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Don't Bully Incels

corrector

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Do you deny that there are INCELs who post online, expressing confusion that anyone of their obvious physical beauty could be rejected by women? I think it embodies a type of dysmorphia, where the sufferer can neither see himself nor others correctly. If the self-described INCEL is as attractive as he thinks, then he must acknowledge that it is hisown behavior creating the obstacle to his success with women, but these very same INCELs refuse to take any responsibility for their own behavior, and instead, blame the world for damning them, and women for rejecting. This is why I go out of my way to point out that I'm apparently nowhere near as beautiful as these confused INCELs, but have none of these problems.
I really don't know enough to deny since I don't hang around incel boards. Of course I'm not going to side with or agree with every post that's on there. I'm ethnic so the racism or race aspect wouldn't resonate with me. I really have zero interest in such places so I would not know or care about what a self-described incel would post online. Do you visit these boards? I thought they were dismantled.

ShePays said:
When you tell me that you didn't even talk to any of the girls over thanksgiving, because they already had boyfriends, well that's your problem. Are these other guys such tools that they'd take you out back and give you a tuneup, for even talking to their girls? I doubt it. That just seems like an excuse, to me. You can talk to girls with boyfriends and husbands. In fact, it's good practice, because you're under zero pressure to get a date, and if they really like you, they may introduce you to their unattached girlfriends. That's social networking, my friend.
It's the way the seating was arranged. Also there is confusion within that family. The wife and husband are at each other's throats and I heard some really bad reports about the lady so I'm like.....I don't know about this. I did shake everyone's hand and hug at least a couple of women there.

I don't think I'm going out of my way to be not social with taken types of women. However, suppose I start developing feelings or something? That could be a disaster. I tried this with a married lady back a decade ago and I started hugging and kissing her on her cheek and she warmed up with me, and even casually suggested setting up a hotel meet (but she may not have really meant it, but I thought the suggestion was odd). So, a friendly married woman and a desperately girl-hungry single guy is a BAD idea, and women who have boyfriends might be a second place issue to that. Suppose that woman happens to be the one where there is a soulmate connection and she's bored and frustrated with her marriage? That's a risk that should be avoided, especially if I had a close brush in the past?

ShePays said:
Here's my question for you: if you want to remain a virgin until you're married, why do you even call yourself an INCEL? That sounds like voluntary celibacy to me. Did I miss something?
I'm not married now or have any prospects to get married to. I was divorced about 5 years ago.
 
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Serenity

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But the key here is how often do you find one who is truly willing to put the work in?

Most believe they shouldn’t have to, and most to a point they will be arrogant, dismissive and highly argumentative to any help/advice offered. Many draw the ire they receive because of it.
Yes!!! This is exactly why I don't like incels at all. They pose their problem, guys naturally chime in with their advice genuinely trying to improve these poor guys lives, but what does the incel do? Shoot it all down, continue with their self-pity and blame women for their own shortcomings.

One of the first things I learned when entering this scene was that I can't change the world, but I can change myself. Incels have that flipped around, they don't believe they can change themselves and so they try to change the world with their b!tching and whining.

There have been a number of users on this forum who I have classified as hopeless cases, they simply can't be helped. I might reply to them, but the best I'm hoping to come from it is that the conversation is useful to someone else reading the thread.

I just can't get myself to respect an incel, I regard them the same way as flat earthers.
 

corrector

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how old are you, late twenties, early thirties?
Forties.

ShePays said:
are you economically independent? Do you have a good job, pay your own bills, have your own place?
Not really.

ShePays said:
you're afraid to talk to single women because they may not like you? what, you are afraid to talk to married women because they may leave their husbands for you?
I don't get traction with single women, I never said I'm afraid to talk with them. If I get a solid IOI or non-verbal cue that is okay to approach and talk with them, or if it is a socially appropriate environment conducive to meeting people (i.e. which is a tall order under "day-game" because normally women are going about their own business or are on their smartphone, etc...). I'm not interested in getting traction with married women so an overly nice or flirtatious and inviting married woman, applying the same standard to single women, would not mean the same thing to me.

I'm quite sure, if I was in another country, like Brazil, the DR, or some other country where it's socially acceptable for strangers, especially "boy meet girl" scenarios to occur naturally or is in fact part of the culture unless you are anti-social, then I'd probably find its easier to meet and talk to women more naturally.

