"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Don't masterbate!!!!

S

Stéphane

Master Don Juan
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Anyways everyone knows that im a virgin here, and ive been trying too hard to pickup. Anyhow tonight one of my old roomates camed back in town, and she wanted to hang out with me. We had lots of fun, and then we started to have intense eye contact, we always had intense chemistry but we never acted on it.

Anyhow she`s 30 im 20, fast forward. I get her naked, im in her bed, but I cant get hard. I was able to finger but thats all I was able to do. Now I blame porn for this problem, and all the alchohol I drank. So we end up doing nothing, but she was completely understandable, and she said that she wants me to come in montreal next week, and f*ck her, but this situation really blows. As this ever happened to anyone before, and do you have any tips?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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I

-=Ice-T=-

Don Juan
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Hey Stephane, don't worry about it man everyone has performance anxiety not and then and this was going to be your first time. I suggest lay off the booze and drugs next week when you go see her. Also, definately lay off the porn for the whole week. This will definately boost the testosterone levels in your bloodstream, although a minor amount, but enough to make a difference. By the time you see her you should be thinking of nothing but sleeping with her. Just try and pretend like your actually listening to her conversations. I suggest you eat 2 bananas two hours before you actually think you will bang her and maybe a red bull as well.

Good luck man and be glad she was understanding unlike other girls.
 
S

saber

Senior Don Juan
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masterbate without porn from now on

if you quit masterbating you are gonna pop in 5 seconds of ****ing her
 
Y

young_gun

Master Don Juan
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Stop masturbating all week. You might pop fast once you get in it, but there's always time for round 2.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Iguana

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Do not watch porn for the rest of your life.

Reduce masturbation.

Start meditating.

Do not think in advance your dates, reducing anxiety.

When you are with her, admire her body, think of how hot she is, touch her, dream of ****ing her, etc. You WILL get an erection as long as you don't think of, well, getting an erection.
 
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