Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I could be wrong but it sounds as if your interest isn't based on who she is, it's about who she isn't. It's as if scarcity makes her a more attractive package.My Name is Nobody said:She lives in my no name small boring town. We like the same music, she likes to smoke. We are from the same area. Her family owns a farm. No baggage, no divorces, no disorders, no kids, no drama.
Oh and no exes that she talked about.
How does that sound?
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Francisco d'Anconia said:I could be wrong but it sounds as if your interest isn't based on who she is, it's about who she isn't. It's as if scarcity makes her a more attractive package.
reset said:Holy fvck why does this stuff have to be so damn complicated?
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Perhaps; more importantly, do you?My Name is Nobody said:...Edited to Add: BOOZE brings out the AFC in me and probably everybody. Getting drunk is a DJ killer. Just look at all my posts in this thread most of them were while drinking. I made this post completely sober do you notice a difference?
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
The typical males need to apply logic to things (even the illogical) in order to demonstrate that their knowledge of those things allows them control over them.reset said:Holy fvck why does this stuff have to be so damn complicated?
Ok. What?Francisco d'Anconia said:The typical males need to apply logic to things (even the illogical) in order to demonstrate that their knowledge of those things allows them control over them.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.