ShePays said:
there is absolutely no social requirement for you to kiss and hug on every woman you meet.
I don't do that. If I don't talk to women much, what makes you think I would do that. This is fantasy.

ShePays said:
I absolutely never initiate either, although I will reciprocate a hug, and will turn a cheek to a kiss,
I meant kissing on cheek. Sorry for the confusion. She put her finger on her cheek to encourage me to kiss her there otherwise I probably would never have even kissed her if she never encouraged it.

ShePays said:
if it's not from a woman with who I am in an intimate relationship. I am not a very touchy feely guy, and guys who want to hug and kiss on everybody all the time always strike me as a little gay.
I'm not into kissing or hugging everybody either. When I was yonger I wanted to hug women.

ShePays said:
you are under no obligation to allow a woman with whom you are not in an intimate relationship to kiss you on the mouth. If she insists on kissing you, offer her your cheek. you are also under no obligation to return a kiss, and i recommend that you don't.
That doesn't happen with me. There is a misunderstanding if I accidentally said that concerning the married women 10 years ago, and that was only her cheek and she was friendly. I operate on a level that sounds like legal precedents with past interaction with women, so something that's isolated in the distant past may give the wrong impression that I'm getting traction with women or that its routine, but it's more treated in memory like a matter of fact that it happened once and that a boundary or sorts was crossed and that's not happening again since I rarely make those types of mistakes twice.

Don't confuse an isolated incident 10 years ago, or an isolated relationship, or an isolated marriage as actual traction. They are way to isolated to mean anything that would sound like a pattern or that there is real traction.


ShePays said:
I have never been curious enough to visit an incel chat board, I see enough of them all over the internet ...the incel stragglers, I guess. If they're racists, as you imply, why do you identify with them?
I am not that involved within the church to relate to looking for a mentor. Too many issues in life to worry about such things.

Ethnicel is a subcategory definition of incel that claims that white people can't really be incels because they can get an Asian or Black girlfriend if they are that hard-up. So true incels must be non-white people. I'm non-white so I must be more of an incel then these racist who have tarnished and hijacked the term. If you want to call me an ethnicel instead then be my guest, although, not allot of people believe in that either. So, I don't identify with them or even if it's not a race issue, I don't mesh with them because we are of vastly different spirits and would be at each others throats. In, fact, I was banned from an incel board about 15 years ago because my views are radically different from theirs and I don't share in their sense of hopeless or frustration about their situation. They are hopeless or frustrated because they reject God, not because they are sexless. I don't reject God or have any disposition where I've given up faith.
Therefore, I can never be in the same wavelength, even if you subtract the "race" component. I feel more comfortable with the wavelenth of this board even if I'm not getting laid or traction then in an incel board as people here are simply not as miserable.
 

Serenity

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I agree with that shrink. INCEL is just another classication of mental illness. A virgin is just someone who hasn't had sex, but INCEL is a mental disorder. I suppose, when someone insists on identifying his virginity as "INCEL," the help he needs isn't how to pickup girls, but how to pickup a phone and call a professional.

I was called a "bully," and tried a softer approach, but these kids have more excuses than stray dogs have fleas. I give up. Incel counseling services are permanently terminated.
It definitely is a mental illness. They're in complete denial and extremely defensive. I know only one person who can help the incel out of their misery, that's themselves. Trying to help them is utterly pointless, nobody can convince them to listen to advice except themselves. They're better of if ignored until they hit the true rock bottom where they make the ultimate choice, kill themselves or change themselves.

Calling them incels is too generous, it just validates them. If we call them involuntary celibates we're enabling them by feeding their delusion that their situation is involuntary. We really should call them something more accurate.
 

corrector

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I don't know you, but i feel for you. I assume you're an only child raised by a single mother. I'm sure that's the most vulnerable category of boys, in general, but to this hopeless mind prison(intellectual-cell?) in particular.

You're in your 40s, though, and have been nursing this darkness since your 20s, if not earlier. Do you really want to be in your 60s, alone, your mother no longer in need of your company, because she's dead, and yourself socially isolated, and financially dependent?

You have a social handicap, not a physical deformity, not a curse...unless being the only child of a single mother counts as a curse, which it might. In any event, you never developed social skills, and you retreated into Hollywood's excrement and Silicon Valley's web of fiber optic sewer pipes. It's your perception of reality that is deformed, not you, and not the world. But, if you don't correct your vision, ASAP, you'll soon find yourself hopelessly isolated.

