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Don't buy her gifts! Here's why.

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Don Juan
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Most guys think women want to be bought gifts. Most people on this forum probably already know that that's not true. However, what makes this different from others is that girls KNOW this isn't true!

Most girls will actually say they don't like it when guys buy them gifts, take them to fancy restaurants, take them on nice vacations, etc, the reason being that they view this as manipulative. (This is not something they feel "deep down." This is something that they are conscious of and have said.) When guys get gifts, they typically view it as an expression of care, friendliness, or love; a nice way to express how someone feels about you, and typically they will feel more affection (whether friendly or romantic) for that person after receiving the gift, and want to do things for that person in return. Because of this they think girls are the same way... but they're not.

When girls get gifts, they get suspicious. "Why is this guy just buying me gifts out of nowhere? Why is he taking me on a trip? What's in it for him?" That soon leads them to think that guys who do this are trying to manipulate them in some way, or trying to compensate for something. Either way, not good. So she gets freaked out. Some will leave right then. Others will decide to manipulate you "in return." She decides, "He's trying to manipulate me! Well, two can play at this game."

To "win" the game, she will accept every gift and get everything she can from you... until it's time to have sex. Then she pulls the "Let's just be friends." In her mind, you were trying to manipulate her, and she beat you at your own game... "no guy tries to manipulate me into having sex with him."

There are a few exceptions to this rule... a notable one is the gold digger. The gold digger, instead of just saying let's just be friends, will either say she won't have sex until marriage (in the hopes that you'll marry her) or have sex with you. If you got a girl by buying her gifts and taking her on nice vacations, beware. She waits until you are married, and likely stays with you too, unless you lose your money, in which case, she's gone.

This is why buying gifts doesn't work. Women don't want them. This is actually a positive thing: you don't have to spend all of your money on gifts, and you get the girl. :)
 
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madgame

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Yes. Even if you've been with the girl for 3 years and in a happy relationship, you should be a MAN. That means "Dont buy her gifts!". She'll freak the fvck out and "act" like she's going to leave you, but you got to remain strong, confident, a MAN (it only makes her attract to you even more, because shell wonder "wow this guy is mysterious. I've been with him for 3 years, but I still dont know him fully?!").

Do not buy her a gift, instead be ****y and funny and tell her "You should be buying me gifts. I'm the Prize". Trust me guys, girls love this. They might act like they hate you and break up with you and never give it up to you again, but deep down they love it!!!

Anybody else got the feeling this whole "game" **** is sometimes being taken a bit too far on this forum and makes ppl look like male readers of the cosmopolitan?

PS: no offense in particular to you, I could have written this under many other posts, I guess
 

Bible_Belt

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Don't buy her gifts...as bribes.

Gifts are ok:

1 - After she has had sex with you

2 - When the gift is small and thoughtful, the point being to show that you remember what she says when she talks about what she likes

3 - When the amount of money you spend on the gift is no more than you would casually spend on yourself. Expensive gifts are almost always a bad idea.
 

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Bible_Belt said:
Don't buy her gifts...as bribes.

Gifts are ok:

1 - After she has had sex with you

2 - When the gift is small and thoughtful, the point being to show that you remember what she says when she talks about what she likes

3 - When the amount of money you spend on the gift is no more than you would casually spend on yourself. Expensive gifts are almost always a bad idea.
Right, I think it was implied from my post (talking about trips, fancy dinners, etc) that I mean you shouldn't buy large gifts to try to impress a girl and win her over. Once you've had sex you've already won her over so it doesn't really matter as much.

My previous post was in reference to madgame, by the way.
 

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GuanYu

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What if a woman is constantly buying the guy stuff, does the same apply?
 

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GuanYu said:
What if a woman is constantly buying the guy stuff, does the same apply?
Hm, I've actually never heard of a situation like this, but if she's constantly buying you stuff, then sure go ahead and get her something in return, because by buying you things she's showing you that you already have her affection so it won't come across as you trying to do it to win her over.
 

THE_ADDMAN

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give gifts when she isnt expecting it, and make it something she'll actually appreciate (aka put some thought into it. pay attention to her interests)

also, dont do it too much or the gift-giving will lose value, and she will come to expect it. game over

Also, DONT USE IT TO GET SOMETHING
 

intrextrovert

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Um for those guys who are newer, I wouldn't exactly say "you should buy me gifts. i'm the prize"... if that works for you guys great, but I can see that being creepy in so many ways.

As far as I can tell, as long as the gifts are small and not bribes gifts are fine with me.
 

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intrextrovert said:
Um for those guys who are newer, I wouldn't exactly say "you should buy me gifts. i'm the prize"... if that works for you guys great, but I can see that being creepy in so many ways.

As far as I can tell, as long as the gifts are small and not bribes gifts are fine with me.
I never suggested asking a girl to buy you gifts.
 

GuanYu

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I was asking if the chick is always buying the guy stuff(like her boyfriend) are the chances high that she's doing it to cover up for something? Should men be suspicious of those type of women?
 

Mr_rogers

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MisterMcGee said:
give her multiple orgasms in return
:crackup:

In all seriousness though, I agree with the others in this thread saying that giving gifts to women is fine as long as they're smaller, personally "tailored" to her interests (no, not custom-fit clothes or something, but something that she'd appreciate because it's unique to her personality). Don't do it too often either or she might start thinking of you as a walking wallet.
 

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Mr Autobahn

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Bible_Belt said:
Don't buy her gifts...as bribes.

Gifts are ok:

1 - After she has had sex with you

2 - When the gift is small and thoughtful, the point being to show that you remember what she says when she talks about what she likes

3 - When the amount of money you spend on the gift is no more than you would casually spend on yourself. Expensive gifts are almost always a bad idea.
When gifts are appropriate, then they work very well. Guys need to stop watching or reading those advertisements of other guys giving pleasantly surprised women, expensive gifts. It doesn't work in the real world.
 

Bible_Belt

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Mr Autobahn said:
Guys need to stop watching or reading those advertisements of other guys giving pleasantly surprised women, expensive gifts. It doesn't work in the real world.

Agreed! Every kiss does not begin at Kay's.
 

nismo-4

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Bible_Belt said:
Agreed! Every kiss does not begin at Kay's.
THAT IS SOLID GOLD!:crackup: :crackup:

Also, Mr. Autobahn had a great answer.

Seriously, never buy gifts for a girl unless she truly deserves them. Buying gifts is a supplication move. If you are in no relationship with the girl, then save your money. Go buy a Nintendo Wii game. BTW, that buy gifts sh*t for a girl then get her only works in the movies. Real life and the media are two different things and we are in real life.
 
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