Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Don't jeopardize your social identity on your road to self-improvement

AmIAFC

Senior Don Juan
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Needless to say, I’ve been an organized and “scheduled” person.

I used to blow people off (e.g., co-workers and friends) whenever they invited me over to lunch or a hang-out over small stuff that weren’t important in the grand scheme of things (going to the gym, eating prepared meals every 2 hours). The fact is, I realized that I could do any of those things at any time and not suffer any setbacks whatsoever. However, I wasn’t doing that, and as a result, I’ve been jeopardizing my social identity and network on my goal to becoming a better Don.

Don’t do it.

If you’re 125 lbs. and you want to gain an extra 30 because you want to get better looks, then handle your business. But don’t let it jeopardize your relationship with your acquaintances and friends. For instance, I was strict about going to the GYM on Mondays to do bench press and upper body workouts. Unfortunately, my friends would have get-togethers on that date and would often invite me to come over to join. I kept blowing them off because I had to be “on schedule” and consistent, when in truth, I could have chosen another time of day to do the workouts.

Another example was when I was on a meal regiment. I had to eat this and this at this and this time in order to gain weight. Co-workers and acquaintances, some of whom were pretty decent looking, would come by, offering to buy me lunch or asking me to come join them. What did I keep saying? “No, I have to eat this right now” or “Maybe next time.”

Point is: The road to becoming a self-improved Don Juan will be faced with many obstacles that you should learn to bypass, but quality time with social acquaintances shouldn’t be one of them.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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ScrewIt

Master Don Juan
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you make a good point. There's nothing wrong at all in having a structured life, structure is good.

But you shouldnt be too rigid with it if you're pushing away the important people in your life. Lately i've been doing that a little, but normally i would not deny myself of a night out no matter how exhausted i would be.

Usually when someone blows someone off for an invite to hangout, normally that person does not respect you enough, or doesn't believe you're important enough. I've done my share and have had friends who've done their share...everyone's guilty. But you cant blame someone for not wanting to do something just cause it's not in their interest.

IMO , usually people that say theyre too busy to hangout or whatever are just making excuses. If it's important to you, then make the time to hangout. A lot of times, the easiest way to earn respect is to give respect.

But if you seriously are busy and cant make it, a counter offer at least shows you care.
 
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