Don't know what I want in life

[Chamber36]

Hate to complain here guys.

I just completed a 6 month internship at a government office in the engineering department. All the dudes there were making 16.00 euro's an hour, and doing pretty boring work.

I got a Tony Robbins book, to read as I was losing my mind.

I haven't really read much in a while.

I don't feel like my life is going in the direction I want it to go.

I know every sentence here is starting with I, but I need to focus on myself.

I'm going to meet a chick on sunday and I swear I'm jealous she's in a better state of mind than I am. She plays pokemon if she wants to play pokemon, she reads plenty of books. She's hot, blonde and 25. Studying philosophy at University. Basically she doesn't seem worried about the future and lives in the now. Also she says she meditates 10 minutes, twice a day.

Me... I have 1 more year to go before I get my Bachelor's in Civil Engineering.

I was getting mega depressed at the internship working in a small government office. Man, went I went to university I was thinking about things like the Suez Canal, The Hoover dam, etc. Not street signs, brick roads, potholes and that type of thing.

So I'm back on this forum. The forum always did help me to keep a level head, and it's also helped me to develop my writing skills a little.

My situation in life is a funny one. It's so complicated. It's like I'm stuck in this sinkhole and I have to climb out all by myself. You guys have no idea.

My brother and my mom just sit at home all day long smoking. My dad died and left us an inheritance which we are managing horribly.

I have about 1 year to go until I graduate, but judging from my internship, working as a civil engineer is the very last thing I want to spend 40 hours a week doing, for the next 30 years.

So I'm reading Tony Robbins. Re-evaluating...

According to the book, the most important thing in creating change, is making decisions. In order to make a decision I need to know where I want to be in 10 years from now.

There are a few things I'd like to do. Let's try and list some possibilities:

1. Just spend all day working out, being buff, being a personal trainer, maybe training a little in martial arts. I could reach this goal if I focussed on working out and martial arts for a few years. However this is not an intellectual goal and I always considered that I had more potential than that when I first did martial arts 10 years ago.

2. Switching Major's. It's an idea that's floating in my head, because I'm less motivated than ever to finish my bachelor's degree than ever, besides the fact that I want to get it over with. I'm super interested in biology though, and psychology. I used to study "psychobiology" at the University of Amsterdam, but I simply quit that Major arbitrarily after I got a little sick and decided to just study civil engineering as it can be done more broadly across the planet.

3. Trust my gut instinct and stick with the ill-informed decision I made to study Civil Engineering and see what I can do with it.

4. Take a year off, go to Fiji, Goa, Bali, wherever and "find myself". I think I'd probably be better off doing that after I get my Engineering degree anyway. Only 1 year to go anyway.

So I'm thinking the responsible thing to do is stick with option #3. Finish the damn degree.

So what I need right now is some type of future-planning-coach, or a general life coach.

What possibilities are there for me with a bachelor's in civil engineering?

I'm hoping I could get some good advice on the forum.

There are a million idea's going through my mind as possible Master's degree's, like in the direction of management, business or real estate. Architecture also I find interesting, though I don't really do much concerning art or art history, I can appreciate a good design.

Because I want to study something I can make a lot of money on, something I can feel excited about, something I can get manic about, and feel inspired, so that I can enjoy making money and working together with people.

So this is my problem right now.

Thank you guys for reading, if it's come this far, I'm curious to read any responses.

 

[Billtx49]

You can ask others personally about your life direction, or a forum about it, but ultimately the only one that has control of your life is you.
Figure out what you want, then choose a path, if it doesn’t work for you, then choose plan B and keep going…
Ultimately it all comes down to you making one decision or more. Try it…

 

[IKO69]

Finish Civil Engineering if you only have one year left. That is a damn good degree and highly in demand. If I was to have gone into one of the engineering disciplines that's the one I would've picked. You can always study biology another time while you are making bank through Civil Engineering.

I'm for you doing what you want to do however. I am in the same boat as you. I have a degree in Finance and I worked in the field for a bit.....to make a long story short after about 5 years I realized it was definitely not what I want to be doing so I enrolled in an Information Technology program with a minor in Comp Sci. I have always loved computers and it was a no brainer - in life you have to do what makes you happy, no matter the cost.

You can do the same but finish engineering while you are at it as it is great to have that under your belt. A lot of that other stuff would be easier to do on a engineer salary.

 

[Spaz]

Everyone and that includes God's, wants and needs happiness. They would go to extreme lengths to attain it.

It doesn't matter what u r gonna do or what u r doing, these r merely details towards ur end goal or the ultimate result everyone desires => happiness.

