Burningblue
Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 25, 2005
- Messages
- 25
- Reaction score
- 2
At the expense of my own ego I would like to share a story to hammer home the point of always being a challenge. This has all been heard before but maybe it will help someone new.
My most recent GF, who dumped me last month, was my first attempt at being a DJ. In the beginning, I played the game to the hilt. I was a challenge through and through. At the end of a date I would never suggest another date. I would let her wonder for days on end if she was ever going to see me again. On the dates, I was confident, funny, always had a fun plan, threw in some neg hits, let her do the majority of the talking, and never, EVER let her know that I was into her.
One month into the relationship, she began crying while we were kissing. She ran to the bathroom sobbing. When I asked her what was wrong she said that she was sure that I was going to leave her and she didn’t want me to go. This girl wanted me bad! I reassured her for about 20 minutes and she seemed to love me even more for it. Despite, this high interest level, I continue the game and the challenge.
Two months into the relationship we were sitting on her couch after a great day together. She starts to call me out on being such a challenge all the time. She tells me that she doesn’t hear from me very much and that it concerns her. She worries about me being late for dates. She wonders why I don’t say much about my feelings. She says “this is just kind of scary for me. It’s been a long time since I’ve liked someone this much. Actually, I think it’s more than that….but I’m holding back”. It sounded like an “I love you” to me. I let my guard down and told her how much I cared and that I wanted a serious relationship. I started giving compliments, etc.
The very next week she was distant. She said that she was nervous about being in a relationship. She says that dating is more serious these days because she is “looking for someone”. She said that she didn’t know if it was right. The next week she seemed happy again but then the following week she, once again, says that she doesn’t want to jump in with both feet. I AFC and become visibly upset. She knows that she has the control now. I stop believing in the DJ version of manhood. I think that I have to supplicate to get back into her heart. I throw away everything I’ve learned. I just keep giving the compliments, telling her that I care, even wrote her a guitar song. Her interest seems to go up and down for a few weeks. One week she is unsure. The next week she invites me to meet her parents. The next week I give her a compliment and she says she “doesn’t deserve that”. I avoid talking about it and don’t even ask her what she means by that. Actually, I’m still kind of wondering if she was cheating. Her interest level seems to be going up and down for weeks. Finally, she dumps me. “I care about you but it’s not forever” she says.
So, in the space of a couple weeks I went from her sobbing and begging to be with me to her having zero interest in me. Do NOT stop being a challenge…..even when you are winning.
My most recent GF, who dumped me last month, was my first attempt at being a DJ. In the beginning, I played the game to the hilt. I was a challenge through and through. At the end of a date I would never suggest another date. I would let her wonder for days on end if she was ever going to see me again. On the dates, I was confident, funny, always had a fun plan, threw in some neg hits, let her do the majority of the talking, and never, EVER let her know that I was into her.
One month into the relationship, she began crying while we were kissing. She ran to the bathroom sobbing. When I asked her what was wrong she said that she was sure that I was going to leave her and she didn’t want me to go. This girl wanted me bad! I reassured her for about 20 minutes and she seemed to love me even more for it. Despite, this high interest level, I continue the game and the challenge.
Two months into the relationship we were sitting on her couch after a great day together. She starts to call me out on being such a challenge all the time. She tells me that she doesn’t hear from me very much and that it concerns her. She worries about me being late for dates. She wonders why I don’t say much about my feelings. She says “this is just kind of scary for me. It’s been a long time since I’ve liked someone this much. Actually, I think it’s more than that….but I’m holding back”. It sounded like an “I love you” to me. I let my guard down and told her how much I cared and that I wanted a serious relationship. I started giving compliments, etc.
The very next week she was distant. She said that she was nervous about being in a relationship. She says that dating is more serious these days because she is “looking for someone”. She said that she didn’t know if it was right. The next week she seemed happy again but then the following week she, once again, says that she doesn’t want to jump in with both feet. I AFC and become visibly upset. She knows that she has the control now. I stop believing in the DJ version of manhood. I think that I have to supplicate to get back into her heart. I throw away everything I’ve learned. I just keep giving the compliments, telling her that I care, even wrote her a guitar song. Her interest seems to go up and down for a few weeks. One week she is unsure. The next week she invites me to meet her parents. The next week I give her a compliment and she says she “doesn’t deserve that”. I avoid talking about it and don’t even ask her what she means by that. Actually, I’m still kind of wondering if she was cheating. Her interest level seems to be going up and down for weeks. Finally, she dumps me. “I care about you but it’s not forever” she says.
So, in the space of a couple weeks I went from her sobbing and begging to be with me to her having zero interest in me. Do NOT stop being a challenge…..even when you are winning.
) just remember that even if you make a mistake like dumping your guts you can always get the "power" back.