"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Does personality even matter?

Cheeky_James

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 16, 2025
Messages
830
Reaction score
412
Age
42
I wa contemplating this today before a date.
After a few duds dates lately. And now a 3rd did date tonite..(meh)
I post deets on my journal thread fyi.

I mean chicks know in a blink of an eye wether they feel physical chemistry or not.

and if they do, they will just mirror the guys personality anyway. And make it easy as p1ss for him. They will act in certain ways to make rapport , etc and pretend he’s so funny and interesting ..LOL.

Is all this game sh1t we debate really just a cope?
Like. Is it just a form of anxiety…?

Does personality even really matter .. for hookups most likely not at all ,
and for relationships.?. maybe even not really that much either possibly?, I mean the mask slips off women after x time period in a relationship anyway… we’ve all experienced that.

ive seen this written on some ex PUA blogs over the years. Guys that debunk Game completely and go BP. And I’m tending to agree w it more and more tbh.

brw I’ve just had a sh1t date and I’m a bit tipsy writing this. A bit annoyed but not at the chick tbh. She called it early so ..that was for the best.

opinions..?
 
Last edited:

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

UK manc

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 2, 2026
Messages
62
Reaction score
58
Age
43
Yeah, definitely..

I'm wondering if the current difficulty you're experiencing is because of incongruity between sober you and then you after a few drinks over the course of your date...

It's very hard to stay a constant "personality" when you're drinking a few <- voice of experience!

Sometimes it works if you and her are on the same glide path with the alcohol on an evening, but maybe you're not managing to keep it in sync.

(Watch the weight gain too with the drinking)
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

Cheeky_James

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 16, 2025
Messages
830
Reaction score
412
Age
42
Correct, but even with hookups I need to feel some level of connection.


It matters a lot, possibly more than anything.
but.. how can I be correct if you then go on to say you ‘need some level of connection’?.
I mean.. the ‘connection’ is fake right ?
It’s just shmooze really. Yknow.. Insincere.
As it’s all just a ‘prelude to a fvck ‘ (as one girl once said to me)…
 

Barrister

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 28, 2018
Messages
2,857
Reaction score
5,086
Age
40
It does matter. Quite a bit actually.

And I’m getting this from my own experience - not from any woman. And to be clear, your personality just needs to be confident and charismatic when speaking to them. Any combination of other characteristics are fine. Sure, you may get a lay just based off of her being horny and being physically attracted, but add in a man who can carry a conversation (when needed) and say just the right thing to be seductive and it makes a major difference in your success rate.
 

Poonstra

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 27, 2018
Messages
275
Reaction score
227
Age
48
I said SOME, albeit al whole lot less then for a relationship. At least no active aversion
 

Cheeky_James

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 16, 2025
Messages
830
Reaction score
412
Age
42
It does matter. Quite a bit actually.

And I’m getting this from my own experience - not from any woman. And to be clear, your personality just needs to be confident and charismatic when speaking to them. Any combination of other characteristics are fine. Sure, you may get a lay just based off of her being horny and being physically attracted, but add in a man who can carry a conversation (when needed) and say just the right thing to be seductive and it makes a major difference in your success rate.
I read a funny comment on a black pill video recently. The guy put it like this

“your face is your personality .. and your height is your confidence”

then another guy topped it with

“ faceonality and heightfidence”

those BP guys are f’n funny man… :rofl:

and they may well be right (!) :oops::eek:

I read another summary of attraction on Looksmaxxing.org

they reckon approach and personality ‘game’ accounts for about 10%.
Don’t anti-game and fvck it up basically.
again, they could be right …
 
Last edited:

Bigpapa

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 17, 2020
Messages
3,496
Reaction score
2,698
I read a funny comment on a black pill video recently. The guy put it like this

“your face is your personality .. and your height is your confidence”

then another guy topped it with

“ faceonality and heightfidence”

those BP guys are f’n funny man… :rofl:

and they may well be right (!) :oops::eek:

I read another summary of attraction on Looksmaxxing.org

they reckon approach and personality ‘game’ accounts for about 10%.
Don’t anti-game and fvck it up basically.
again, they could be right …
Plenty of guys whom are top guys from a black pill perspective are not getting laid as much as people think

but I guess it is much easier to say that it is not because of you but about something that you can not control ( like genetics ). Moving the blame from you to outside factors

it is more or less like the case of a company being poorly managed, and management moves the blame to outside factors or on the employees.

And in the moment you suggest some small stuff to be changed because you have plenty of proof of not working, you are being framed as being difficult and trying to attack their leadership

despite the data being there, the logic being there and you are willing to make it as it is their thinking
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Bigpapa

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 17, 2020
Messages
3,496
Reaction score
2,698
but.. how can I be correct if you then go on to say you ‘need some level of connection’?.
I mean.. the ‘connection’ is fake right ?
It’s just shmooze really. Yknow.. Insincere.
As it’s all just a ‘prelude to a fvck ‘ (as one girl once said to me)…
I think your issue is that you do not go for compliance + bad calibration between what you say and what you do

you can’t jump from hello hello to eye f8ckinf the girl or becoming very sexual

Neither from talking from whatever subject to starting touching her sexually, etc

actually escalating things too sexually will make the whole interaction blow into your face in the very vast majority of cases

and I think all of this stems from your line of thinking that if a girl is interested she automatically is up for having sex with you
 

Clockwerk50

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 5, 2023
Messages
2,311
Reaction score
2,339
Age
41
The 4 factors of SMV are looks, money, status, and personality.

Different women, depending on their needs and wants, will prioritize different factors or put more weight on some than others. Either way, it's important to optimize all four factors because being deficient in any one of them can limit your dating options, and improving one factor can help compensate for weaknesses in another.

So, in short, yes, it matters.
 
Top