U r 2 preoccupied with details.

U must understand that the details must change from time 2 time to suit ur happiness.

U must understand that doing the opposite creates unhappiness and ultimately kills a man's passion. Without passion u cannot be great. 2 be great u need 2 hv passion and effectiveness.

Greatness(happiness) = Passion + Effectiveness


Would a masters degree makes u any happier ?

Does completing ur degree makes u any happier ?

Would travelling 2 bali make u any happier ?

My advice is find something that u can feel passionate abt, and it will be a rewarding experience that puts u on the path towards general happiness.

 

[The Diver]

My Ex brother in low study Civil Engineering ( at the age of 40 ! )found a job in a mining company in Western Australia, and after a few short years already making six figures. He said he likes the job.
I assume the mining company is recruiting only the best as he was one of the tops in his class and said other, who was an average student, wasn't so lucky as him.

 

[R.U.G.]

OP, what do you want to do with your life? Women are fickle and do not generally plan for tomorrow. They live for the here and now. That is why that woman can play Pokemon when she wants (little old for it, no?) and not give a second thought about it. You do not need a life coach. You need to look in yourself and say what do I want out of life.

Here's some perspective. I grew up pretty poor. We had issues keeping the lights on and utilities running. With five mouths to feed, I can imagine the pressure that was on my father's shoulders. I made it clear to myself that I refused to allow myself to be put in that position. I did go to college (waste of money), but I started a few successful businesses. Do I enjoy them? Well, one of them, I enjoy very much, but it doesn't pay much. The other, is just a headache, but does very well (knock on wood). The point I am trying to relay is that you need to look at your own situation and put together a plan of action. Tony Robbins or any other life coach is not going to help. He's good at asking questions that you should already be asking yourself. What are these questions? Well, let's jump down the rabbit hole and explore.

1) What do I want to do as a career? Am I willing to not enjoy my career just to setup a financial baseline for myself in order to have money?

2) Can I make money from my passions in life? If not, can I have a normal boring career, but also pursue my passions on the side?

3) What makes me happy and puts a smile on my face?

4) How can I work and achieve my personal and professional goals in life?

5) What types of women am I attracted to?

6) Do I have the same interests as they do?

7) What can I do to better my mind and body?

8) How do I stay fulfilled and happy?

Start with those questions above and expand. These are not one word answers and can change over time. Only you have these answers. Not Tony Robbins. Not any of those other TV and Youtube gurus. No one knows what's in your mind but you.

 

[Soflobro#3]

I can relate to this post quite a bit. To a point where I don't want to invest to much into anything because what if I do and it turns out to not be what i wanted? This is probably one of my biggest issues. But i need to pick something and just go with it.

 

[greatsnake]

Work on yourself.

 

[speed dawg]

Me... I have 1 more year to go before I get my Bachelor's in Civil Engineering.

I was getting mega depressed at the internship working in a small government office. Man, went I went to university I was thinking about things like the Suez Canal, The Hoover dam, etc. Not street signs, brick roads, potholes and that type of thing.

Does the Suez Canal and Hoover Dam still get you excited? If so, stick with CE. Any way you go, you need to finish that degree, you're too close not to do that. Passions are great, but if you are passionate about something that's not needed in the marketplace, it doesn't matter.

You worked for the government. Of course that will be boring. You need to get an entry level job with a BIG civil engineering firm, if you want to do big projects. There's no way around that.

https://www.ranker.com/list/civil-engineering-companies/reference

There's also the construction field. Would you rather build stuff instead of design it? Go search out contractors.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Hate to complain here guys.

I just completed a 6 month internship at a government office in the engineering department. All the dudes there were making 16.00 euro's an hour, and doing pretty boring work.

I got a Tony Robbins book, to read as I was losing my mind.

I haven't really read much in a while.

I don't feel like my life is going in the direction I want it to go.

I know every sentence here is starting with I, but I need to focus on myself.

I'm going to meet a chick on sunday and I swear I'm jealous she's in a better state of mind than I am. She plays pokemon if she wants to play pokemon, she reads plenty of books. She's hot, blonde and 25. Studying philosophy at University. Basically she doesn't seem worried about the future and lives in the now. Also she says she meditates 10 minutes, twice a day.

Me... I have 1 more year to go before I get my Bachelor's in Civil Engineering.

I was getting mega depressed at the internship working in a small government office. Man, went I went to university I was thinking about things like the Suez Canal, The Hoover dam, etc. Not street signs, brick roads, potholes and that type of thing.

