"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Does She Like Me?

JD83

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Guys I'm confused about whether my friend likes me or not. She always finds time to talk to me at work. She cares about what I think about her. She laughs at my jokes even when they're not funny. She is always teasing me and calling me "mean" and an "*******" when I burst out on her. She sometimes hits me on my shoulder or my arm (in a playful way). However, she rarely texts me unless I text her first. Then again she doesn't answer anyone when they text her. She has NOT told me explicitly that she likes me even though she knows I like her. She is sometimes dismissive when I try to talk about "me liking her." Yesterday I asked her to go on a ROADTRIP with me. She stated following, "I don't know what I feel. You know I'm in a serious relationship but I just dunno anymore. I'm really confused and I really want to go with you. So yes I'll go! Just let me find a good excuse. I haven't done this since I was 19!" She is now 30.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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GetOveIT

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Ever try ask her that question? or even be a man and kiss her?
 

The Greek

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Yo, you have to stop telling her you like her without any reciprocity. She SOUNDS intrigued but you may be killing her interest by being too available. Find the right time when you two are alone, escalate (there's better advice than what I can give you on that on this forum), and see how she responds. Actions, not words etc/
 

Mantis Toboggan

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"Does she like me" is a weak question.

The only way to find out is to get her to do things that prove it. Otherwise you're just sitting around like a moron looking for signs of interest.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Lord Sidious

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She has that behaviour with you at work because she´s in her "safety environment", because when you´re alone with her she doesn´t do that, right? I´ve been there also, bro. It´s usual.

I ask this: - if she has a serious relationship, why did you ask her to go with you on a roadtrip? I don´t know, but seems that a roadtrip can be long, so, do you feel confortable with that? I mean, if you intend to get involved with her (bang her, because I don´t believe she offers you more than that as long as she has bf), isn´t it better to settle something more simple and of shorter duration?

And stop telling you like her. The more you act as you´re the prize, the better.
 

thecurtainfalls

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JD83 said:
She is sometimes dismissive when I try to talk about "me liking her."
Sounds like you're expressing your interest in a very AFC way. How do you expect her to react?
 

JD83

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Thanks for the good feedback. I choose the roadtrip because we are going to go to a sporting event. We were initially going to go to a sporting event where we live but she is afraid that someone she knows might spot her and tell her bf. That is why we decided to travel to the sporting event about three hours from where we live. We both love action and sports and is a way for me to get her to relax and chill without formalities and all that.

I'm not into the AFC lexicon but I'll admit that I do act a little different with her. Its hard not to because we work together and. If I stop, she will know that I'm acting different. I don't want to act as if I dont like her. I try to balance this by showing her that I do have other options. In fact she knows of some girls that I have been involved with. I know that part of the reason she began feeling attraction for me is because I have been honest from the git-go. Its hard to balance honesty vs. setting oneself as the prize. Great ideas though!
 

thecurtainfalls

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JD83 said:
Its hard to balance honesty vs. setting oneself as the prize. Great ideas though!
Yes, but this is the crux of what it takes to land a girl 99% of the time. You need to express your interest in a confident, masculine way, not in a way that makes her shrink from you every time you talk about "me liking her". She's going to want to feel confidently led in this interaction, and she's definitely not going to want feelings vomited on her. Does that make sense? The poster Igetit! is really good at explaining good ways of projecting your interest without coming off as weak or needy. Search for some of his posts if you're interested.
 

JD83

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Yes I understand. So do you then agree that she at least has some interest?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Kailex

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JD83 said:
Yes I understand. So do you then agree that she at least has some interest?
Many posters here can tell you many things. There will be many scenarios, some good, some bad.

But in the end, the only person who can tell us whether she is interested... is YOU.

If she comes on this road trip, you BETTER make a move.
The fact that she even accepted to come means that there is SOME kind of interest...

Now whether it's sexual interest or not, I can't tell. For all we know, she could just go because it's a road trip.

