Don't think every girl HAS to like you

[ReT]

Great post, I thought of this with common sense though, sometimes you just need to read it to get it 8^).

 

[FM 3321]

Now I see why this thread got 5 stars. Great post.

 

[jason999]

Excellent advice. I think a lot of guys need to hear this kind of thing every now and again. Keeps them levelheaded.

 

[idiot_boyfriend]

Great post.

Always learn from your failures to better improve your game and life!

 

[jiza101]

Originally posted by Brak86
this is a great post. Its kind of funny, whjenever i realize that ive found a girl that isnt attracted to me, i start hating her and i usually make her upset cause i say something bad to her. I dont know why but it seems kind of relevant to this post/.

X2
This post helped me, i always wanted every chick i met to want me. Its going to be hard chaning that mind set ive had for so long, but im sure i will be able to do it.

 

[izza]

Originally posted by Mercury21
One of the biggest mistkes that aspiring djs commit, is that they think to be a true DJ, they must spark up the interest of every girl they come in contact with. Weather they actually have some interest in that girl or not, weather she is pretty or ugly...doesn't matter, they want her to like him atleast in some way. So he will try out his developing Dj techniques on her, and if she doesn't respond, he feels like a loser!

No! What you must understand first and foremost is this: Your goal is not to make the world fall in love with you. This will never happen anyway, not if you were the master of all the master Djs, all of us here rolled into one.

Thank you for this post, it was f*cking exactly what I needed to hear today.

I had no idea the success rate was so low - 1/3? That is such a relief, honestly!

I definitely do this all the time - I want everybody to like me, I want to be moldable to everyone, rather than molding my surroundings to my liking. What a sickening way to live life - it honestly makes me feel ill to live like this.

This post really hit home, thank you again.

--Izza

 

[griffon65]

Hey great post bro. This is a life lesson every guy should learn and keep at heart. I've noticed this same thing. At the end of the day even average girls will reject you. But do you really care if your rejected by 10 women in a day and then end up landing a date with a perfect 10? Most guys would get upset and give up after the 3rd rejection. Just keep at it and if your doing everything right then eventually you will get what you want.

 

[Oxide]

Well.. i am a conceited son of a b1tch.

I got decent looks, and an ego that demands every girl to want me. Even if i have no plans on hooking up with her, i want her to desire me.


And most of the time in my mind i believe they do. I am probably crazy and very narcisstic, but this is usually the case.

Here is something from my own notes. I wrote this after my best friend yet again stated that "Oxide thinks every girl likes him"

I can not possibly understand why so often I am viewed as the one who is not comprehending the whole sexuality thing. I am openly accused of misjudging situations even by the best of friends. It is truly shocking to me since in my mind I am positively correct, but over and over again I am subjected to heavy criticism of trying to boost my ego by thinking a woman likes me. I am not saying that I am some kind of Don Juan, but when a girl asks to see my junk as a dare, or if she says “I would so get naked right now if we went in a hot tub” to me that screams “I AM INTERESTED”. I am simply exhausted of bearing the constant criticism placed on me by my best friend. Am I the deluded one because I think the signs are there? If a woman flirts with me, is it not a sign that she is interested? Why the **** am I still being questioned, mocked, joked about when it comes to this. Would it be better if I in my heart believed that NO woman finds me attractive? How in the world would that make my life better? So here is my answer to all the accusations tossed my way – “**** OFF”. Yeah, you heard me. If I think a girl is giving me signs, then she is. If she flat out rejects me then I guess I wrong, but until then, be quiet.
I do not need this pathetic pessimism in my life. If I want to live in the clouds, let me do so. – Dec 10



Agree or disagree?

 

[izza]

Originally posted by Oxide
Well.. i am a conceited son of a b1tch.

I got decent looks, and an ego that demands every girl to want me. Even if i have no plans on hooking up with her, i want her to desire me.


And most of the time in my mind i believe they do. I am probably crazy and very narcisstic, but this is usually the case.

Here is something from my own notes. I wrote this after my best friend yet again stated that "Oxide thinks every girl likes him"

I can not possibly understand why so often I am viewed as the one who is not comprehending the whole sexuality thing. I am openly accused of misjudging situations even by the best of friends. It is truly shocking to me since in my mind I am positively correct, but over and over again I am subjected to heavy criticism of trying to boost my ego by thinking a woman likes me. I am not saying that I am some kind of Don Juan, but when a girl asks to see my junk as a dare, or if she says “I would so get naked right now if we went in a hot tub” to me that screams “I AM INTERESTED”. I am simply exhausted of bearing the constant criticism placed on me by my best friend. Am I the deluded one because I think the signs are there? If a woman flirts with me, is it not a sign that she is interested? Why the **** am I still being questioned, mocked, joked about when it comes to this. Would it be better if I in my heart believed that NO woman finds me attractive? How in the world would that make my life better? So here is my answer to all the accusations tossed my way – “**** OFF”. Yeah, you heard me. If I think a girl is giving me signs, then she is. If she flat out rejects me then I guess I wrong, but until then, be quiet.
I do not need this pathetic pessimism in my life. If I want to live in the clouds, let me do so. – Dec 10



Agree or disagree?

There is a difference between conceit and confidence. The latter is desirable the former is an imperfection. Personally, I don't care what you do, and I know that I am extremely conceited and lack humility in many aspects of my life. I have no right to judge you.