So I'm back on this forum. The forum always did help me to keep a level head, and it's also helped me to develop my writing skills a little.

My situation in life is a funny one. It's so complicated. It's like I'm stuck in this sinkhole and I have to climb out all by myself. You guys have no idea.

My brother and my mom just sit at home all day long smoking. My dad died and left us an inheritance which we are managing horribly.

I have about 1 year to go until I graduate, but judging from my internship, working as a civil engineer is the very last thing I want to spend 40 hours a week doing, for the next 30 years.

So I'm reading Tony Robbins. Re-evaluating...

According to the book, the most important thing in creating change, is making decisions. In order to make a decision I need to know where I want to be in 10 years from now.

There are a few things I'd like to do. Let's try and list some possibilities:

1. Just spend all day working out, being buff, being a personal trainer, maybe training a little in martial arts. I could reach this goal if I focussed on working out and martial arts for a few years. However this is not an intellectual goal and I always considered that I had more potential than that when I first did martial arts 10 years ago.

2. Switching Major's. It's an idea that's floating in my head, because I'm less motivated than ever to finish my bachelor's degree than ever, besides the fact that I want to get it over with. I'm super interested in biology though, and psychology. I used to study "psychobiology" at the University of Amsterdam, but I simply quit that Major arbitrarily after I got a little sick and decided to just study civil engineering as it can be done more broadly across the planet.

3. Trust my gut instinct and stick with the ill-informed decision I made to study Civil Engineering and see what I can do with it.

4. Take a year off, go to Fiji, Goa, Bali, wherever and "find myself". I think I'd probably be better off doing that after I get my Engineering degree anyway. Only 1 year to go anyway.

So I'm thinking the responsible thing to do is stick with option #3. Finish the damn degree.

So what I need right now is some type of future-planning-coach, or a general life coach.

What possibilities are there for me with a bachelor's in civil engineering?

I'm hoping I could get some good advice on the forum.

There are a million idea's going through my mind as possible Master's degree's, like in the direction of management, business or real estate. Architecture also I find interesting, though I don't really do much concerning art or art history, I can appreciate a good design.

Because I want to study something I can make a lot of money on, something I can feel excited about, something I can get manic about, and feel inspired, so that I can enjoy making money and working together with people.

So this is my problem right now.

Thank you guys for reading, if it's come this far, I'm curious to read any responses.

My father gave me Awaken the giant within by Anthony Robbins. It changed my life. I became a reader. It helped me make changes and flip the script on my programming be it my DNA or social conditioning.


Finish the book. Try everything. Do what works. Discard the rest as he recommended. You can come back at it years later. A great read for you is Way of the Superior man by David Deida. Its ideal given the girlie man society and the feminine imperative pathology we're bombarded by. You want purpose and passion. Its what you call All In on and you get inside that lane win/lose/draw!

Meditate. Go into nature. Take a vaca. Peru tea ceremony with shamans. Seek self knowledge. Know thy self. Put time in on what it is you are great at.

 

[Chamber36]

Thanks.

Been hitting the gym like crazy. Bought myself an awesome leather jacket. Feel like a million bucks now.

Gotta embrace the mania.

One quote I wanna stick somewhere, if not on the wall in my room, is this:

No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.” ― Socrates

The ancients had a lot of knowledge eh.

Should finish that book, Awaken the Giant within, and then move on to Meditations, I think, by Marcus Aurelius.

This manic phase is great, lol. I just need to make sure to stick with it somehow, and not forget my responsibilities. And finish those books. It's a shame I don't always finish books. Tony Robbins probably is one of the best to read for me now though. Relevant to modern times, etc.

Take it easy bro's. I'll make sure to keep posting.

PS. Just completed day 8 of Arnold's program Blueprint to cut. i already did it 2 years ago, so I am modifying it a bit. Mostly leg day and arm day are being modified. Back and chest I'll just try to lower the amount of sets and also lower the rest periods to keep it more intense.

So tomorrow is leg day, the worst.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Thanks.

Been hitting the gym like crazy. Bought myself an awesome leather jacket. Feel like a million bucks now.

That is fantastic. Continue to work on "self care" but refrain from the feminine imperative cuck fest of trying to be pretty. There's nothing more pathetic.

Gotta embrace the mania.

One quote I wanna stick somewhere, if not on the wall in my room, is this:

No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.” ― Socrates

Its telling as it bleeds into other areas of life.

The ancients had a lot of knowledge eh.

Should finish that book, Awaken the Giant within, and then move on to Meditations, I think, by Marcus Aurelius.