You're not a boy, anymore. When you were, you should've had a father to save you from this path. But, no-one is going to rescue you, now, certainly not your mother, who depends on your dependence on her. That's what single mother's do to their only sons. She will resist your independence, because the most important thing to her isn't your happiness, sadly, but preventing you abandoning her, by depriving you of the skills to replace her. She has made you financially and emotionally dependent upon her, and you should probably hate her for what she's done to you, but hate is unnecessary. All that is necessary is to understand the source of your injury wasn't the world, or women in general, but your own mother, who did it on instinct, not even on purpose, because a woman needs a man, and she locked you into a perverse relationship with her, one you couldn't escape, one in which you were her man, too dependent to ever leave her, the way your father did, because he didn't need her. He left her because he could. But, he left you, too. He left you to her. No-one is coming to rescue you....not unless you do it yourself.

You're in a mind prison, but you can't think your way out of it. The key isn't what you think it is. It isn't sex, and it certainly isn't another woman, but it is action.
My dad never left my mother. She never made me dependent on her. Too many bad breaks and setbacks that have nothing to do with her and I aint going to live in the streets. I can leave to visit a cinema if she is interfering with my home cinema space. This has not happened so far. If you want to call movies or moving picture art excrement then that is too bad. I love art and motion pictures is art with me no matter what you call it. I look at all types of independent and foreign movies as well not just Hollywood made films (and not all of them either). Either way I have other issues to worry about rather than project to 60 years. Suppose the rapture happens before that? If you think I am just watching movies all the time that is very inaccurate. I have to fight (figuratively spreaking) to make time to even watch anything. With a choice beteen trusting God to come through (ie to deal with any issue of worrying) vs lowering my health by worrying about situations and things beyond my control I choose the former.
 
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corrector

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If your dad never left. Then, he's still there. Lucky you. You should ask him for advice. I'm sure he'd be happy to help.
You really do not know the set-up here, lol! I'm virtually managing everything in this place.

ShePays said:
Binging on Walking Dead marathons isn't exactly the healthiest pastime for an agoraphobic.
I'm only on Season Two, Episode Two. Hardly would call that binge-watching. I don't watch it at home and would only start an episode if it's connected to an external wi-fi source which may stream 15-25 minutes to start up an episode. Probably started a few months ago with the series. But, I did mention bingwatch on the post, I should have said, watching an episode of it or starting an episode.

ShePays said:
Most of Hollywood's product is $h!t, and distorts natural human social interaction, not what someone needing to develop social skills needs, more unrealistic expectations.
Aren't you the same guy that recommended taking improv classes and now you are attacking acting? Okay.

ShePays said:
As far as the internet goes, it's the last place a person with social anxiety should be whiling away the hours. I would think your 15+ years of wallowing in the depths of incel darkness would be sufficient evidence of that.
What would you expect me to be doing on the internet to be "whiling away the hours"? I think journal writing and reading books take up more time but then again you don't know what I'm doing with my time and are just speaking in general for a stereotypical incel of course.
 
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You really do not know the set-up here, lol! I'm virtually managing everything in this place.



I'm only on Season Two, Episode Two. Hardly would call that binge-watching. I don't watch it at home and would only start an episode if it's connected to an external wi-fi source which may stream 15-25 minutes to start up an episode. Probably started a few months ago with the series. But, I did mention bingwatch on the post, I should have said, watching an episode of it or starting an episode.



Aren't you the same guy that recommended taking improv classes and now you are attacking acting? Okay.



What would you expect me to be doing on the internet to be "whiling away the hours"? I think journal writing and reading books take up more time but then again you don't know what I'm doing with my time and are just speaking in general for a stereotypical incel of course.
I would suggest picking up some "hands on" crafts. Something where you can see your productivity go to work.

A man needs to feel like he's good for something.

If you're just jacking off and watching shows, you're staying in a comfy bubble

And I would also make a point of talking to people when you're buying supplies. Or at the gas station. Or getting groceries.

There's something about feeling like you made an effort, that translates into your personality.

You suddenly start looking around more confidently. You begin to look people in the eye.

I've said this a lot recently, but walking with swagger makes a huge difference. Make your strides longer and let your arms swing more freely. Act like you own the place.

Tell me you don't feel better after.
 
