Does "No Contact" really work?

[reset]

I'm being real here... and after I sent her "leave me alone don't ever call or text me again" she sent me "STOP TEXTING ME" and she hit repeat 3 times because the message kept hitting my phone.

Exactly. You sent her a text. She wins.

It doesn't matter how she managed to pull it off, she got what she wanted: you texting her.

So yeah, time to re-read elephant thread.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...So yeah, time to re-read elephant thread.

And stay away from doors...

 

[Bonhomme]

Q: Does "no contact" work?

A: Depends how you define what "works." If "works" means getting her back, then it works just as well as anything else (i.e., rarely if ever works).

On the other hand, if you define "works" as helping keep you de-chumpified and able to move on and get on with your life properly (which sometimes ends up with her coming back, though you might not even want her at such time), then it works like a charm.

 

[MacAvoy]

Q: Does "no contact" work?

A: Depends how you define what "works." If "works" means getting her back, then it works just as well as anything else (i.e., rarely if ever works).

B: On the other hand, if you define "works" as helping keep you de-chumpified and able to move on and get on with your life properly (which sometimes ends up with her coming back, though you might not even want her at such time), then it works like a charm.

You just summed up 30 pages in one tiny paragraph. Its unfortunate the OP can't take it to heart, he tries B for a second, gets a taste, then goes write back to A.

 

[reset]

You just summed up 30 pages in one tiny paragraph. Its unfortunate the OP can't take it to heart, he tries B for a second, gets a taste, then goes write back to A.

Lol. I first thought it was a strategy to get the chick back, but it turns out that it forces you to stand back from the situation and not do anything stupid. Then maybe you'll realize "hmm... good thing I haven't been talking to her, because I dont' like her as much anymore. This time away has let me get some perspective".

The tricky part is when you see the chick freaking out and your ego takes over. You're still playing her game.

So this thread should probably be put on hold unless something totally drastic happens, like the chick starts being all sweet and nice. That's probably next.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

So this thread should probably be put on hold unless something totally drastic happens, like the chick starts being all sweet and nice. That's probably next.

That would be HILARIOUS. I really don't want to give this woman attention and feed her ego anymore but if she decides to try the "nice and sweet" angle, how can I not play along? Let's give it some time and you never know she might do it. That would be so funny.

 

[reset]

No, don't play along. It's a game, she'll make you think she's over it, you'll start being cool to her again then she'll slam your third nut in the door.

The thing with stupid drama games like this is you only win if you're always consistent. You either flat out ignore her or try to be buddies, you can't go back and forth because as long as you do that she's in control and laughing at you behind your back for jumping at all her little tricks.

Just be consistent in your actions. If you have to see her just nod your head like she was some strange GUY walking down the street that you were passing by.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

This thread needs an update. The woman still appears to hate me in case anybody was wondering. It's been almost 3 months, so I decided to test the waters.

I texted her asking how she is doing. She replied but it was nothing positive. We went back and forth a few times, and the last message she sent me was "you knucklehead delete my # and erase me from your memory have a nice life". It was in all caps too, like she was really mad.

We still see each other at work a few times a month but we have not uttered a word to each other.

This means she still wants me, right?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...This means she still wants me dead, right?

You missed a word.

 

[reset]

Someday maybe we'll see the answer to the title of this thread.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

You missed a word.

LOL, what do you really think? I mean, she replied so she must still have some interest.

I am half joking here ofcourse, I have no idea what's going on in reality as you can tell.

 

[reset]

If she had interest she'd be treating you well and wanting to be around you and making you feel good when she's around.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

If she had interest she'd be treating you well and wanting to be around you and making you feel good when she's around.

So why do I still have interest? She is NOT all that. She is not anything special I've had better but she still runs through my mind all the time.

Anybody know a good shrink?

 

[reset]

Doc Love: rejection always doubles interest.

The girls you can take or leave, once they let you know they are not interested become much more interesting to you because they are a challenge. It's exactly what we talk about here, but in reverse. In this case, instead of you being the DJ and she being your love slave she's the DJ and you're wanting to be her love slave.

She's not all that. She treated you like crap and you want to test the waters with someone who is mean to you.

This is why inner game is so important.

 

[reset]

And the fact that she knows she treated you bad, and you're asking for seconds, makes you look bad in her eyes, like you don't have any self-respect. BUT---what she thinks doesn't matter anyway.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Doc Love: rejection always doubles interest.

The girls you can take or leave, once they let you know they are not interested become much more interesting to you because they are a challenge. It's exactly what we talk about here, but in reverse. In this case, instead of you being the DJ and she being your love slave she's the DJ and you're wanting to be her love slave.

She's not all that. She treated you like crap and you want to test the waters with someone who is mean to you.

This is why inner game is so important.

But she treated me great until it got complicated. I don't want to rehash the story and get caught up in "what if's". It is what it is.

 

[reset]

It is what it is. I've been saying that a lot lately.

Chicks like you, and while they like you, they like you. If they really like you, while they really like you they really like you. When they stop liking you, they don't like you anymore. They may go from really liking you, to just liking you, to not being sure if they like you, to pretty sure they don't like you, to not liking you, to actually disliking you.

It's hard to think these are the same girls that were so kind and attentive previously. The demon seed is in every woman, whether or not it comes out, depends on how you act, and what her character is like.

Think about all the people that get divorced. They want to literally murder each other sometimes, and will dedicate the rest of their lives to destroying each other, will use their kids as tools to hurt the other.... and these are the same people who were 100% convinced they would be together for eternity holding hands and singing songs.

But to the topic, women can turn it off much quicker. It's in their genetics, they need that security, maybe they truly did like you before but when it stops it stops and they are on to the next dude. All no contact can really do is mess with her head and make it harder for her to move on because she's not sure you're dead yet.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

So why do I still have interest?

You're asking us??? :crazy:

Here's a question for 'ya, who are you seeing right now?

 

[My Name is Nobody]

You're asking us??? :crazy:

Here's a question for 'ya, who are you seeing right now?

That non english speaking girl in my quest to get laid thread, and a new one I'm about to start seeing this weekend. Motown Mack helped me out, and got her begging me for a date. Motown really is a mack.

I'm hoping to see both girls this weekend.

 

[MotownMack]

It's hard to think these are the same girls that were so kind and attentive previously. The demon seed is in every woman, whether or not it comes out, depends on how you act, and what her character is like.

This is SO true and isn't recognized enough. Since I have been back in the dating world, I have been amazed at the Jekyl and Hyde personality that seems to be in most women (especially HBs). When they are totally into you, they can be the nicest, sweetest things-but when that changes, look out. That's one of the reasons I am a fan of not jumping into things too quickly.

Motown Mack helped me out, and got her begging me for a date. Motown really is a mack.

LOL, thanks for the props. That's easy part, I am pretty good at the conversing part usually. It's the cold approach where my game is pitifully weak.