"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Don't jeopardize your social identity on your road to self-improvement

AmIAFC

Senior Don Juan
Joined
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Needless to say, I’ve been an organized and “scheduled” person.

I used to blow people off (e.g., co-workers and friends) whenever they invited me over to lunch or a hang-out over small stuff that weren’t important in the grand scheme of things (going to the gym, eating prepared meals every 2 hours). The fact is, I realized that I could do any of those things at any time and not suffer any setbacks whatsoever. However, I wasn’t doing that, and as a result, I’ve been jeopardizing my social identity and network on my goal to becoming a better Don.

Don’t do it.

If you’re 125 lbs. and you want to gain an extra 30 because you want to get better looks, then handle your business. But don’t let it jeopardize your relationship with your acquaintances and friends. For instance, I was strict about going to the GYM on Mondays to do bench press and upper body workouts. Unfortunately, my friends would have get-togethers on that date and would often invite me to come over to join. I kept blowing them off because I had to be “on schedule” and consistent, when in truth, I could have chosen another time of day to do the workouts.

Another example was when I was on a meal regiment. I had to eat this and this at this and this time in order to gain weight. Co-workers and acquaintances, some of whom were pretty decent looking, would come by, offering to buy me lunch or asking me to come join them. What did I keep saying? “No, I have to eat this right now” or “Maybe next time.”

Point is: The road to becoming a self-improved Don Juan will be faced with many obstacles that you should learn to bypass, but quality time with social acquaintances shouldn’t be one of them.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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ScrewIt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 11, 2004
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you make a good point. There's nothing wrong at all in having a structured life, structure is good.

But you shouldnt be too rigid with it if you're pushing away the important people in your life. Lately i've been doing that a little, but normally i would not deny myself of a night out no matter how exhausted i would be.

Usually when someone blows someone off for an invite to hangout, normally that person does not respect you enough, or doesn't believe you're important enough. I've done my share and have had friends who've done their share...everyone's guilty. But you cant blame someone for not wanting to do something just cause it's not in their interest.

IMO , usually people that say theyre too busy to hangout or whatever are just making excuses. If it's important to you, then make the time to hangout. A lot of times, the easiest way to earn respect is to give respect.

But if you seriously are busy and cant make it, a counter offer at least shows you care.
 
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