"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Does the Two Strike Rule Apply here?

bigneil

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(Rare non-stripper thread).

I saw a hot girl at work (different companies, same building) in the elevator in January. Pretty enough that you could lose yourself for a moment if you stared too long.

A week later we crossed paths and she smiled and held eye contact continuously for about 20 feet. Good sign for sure.

A week after that I walked up to her and said "I always see you but don't know your name…" and she extended her hand to me faster than Dirty Harry pulls a 45. She told me her name and (more importantly) she asked me my name.

A few weeks went by and then I saw her again this week:

0) Me: It's been a while since I've seen you.
1) Her: I know! So where do you work?
2) Me: 9th floor.
3) Her: (strong eye contact)
4) Me: Are you single?
5) Her: Yes!
6): Me: We should get lunch (thinking I'm in like Flynn at that point).
7): Her: (Smiling) Hmm.... I don't know.
8): Me: Of course you do! (I was shocked!)
9): Her: I just got out of a relationship.
10): Me: Who said anything about a relationship?
11): Her: Hmm…
12): Me: So you’ll send me a text message then?
13) Her: I'm not sure.
14) Me: Of course you are. (Eye contact the whole time).
15): Her: How old are you?
16): Me: I’m 41. But you didn’t think I was 41.
17) Her: (Staring and smiling).
18) Me: Why, is that too old for you?
19): Her: (Looking about 30 and rubbing her chin nods) Yes... but you ARE a really nice man...
29): Me: (Laughing, turning and walking) It was nice to see you again (Ouch, she said the word "nice").

In hindsight, it felt good overall. Her words said no but her eyes said yes.

So the next day who did I end up with alone in the elevator? Her. She told me she couldn't wait for the weekend and I asked what her plans were and she said it's her mom's birthday and she's traveling to (her hometown). She got off after 2 floors.

Should the two strike rule be applied here?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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loveshogun

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BigNeil,

This thread sounds a lot like you're looking for validation.

We already know that you know your stuff well enough, but I feel like pride is still a huge factor in your decision-making process, and that's never a good thing.

If she wants to play, she'll let you know. She clearly declined the first time, and there may be a million reasons why, but the only reason you're wondering about any of this is because your pride might get hurt.
 

nightcrawler

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bigneil said:
(Rare non-stripper thread).

I saw a hot girl at work (different companies, same building) in the elevator in January. Pretty enough that you could lose yourself for a moment if you stared too long.

A week later we crossed paths and she smiled and held eye contact continuously for about 20 feet. Good sign for sure.

A week after that I walked up to her and said "I always see you but don't know your name…" and she extended her hand to me faster than Dirty Harry pulls a 45. She told me her name and (more importantly) she asked me my name.

A few weeks went by and then I saw her again this week:

0) Me: It's been a while since I've seen you.
1) Her: I know! So where do you work?
2) Me: 9th floor.
3) Her: (strong eye contact)
4) Me: Are you single?
5) Her: Yes!
6): Me: We should get lunch (thinking I'm in like Flynn at that point).
7): Her: (Smiling) Hmm.... I don't know.
8): Me: Of course you do! (I was shocked!)
9): Her: I just got out of a relationship.
10): Me: Who said anything about a relationship?
11): Her: Hmm…
12): Me: So you’ll send me a text message then?
13) Her: I'm not sure.
14) Me: Of course you are. (Eye contact the whole time).
15): Her: How old are you?
16): Me: I’m 41. But you didn’t think I was 41.
17) Her: (Staring and smiling).
18) Me: Why, is that too old for you?
19): Her: (Looking about 30 and rubbing her chin nods) Yes... but you ARE a really nice man...
29): Me: (Laughing, turning and walking) It was nice to see you again (Ouch, she said the word "nice").

In hindsight, it felt good overall. Her words said no but her eyes said yes.

So the next day who did I end up with alone in the elevator? Her. She told me she couldn't wait for the weekend and I asked what her plans were and she said it's her mom's birthday and she's traveling to (her hometown). She got off after 2 floors.

Should the two strike rule be applied here?
your problem is that you're interested in getting a date with her.

you should be interested in HER..not getting a date.

when she said she just got out of a relationship...this was the perfect opportunity find out info...but instead you kept insisting on a "date"

why would anyone wanna go on a date with someone they have no bond to?
 

zekko

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I guess Nightcrawler is saying you should have built more attraction, comfort, and rapport with her first.

I don't think the two strike rule applies here because it was all in one interaction. Let her get used to the idea before you write her off completely.

Odd for that attractive a 30 year old to be running around unattached like that.
 

bigneil

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By two strike rule, I meant I was shot down the first time (strike one), and wondered if it's salvagable for another try.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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