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user43770

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Hell, even point at people and give them a smile, like "I see you sweetheart, I'm going to get some sour cream for my nachos. Fvck you."
 
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user43770

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We aren't all born Chads. If you're normal, then you need to stand out in some way.

Yeah, fvck what stormrider and spaz say, you actually have to make an effort. And you will get shot down more times than not. But you can learn to take pride from the rejection. You can take pride in the fact that you're willing to do what 90% of men don't have the balls to.

You against the world. And fvck them if they don't like it. They should take a walk in your shoes.
 

corrector

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I would encourage you to stop consuming, television, movies, and porn, and to stay off of the internet, for 30 days(for starters). I would encourage you to completely refrain from masturbation, for the same period. I would encourage you to enroll in some type of activity requiring daily human interaction(in the REAL fvcking world, please) with people more socially competent that your fellow "in-cells"(as in, dwellers in mental prisons of your own making).
I have already refrained from masturbation for around 30 days in the month of August, as usual there are no-porn zones within the year to contrast with other zones which completely refute any difference existing at all (i.e. except the brief withdrawal symptoms that occur within a chaste-sector). Consumption of television shows and movies (via streaming or DVD/Blu-Rays) are limited to 20 minutes per day if it's fiction, and 45 minutes if it's documentary except if I'm outside of the house with my folks in which case restrictions are lifted. I give exceptions to Christian movies or children's animated cartoons and if the rules are broken then the breach is noted. If there is two consecutive breaches then the third day would be a fast. There haven't been two consecutive breaches in a while.

However, it sounds like you are challenging me to a 30 day fast. This is the only aspect of what you said that I can only take notice of, especially if you are a non-believer, challenging me to go on a fast for the Lord, then this is something that has to take notice.

I give time to the Lord. I don't feel there is any idolatry going on with these other issues. I don't feel I'm consuming bad fictional content on the level or extent that you are portraying or cross the line into being an idol. I don't see a regime, as you are suggesting, having a long shelf life because there are going to be checks and balances. If you thin the checks and balances are inadequate and a 30 day fast is needed to make corrections within a system that I feel going as pains to make sure that no consumption reaches the level of idolatry then I'm all ears. There are no idols in here and Jesus always takes first priority.
 

corrector

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If you're happy with your life, I'm happy with your life.
You had a free idolatry card to use and you didn't use it. This means you really do not care that 30 day suggestion. You don't know how to steamroll through things do you? Too bad.
 

corrector

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This is as far as I've read, so far, and felt i needed to address this, before continuing. Neither of us knows the other. I know nothing about you that doesn't come directly from your posts. Any picture i could form about who you are, as a person, from anything you post in this thread or forum would be like looking at a million piece jigsaw puzzle with 900 thousand pieces missing. I would just be guessing.

Having explained that much, let me explain this: because this can't be personal, because i don't know you, it isn't intended as a personal critique. I am only responding to comments you have posted, and using your posts as a backboard, just in case anyone but you or I ever reads this. Because, face it, neither of us is worthy of so many words from someone we don't know, unless we're hoping our respective messages will eventually reach readers to whom they do apply.

So, if I use something you've said to make a point, your mistake is taking it personally, which isn't intended, and it can't possibly be.
stfu
 

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@corrector and @ShePays... You two.. Can you guys get a room already? This is like the third thread in a month you two have been going back and forth attacking each other. That's uncool and undudely. Respectfully, quit it. We're all here to help each other, and we're all allowed to have a difference of opinion.
 

redskinsfan92

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I never thoughts to forum members would turns this thread into pages.
 

Spaz

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The incels are taking over SoSuave.
Who are the incels?

Anyhow Redskin ain't no incel..

Since he is OTW to being a mother fvcking great man (I hv no doubts with his current trajectory, women will be attracted to him).

Incels are just one of those losers who doesn't do anything except complain endlessly with their plight in life.
 

RickTheToad

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Who are the incels?

Anyhow Redskin ain't no incel..

Since he is OTW to being a mother fvcking great man (I hv no doubts with his current trajectory, women will be attracted to him).

Incels are just one of those losers who doesn't do anything except complain endlessly with their plight in life.
Some people just cannot take a joke these days..
 

corrector

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I never said I was focused on getting laid or that I am a virgin. Anyone who says otherwise has ignored my posts when I said I was divorced or that I do not do anything except within a marriage.
 
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