into your interaction with her.
She text messaged me about the FB stuff after I called her. My former self would have added her asap but I'm really trying out new things now. I guess that's why I've made a meal out of this. You changed my mind - I'll ring her tonight and just talk and not bring up FB. Almost guaranteed that she'll mention it or text me again, maybe I look shady to her lol?
 

For_F

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shyguy32 said:
Easiest solution is to get rid of Facebook. I did that over a year ago, it seems to suck you in.

Been contemplating this for months.
 

For_F

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talented_beginner said:
-you lost a bet, so you had to delete your FB?
-wicked exam coming up you need to focus?
-your account got hacked and had to be deleted / reset etc.,?
-forgot your password?

I really don't want to be scrambling for excuses. She's bound to have either a mutual friend or someone who knows I have FB. I don't think further lying will get me in bed with her because she seems like one of the most suspicious and curious girls I've met in a while. If I didn't fancy her I would say it's too much hassle and start new with another but it's good learning experience for me.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

For_F

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talented_beginner said:
-you lost a bet, so you had to delete your FB?
-wicked exam coming up you need to focus?
-your account got hacked and had to be deleted / reset etc.,?
-forgot your password?

I really don't want to be scrambling for excuses. She's bound to have either a mutual friend or someone who knows I have FB. I don't think further lying will get me in bed with her because she seems like one of the most suspicious and curious girls I've met in a while. If I didn't fancy her I would say it's too much hassle and start new with another but it's good learning experience for me.
 

For_F

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shyguy32 said:
Easiest solution is to get rid of Facebook. I did that over a year ago, it seems to suck you in.

Been contemplating this for months.
 

incognito42

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You told her you have one and you'll add her, so you have to now

You should've said "I don't do fb, no time for it". If she really pressed you for your last name because she didnt believe you, you could've said you have one but you're never on there. I've never had an issue giving those answers
 

For_F

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Didn't add her and told her I couldn't find her and that whenever Im on next I'll see if she's there. She said that's fine........ Didn't get a date out of it lol.
 

Harry Wilmington

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This is an example of what I call "making a big deal out of nothing."

Hope that doesn't sound too rude, but really: it's NOT a big deal. I don't add any of the girls I'm dating to Facebook at all. If they ask about it, I give them one of 3 answers:

ANSWER #1: I've seen too many relationships go bad as a result of facebook post misinterpretations, so I make it a point not to add anyone I'm dating

ANSWER #2: I feel as though you (talking to the girl) have the right to keep some things private just as I do. I don't feel like whatever you're posting on your wall is my business and vice-versa.

ANSWER #3: I'm already friends with you in REAL life; no need for you to become a fake friend of mine on Facebook.

If they have a problem with any one of these answers, I could care less. Foot in the ground - she ain't gotta like it, but she'll at least respect it.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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