Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Does the Two Strike Rule Apply here?

bigneil

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(Rare non-stripper thread).

I saw a hot girl at work (different companies, same building) in the elevator in January. Pretty enough that you could lose yourself for a moment if you stared too long.

A week later we crossed paths and she smiled and held eye contact continuously for about 20 feet. Good sign for sure.

A week after that I walked up to her and said "I always see you but don't know your name…" and she extended her hand to me faster than Dirty Harry pulls a 45. She told me her name and (more importantly) she asked me my name.

A few weeks went by and then I saw her again this week:

0) Me: It's been a while since I've seen you.
1) Her: I know! So where do you work?
2) Me: 9th floor.
3) Her: (strong eye contact)
4) Me: Are you single?
5) Her: Yes!
6): Me: We should get lunch (thinking I'm in like Flynn at that point).
7): Her: (Smiling) Hmm.... I don't know.
8): Me: Of course you do! (I was shocked!)
9): Her: I just got out of a relationship.
10): Me: Who said anything about a relationship?
11): Her: Hmm…
12): Me: So you’ll send me a text message then?
13) Her: I'm not sure.
14) Me: Of course you are. (Eye contact the whole time).
15): Her: How old are you?
16): Me: I’m 41. But you didn’t think I was 41.
17) Her: (Staring and smiling).
18) Me: Why, is that too old for you?
19): Her: (Looking about 30 and rubbing her chin nods) Yes... but you ARE a really nice man...
29): Me: (Laughing, turning and walking) It was nice to see you again (Ouch, she said the word "nice").

In hindsight, it felt good overall. Her words said no but her eyes said yes.

So the next day who did I end up with alone in the elevator? Her. She told me she couldn't wait for the weekend and I asked what her plans were and she said it's her mom's birthday and she's traveling to (her hometown). She got off after 2 floors.

Should the two strike rule be applied here?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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loveshogun

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BigNeil,

This thread sounds a lot like you're looking for validation.

We already know that you know your stuff well enough, but I feel like pride is still a huge factor in your decision-making process, and that's never a good thing.

If she wants to play, she'll let you know. She clearly declined the first time, and there may be a million reasons why, but the only reason you're wondering about any of this is because your pride might get hurt.
 

nightcrawler

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bigneil said:
(Rare non-stripper thread).

I saw a hot girl at work (different companies, same building) in the elevator in January. Pretty enough that you could lose yourself for a moment if you stared too long.

A week later we crossed paths and she smiled and held eye contact continuously for about 20 feet. Good sign for sure.

A week after that I walked up to her and said "I always see you but don't know your name…" and she extended her hand to me faster than Dirty Harry pulls a 45. She told me her name and (more importantly) she asked me my name.

A few weeks went by and then I saw her again this week:

0) Me: It's been a while since I've seen you.
1) Her: I know! So where do you work?
2) Me: 9th floor.
3) Her: (strong eye contact)
4) Me: Are you single?
5) Her: Yes!
6): Me: We should get lunch (thinking I'm in like Flynn at that point).
7): Her: (Smiling) Hmm.... I don't know.
8): Me: Of course you do! (I was shocked!)
9): Her: I just got out of a relationship.
10): Me: Who said anything about a relationship?
11): Her: Hmm…
12): Me: So you’ll send me a text message then?
13) Her: I'm not sure.
14) Me: Of course you are. (Eye contact the whole time).
15): Her: How old are you?
16): Me: I’m 41. But you didn’t think I was 41.
17) Her: (Staring and smiling).
18) Me: Why, is that too old for you?
19): Her: (Looking about 30 and rubbing her chin nods) Yes... but you ARE a really nice man...
29): Me: (Laughing, turning and walking) It was nice to see you again (Ouch, she said the word "nice").

In hindsight, it felt good overall. Her words said no but her eyes said yes.

So the next day who did I end up with alone in the elevator? Her. She told me she couldn't wait for the weekend and I asked what her plans were and she said it's her mom's birthday and she's traveling to (her hometown). She got off after 2 floors.

Should the two strike rule be applied here?
your problem is that you're interested in getting a date with her.

you should be interested in HER..not getting a date.

when she said she just got out of a relationship...this was the perfect opportunity find out info...but instead you kept insisting on a "date"

why would anyone wanna go on a date with someone they have no bond to?
 

zekko

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I guess Nightcrawler is saying you should have built more attraction, comfort, and rapport with her first.

I don't think the two strike rule applies here because it was all in one interaction. Let her get used to the idea before you write her off completely.

Odd for that attractive a 30 year old to be running around unattached like that.
 

bigneil

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By two strike rule, I meant I was shot down the first time (strike one), and wondered if it's salvagable for another try.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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