And please, do me a favor... if she goes, don't fvck this up by talking about your feelings or telling her that you like her... SHOW her by manning up and making a move. I suggest you try to get some reading done before you go on that road trip too... DJ Bible specifically. I'm worried about a guy who constantly TELLS a woman with a boyfriend about how he FEELS about her.
 

thecurtainfalls

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I would agree with that assessment, but a woman's interest is tenuous. In other words, don't screw it up! :p
 

DonJoseCantosie

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Good stuff man. Just be sure of yourself and realize that considering she's in a relationship, the guilt trip could hit her and she might back out at the last second. Don't underestimate a woman's guilt. I think you should've communicated your interest sooner honestly. BUT, you still have a chance.

Kailex is pretty spot on. The fact she's even willing to go on a road trip with you, ALONE....says alot! She's most likely down to ****. And the fact she's using an excuse, EVEN more of a sign. A rule of thumb, make sure that you'd take responsibility for this happen if the guilt is hitting her. That way, she can be relaxed. You have to be a man and make a move on her. If she turns her head at first, DONT GIVE UP! Its a little resistence, rinse and repeat :)

TheCurtainFalls is right too. She wants you to be into her in a self assured, dominant, masculine manner. Be the man she's lusting over. She probably is bored or sick of her boyfriend :).

Lastly as the others said, no need to keep telling her you like her. Tell her your into her in a non-platonic manner, and that you can be discreet about all this flat out once and thats it. Then act accordingly mate. Touch her, talk to her and look at her as if she's already with you ;)
 

JD83

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Thanks. I will stop telling her that I like her. One of the things I like most about her is that we can talk about anything. I know many guys believe that the guy should not talk that much because the girl will get bored. However, most of our conversation is not about me liking her or love. In fact, its actually about what our careers, jobs, hobbies, and lots of silly arguments. What I have noticed though is that when I talk about serious things (like my love for my family, my career goals) she turns her body towards me and gives me this long, sexy stare. Then she smiles and just looks at me. She literally stops what she is doing (remember: we work together) and listens attentively. I don't know why but she does and its sexy!
 

JD83

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UPDATE- Slept with girl. do I tell her?

I had sex with another girl last night. I know that when I get back to work on Monday she is going to ask me what I did this weekend. Do I tell her the truth or not? I always tell her when I sleep with someone but now that we are getting close I'm not so sure. I don't want to **** it up.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Iceberg

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JD83 said:
I had sex with another girl last night. I know that when I get back to work on Monday she is going to ask me what I did this weekend. Do I tell her the truth or not? I always tell her when I sleep with someone but now that we are getting close I'm not so sure. I don't want to **** it up.
Yeah. You should tell her. Because that's a totally smart and logical thing to do.



...idiot.
 

nismo-4

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Mantis Toboggan said:
"Does she like me" is a weak question.

The only way to find out is to get her to do things that prove it. Otherwise you're just sitting around like a moron looking for signs of interest.
OP, listen to Mr. Mantis! Pay attention to this!

Understand that you just need to make a damn move instead of waiting around for her to come to you. Are you a man? Can't you see that the iron is hot? Strike it! Just do it like Nike! It's super effective!

Stop worrying about whether or not she likes you! Assume she does and you'll know for sure.

Judge Nismo-4 has found you guilty of worrying. This crime comes with a fine of lower attraction. But you can be alleviated from this fine. How? Read my sig. Apply it. Stop worrying. Remember that you will not be fit for every woman in the world and vice versa.

Mantis T, get equipped with +1 rep!

Case closed. Post your results.
 

nismo-4

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JD83 said:
I had sex with another girl last night. I know that when I get back to work on Monday she is going to ask me what I did this weekend. Do I tell her the truth or not? I always tell her when I sleep with someone but now that we are getting close I'm not so sure. I don't want to **** it up.
Dude, it's really not this girl's business. Just tell her *insert fun activity/ hobby here* and keep her interested. Tread lightly.
 

DonJoseCantosie

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you dont tell chicks you slept with someone else lol
I gotta disagree here. If all else, she'll prolly have even more incentive to go to the road trip with you if you tell her in a nonchalant, no big deal way. You could always say i met up with someone and not tread the issue. Too many guys on here are afraid of losing a particular girl...becuz they hold too much importance. Hell, it might bring the jealous girl in her to where she'll want you for herself ;)
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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