For sure. Just make moves as in, apply the wisdom.

This manic phase is great, lol. I just need to make sure to stick with it somehow, and not forget my responsibilities. And finish those books. It's a shame I don't always finish books. Tony Robbins probably is one of the best to read for me now though. Relevant to modern times, etc.

Take it easy bro's. I'll make sure to keep posting.

Its all will power. Again, it converts in other areas.

I remember the quote, "finish the job James." Alec (Golden eye)

Most men don't DJ. They may dabble in mediocre fashion. Did one approach once upon a long time ago. They aren't forged in the fire. Too busy trying to be pretty and living a Mediocre amateur hour lifestyle.

Finish the book. Hit on girls. Ho get baeeeeee. Its not about the outcome. Yes, calibrate. Yes, put best foot forward but if noob, its more important you just to it. Hardwire oneself to being a man and making moves.

PS. Just completed day 8 of Arnold's program Blueprint to cut. i already did it 2 years ago, so I am modifying it a bit. Mostly leg day and arm day are being modified. Back and chest I'll just try to lower the amount of sets and also lower the rest periods to keep it more intense.

So tomorrow is leg day, the worst.

After tony, read Total Recall. Its full of gems from Arnie.

Fun fact, he deems all means and forms of success come down to reps. Repetition. Burn it in be it cold approach. Pull. Execute. Be that guy.

 

[resilient]

Hey OP, I was in a serious rut last year. I've been working on a career transition since 2015 and still have a few more years until it's realized.

I got dumped by a main plate last year and had nothing to fall back on. I ended up failing an important prerequisite class for grad school because I couldn't function at work or online. I was spiraling and lost. I had to retake the class this year with a tutor and passed.

What drove me out of depression in feeling lonely and lost was finding a hobby that became a life saver. I took up the guitar and that helped my mind heal and find purpose. I took weekly lessons, sought out more knowledge in books, YouTube videos, Instagram guitars, and made a lot of friends with them. I was welcomed into the musician community with love and support. The confidence I gained with skill improving was a huge self-esteem boost.

Physically, I also started lifting. I went from 136->159 lbs. I did Kris Gethin's 12-week hardcore trainer then Arnold's Blueprint to Mass. I'm now doing maintenance with kickboxing and Gethin's 8-week hardcore trainer. I also had a lot of support from this forum that I'm grateful for.

My advice is stick with the gym regime, read Meditations. Find a hobby that you can be 100% passionate about. It will add character to your personality.

 

[Bible_Belt]

You mentioned martial arts, I would recommend Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. It is actually quite intellectual, when practiced at higher levels. It's a grappling chess match.

 

[IKO69]

That's your problem brother. Without a plan you have nowhere to go. I will sum it up this way, this is something that was told to me once and it made sense, - make a decision -. Take some time, however long you need to think things over and then make the decision. Once you make the decision everything sort of falls into place.

 

[sosousage]

you want to have passion, you also want your passion to bring you money fame and chicks. well thats what i want

 

[Von]

Knowing what you don't want is a step in the direction of ''knowing what you want''.

Finish your degree or transfer the credentials into a another enginerring program (if that make you can finish in 1 year into the new program.. unlikely). Finish your degree. As you finish your degree... look what ''studies'' or ''work area'' will get you to ''the dam''. I know engineers who are working on Federal Bridge, building Dams in Vietnam, construction of Mining facilities in Africa.... They the top engineer, usually top in school or top the ladder in the corporate/governement and they all started at the bottom... Millenials have to learn that people at the top started at the bottom and made it to the top... or created the top position for them (by entrepreneuship/business)

Make a list of what you love, what you don't, what you want to try and do... Make a list of your passions... find stuff that relates to it... also Time Frame it (finish degree in 1 year, martial art in 3 months, gym in 1 week).

Make a routine with something weekly ''out of the ordinary-routine''.

Usually the stuff that you enjoy the most are the ones that make time goes faster and unnoticed or the stuff you can talk ALOT ABOUT and you vibrate of energy and smile about it.

Keep in there... the last year of university is the hardest

 

[Dingo]

How old is OP ?

 

[Chamber36]

How old is OP ?

28 now. Turning 29 in November.

 

[Chamber36]

Update

My life is very much up-down-up-down right now.

I've been hitting the gym like crazy and I quit drinking and smoking about 10 days ago. I also quit smoking weed about 4 years ago, so that leaves me with 0 drugs.