Conceit is when you feel that everyone desires you, whether or not it is the case. It is an imperfection, since there is an underlying need to feel that everyone desires you that distorts your reality into believing that everyone truly does. This can (but does not necessarily) prevent you from taking risks that might show you the reality of the situation, and can prevent you from improving yourself. The symptoms of conceit are every success being exaggerated and flaunted as proof of your desirability, at least to yourself. Extreme anger arises when reality conflicts with conceit. The belief that everyone wants you, although it may be useful for seduction, could be improved by developing true confidence, which is also useful for seduction but ultimately more realistic.

Confidence, on the other hand, is knowing that if the other person knew you, they would desire you. This is not quite the same belief as thinking that everyone already does. The latter is unrealistic - a distorted view of reality. But a confident person knows that not every person sees what is beautiful in him. There is no need to be desired by all, since a confident man knows he is desirable to those of his sort, and does not rely on the desire of others to stroke his ego. It is like the difference between a well-made house and one that is poorly constructed. For everybody on earth, rejection creates pain. A confident man can weather the storms of rejection because he has built a strong house, whereas the conceited man has a less strongly built structure of beliefs to protect him. When a man who believes everyone desires him is rejected, his imaginary reality is rejected as well. This is why his house is weaker, more easily blown by the winds or subject to leaks.

But seriously bro, life is about having fun. Which way do you enjoy life more? If you enjoy life better convinced that every girl in the world wants you, I say live that way. Screw being realistic. This belief will be your charm, your magnetism, I assure you. People who are "realistic" are the ones who never dream anyway. Quite frankly, it sounds like your good friend is jealous of your belief in your own desirability.

It is natural by the way to want everyone to want and desire you. That is a natural function of our hearts who always desire more love and wants to feel desirable, especially by people who are themselves desirable.

Personally, I feel that I can charm most people - there are some that I can't, and some that I can't anymore. That is part of life, but I don't always like it! I can charm most of the intelligent ones, and that might have to do. It's an amazing feeling when you realize that somebody absolutely hates your guts, and you couldn't care less. It's wonderfully empowering... you are free and they are still chained to their overpowering feelings. It's marvelous. I used to get my panties in a bunch (figure of speech) every time somebody didn't like me, because it just confirmed in my mind that I am an undesirable freak. The more I realize that I am desirable, the more true confidence I have, and the less I care. Now when women hate me, I ask them for kisses LOL. They get so mad, it's really too much fun. It's so funny having chicks mad at me that I'm afraid I get a little carried away insulting them! I asked this one girl that despises me for a kiss one time, she looked like she wanted to clock me. She was so mad she couldn't even look at me. I was laughing my a$$ off.

You know how these chicks are. They take themselves sooo seriously. "Like oh my god, like and then he was like 'Your hair looks funny.' So typical of Jimmy!" Chicks talk about this sh!t for hours, these princesses aren't used to guys who don't give a fig about all their drama. All right, best of luck bro.

P.S. If chicks approached me saying all those crazy things they said to you, my ego would be cloud-level for a couple weeks too.

 

[Oxide]

Izza, first of all i would like to thank you for a well thought out and constructed post, very good response!


I am not unrealistic, when i see girls in the street i don't point and say "You want me, you want me, so do you.." That is just insanity. What i DO feel, however, is that given a little time with me, a girl WILL get attracted to at least some degree. She might have a boyfriend, she might not be my type, but somewhere in her head she will consider a possibility of hooking up.

Ok, let me be very clear here - there are PLENTY of girls that i fvck up my chances with. Tons! However, i do feel that this is because things just didnt go well or i fvcked up, not really because she wasnt attracted in the first place.

I am thinking of my past experiences and honestly Izz (i like that more ) if you heard and seen all the signs i've gotten before your ego would be flying high as well. The problem is this - most of the girls who send me signs are not up to par with my standards. I dont want most of them. I want the top 5%


So, once again. The assumption that a girl is interested for me is her giving me an IOI. Not just because i wish it was so. After that it's fair game, and if i stirke out, i strike out.


The girl who said the things above was at my house for the first time. She also had a boyfriend of 6 months. Did i mention all girls are wh0res?


I really want to tighten my game to be able and close these 9-10's and not have them flake on dates. Sometimes i give up a little easy. Fvcking ego.

 

[MightyMate]

Every girl that i like has to like me. And thats how it is. Just not all of them were in bed with me.

 

[Bhekizwe]

True.Not every girl has to like a dj

 

[white cloud 8]

Originally posted by Bhekizwe
True.Not every girl has to like a dj

Wrong mentality just as i've said before, no matter how good looking you are, no matter how charming you are; You can't force a girl to like you. Attraction is a natural occurrence, if it happens, it happens, if it doesn't well then move on and find those girls who are.

 

[john_1234]

this is a great post! for me, this mentality took a very long time to develop. this is the right mentality to have and it will make you a stronger person. the best thing about this type of mentality is that you're mood won't be determined by factors outside your control; instead, you become stronger because your own mood will be determined by yourself

 

[Bonhomme]

A gal I was dating thinks Brad Pitt is "yucky."

Great post. Good to see it bumped.

 

[djbr]

The courage to approach alone makes every shot worth it.

 

[Mercury21]

Courage is the name of the game... trying to meet women without it is like trying to fly a plane with no wings. You are never going to get off the ground or go anywhere

 

[Sean O]

Great advice.

 

[MVP]

Thanks for the great tip, I gave it 5 stars. It's easy to get too serious and get all bent out of shape if one girl doesn't like you when your frame of mind is wrong. I remember in the past, I was like your AFC friends who would feel really sad when one girl didn't like me. Now, I just shrug it off. It's kind of funny actually, gives me a conversation topic, and even motivates me to go for it even more when I meet a better girl.

 

[young_gun]

This thread is awesome. Thank you so much.