"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Does "No Contact" really work?

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reset said:
You officially give a damn.

A little but not much. I have a date Saturday night for drinks and another date Sunday morning for coffee.

I am a bit happy she dumped me it could be the best thing that ever happened to me. It motivated me to go out and sarge like a madman and I would never have done it without her help.

But I admit what she did to me still stings. And my OLD AFC self would love to text her or call her to say "HI" and see what she is up to. But that is NOT going to happen.

SHE obviously gives a damn trying to get my attention like that. I'm just trying to point out the craziness of this woman. Why is she doing this? Just leave me alone woman I am moving on. Don't walk by me and don't try to get my attention!
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Yeah well reading this makes me feel better about the situations I've been in like this. The chicks seem to act the same way. It's just how women react when they get their drama buttons pushed, so don't take it personally like it's YOU. Your chick is acting like my chick and they don't even know each other, if that makes sense.
 
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reset said:
Yeah well reading this makes me feel better about the situations I've been in like this. The chicks seem to act the same way. It's just how women react when they get their drama buttons pushed, so don't take it personally like it's YOU. Your chick is acting like my chick and they don't even know each other, if that makes sense.

You make sense but women make no sense.

Like I said the only conclusion I come to that makes sense of her behavior is women are used to AFC's who they can treat like dirt and they still come crawling back.

I think a few years ago I would still be calling her to see what she's up to after what she did. But that day is over woman, GO AWAY!

Thanks sosuave.
 

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Yeah, just remember it's WOMEN. If it were some other girl she'd be doing the same thing to some other guy. It's not about "my name is nobody" it's about a human man doing one behavior and it sets off another behavior from a human female and this exact same thing is happening all over the world this very instant to guys who think they are dealing with a girl with a unique problem.

Good thing you're not going to call.
 
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So is she going to eventually contact me? Just curious especially since I will dissappear after tomorrow. She will be like WTF?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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You have to tell yourself it doesn't matter either way. You can't get caught up with what she is or isn't going to do. She's going to do whatever she does. No matter what it is it'll probably make no sense, so just use this as practice to stop caring what a girl in drama mode is going to do.
 
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She must have gotten upset because I was in a good mood today laughing and joking with my friends at work and paying her no mind. She wants me to be depressed and sad she is out of my life. I won't give her the satisfaction.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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reset said:
Yeah, just remember it's WOMEN. ....
Ummm, it's the wrong women.

And MNIN, why do you still care so much about what she's doing or even worse, worrying about what she hasn't done? :confused:
 
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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Ummm, it's the wrong women.

And MNIN, why do you still care so much about what she's doing or even worse, worrying about what she hasn't done? :confused:

I'm just trying to understand what is going through her head. That's pretty much it.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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My Name is Nobody said:
I'm just trying to understand what is going through her head. That's pretty much it.
Be careful, you might catch something.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Be careful, you might catch something.
Too late for that Francisco it's obvious I still like the woman is it not? I'm just doing a good job hiding that fact from her and I will continue to hide it. Ideally I would like to turn her into a plate something I SHOULD have done in the first place. But like a stupid AFC I put all the focus on her and screwed it up.

Now that I am talking to other women I don't care as much. This is how it should have been in the first place. But it took her dumping me to get out of AFC mode and spin plates.

It goes from one extreme to the other with me. But then again if things work out with the new women I am talking to I will forget all about her.

I have a couple dates planned this weekend let's see how it goes.
It takes more than getting a few phone #'s to move on I need to
meet them and execute and I am ready. I feel good about meeting them this weekend not nervous and uptight like I usually am. It's going to be good.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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My Name is Nobody said:
...I have a couple dates planned this weekend let's see how it goes.
It takes more than getting a few phone #'s to move on I need to
meet them and execute and I am ready. I feel good about meeting them this weekend not nervous and uptight like I usually am. It's going to be good.
:rockon: Most promising thing you've said in the thread.
 

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Ummm, it's the wrong women.
Yeah good reminder. I'm just going from my previous experience pre-qualifying days.
 
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Saw her in the hallway today and I said "hey ---- you doing okay?" .. she mumbled "i'm alright..."... and walked out the door...I saw her before that and she just looks pissed at life. Angry bitter woman she looks like. Scary.

But who cares right? I have a date with this Saturday night....

http://img240.imageshack.us/img240/8587/att00001hj1.jpg
 
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“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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"Hey you doing ok?"

WTF??? Damn. Remember the ignore thing? Lol. Oh well. It's hard to keep the mouth shut.

It's tough. But I think you said you'll never see her again so be grateful you don't have to go through that for months like I did. :)
 
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reset said:
"Hey you doing ok?"

WTF??? Damn. Remember the ignore thing? Lol. Oh well. It's hard to keep the mouth shut.

It's tough. But I think you said you'll never see her again so be grateful you don't have to go through that for months like I did. :)
Dude she was walking out the door while I was walking into the building. I should just pretend I don't see her and say nothing?

I think that's weak as hell.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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My Name is Nobody said:
Dude she was walking out the door while I was walking into the building. I should just pretend I don't see her and say nothing?

I think that's weak as hell.
I was going to question it to but after a moment's thought I realized that you did exactly what you should have done. Show you're a bigger guy and that you are ok enough to ask how she's doing, as if you have moved on. I'm just glad that you didn't ask if she wanted to get together to talk about it.
 
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Francisco d'Anconia said:
I'm just glad that you didn't ask if she wanted to get together to talk about it.
LOL I would have been like that 5 years ago.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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