Problem is, I don't have any real close friends anymore... A lot of acquaintances though. I'm still a bartender. I am simply very lonely though. I try to stay in a positive mindset. Decided today (let's not allow this decision to stay unfulfilled), that I should go to Thailand this christmas. I can then practice kickboxing there with the Thai guys for a good 2 weeks. That sounds like a fun plan and something to look forward to. In the mean time I can also practice my kickboxing here in Amsterdam until I get there. This country produces some of the best fighters in the world anyway, so it's a good place to practice, and I great activity to practice while I'm in monk mode.

Considering books - I don't really have the energy to read them. I suppose I should read a little about NLP, that should be the best for me. Or finishing the Tony Robbins. Or just finish any book that I started.

Last saturday I invited over a chick I banged the week before for the first time. We get along fine. It was Gay Pride in the city, so we just went there to take a look. I don't really enjoy those types of people in my vicinity though, so I kind of explained to her how I don't understand why homosexuality exists from an evolutionary standpoint. Of course she's a leftist chick (25yrs, studies philosophy at Uni), and probably considers me closedminded. Which I suppose I am. I have a lot of issues to be honest. I love my people, I love my race, I love my history. I want to be proud of it. But in the mean time, everyone else is a nihilist. If you're a leftist, we're living at the dawn of a new age. If you're more right-wing, or traditionalist, you're living to witness the dying breaths of an old one.

Anyways - I banged her after we got back. She made dinner. Then I tried to bang her again and she refused. Now the date ended on a sour note and I strongly doubt that I'll see her again. That's how things go I guess, it's a real shame. She had a sopping wet pvssy.

So I have 0 plates at the moment. Z-E-R-O. I used to enjoy a good prostitute every now and then, but still that doesn't quite excite me like it used to. Though I did meet one nice prostitute a few weeks ago, lol, over in a different city. And I was just so surprised at the apparently genuine interest she showed in me, my life, my situation. Life in Amsterdam has me so jaded and frustrated.

The internship I did between February and July has been officially completed. I received an e-mail from school that I can partake in the minor in school starting september. So I'm looking forward to doing the minor and then weight-training/kickboxing/MMA between september February next year, with a little intermezzo in Thailand if all goes well.

I'm thinking, that once I finish my engineering degree, I would be quite free, and I could potentially move to a place like Thailand and open a bar there. I could basically kickbox all week and then run the bar during the weekends. Or even run a little tiki-bar like Billy-Bob Thornton at the end of Bad Santa.

There's a lot of possibilities.

So this will be my update for today. Tomorrow I'm starting my gym schedule with legs (does this make sense lol?). Goal will be to simply become so jacked and healthy with a good cardiovascular system that I can simply bang multiple chicks at a time. Of course another important part of the issue is the mental game, which I'm lacking in quite heavily right now. But I have no idea how to really fix it. Like I said, I'm lonely and I have imposed upon myself the restriction that I cannot take any drugs or alcohol.

So what I really need is to acheive some goals and to make some gains and I suppose eventually some friends.

My friendship with my friend, a sociopathic homeless guy who is perpetually slaying pvssy, seems to be coming to an end. I was offering him a place to stay for the past few years, but I eventually made him move out because I wanted to make some rent money. Went to visit him today, he tried to MOG me by grabbing me by the neck (like you might do a younger nephew or brother I suppose), and I refused to accept that. He acted aggressively and I replied with "you must have been spending too much time on the street huh", and he got angry once more. This time I saw the plaque and grime had accumulated on his teeth, signs of actually living like a homeless person, and I just left. He borrowed my nephews PS4. So he will have to return that if there is ever going to be a reconciliation between us. Which I actually doubt at this point. After a reaction like that, I can't really trust him anymore.

So... I don't understand. There is a pattern in my life where I become friends with sociopathic dudes. Made friends with a Cuban dude who basically lost his mind one day, I almost got in a fight with him, he stole like some of my socks and left my place, never to be seen again. Also made friends with a Moroccan dude who I still to this day don't really trust. And I made friends with this mongrel of a homeless guy, who I thought would be my friend for years to come, but apparently not so.

Regular people I find somehow boring I suppose. I do feel bad that whenever I become friends and make appointments with regular goodhearted people, I miss the appointment.

I just like girls more than anything, but without any friends to have my back in between the bitches, I am left basically all alone and bored. Then I try to keep myself occupied with life-goals, so these future goals are basically all I have going for myself. If all goes well though, this contemplation, this thinking, this training, will lay the groundwork for me to start my own business one day.

Now all I need to do is graduate with the Civil Engineering degree. I can do it within 1 year from now. So cheers to that.