Does marriage truly benefit men?

[Snag87]

The supposed benefits of marriage for men are often cited: higher incomes on average, longer lifespans, etc. I’ve always been skeptical that this is indicative of marriage benefiting men. In my opinion it’s merely the result of women sexually selecting for the highest quality men. For example, on average a married American man is two inches taller than his non-married counterparts. Should we therefore conclude that marriage makes men grow taller? No, this would be absurd, as virtually all married men’s growth plates have closed at the time of marriage. We can only conclude that the reason for the discrepancy in height is women sexually selecting for taller men. Shouldn’t we also conclude that women are also sexually selecting for higher earning and healthier men as well? And, that being the case, that this is the primary reason for the alleged benefits of marriage for men?



I’m confident that if we as a society outlawed marriage, it would have little discernible impact on the life outcomes of men on average. The men who are currently married would still be wealthier, healthier and taller. Of course, such an experiment is nearly impossible to conduct.

 

[CornbreadFed]

The fact they don't have to spend their disposable free time and energy chasing pvssy says a lot already. In addition, they aren't forced to hold a certain standard unlike married men. A bachelor single man's maturity and standards definitely have a ceiling while a married man has to keep working to maintain increasing standards from the wife and kids.

For example, I have a family and my own standards to tend to now, so I can no longer coast on an easy minimal job and move to Thailand in my 40s. Also, time management and learning things I took for granted as a bachelor male like neglecting to know how to change a tire, more focus on health than look aesthetics, safety, or basic house maintenance is a must because it is just not me anymore. Those things do add up and can contribute to higher income, longer lifespans, and etc.

Last, society sees a married man/with children as social proof that this guy isn’t some horny immature Chud which opens up networking opportunities. I am not arguing you that being married is better, but I am presenting to you the differences a married man must confront vs a single bachelor man.

 

[Fortune_favors_the_bold]

Minute 8.00 forward seems today.

 

[Snag87]

The fact they don't have to spend their disposable free time and energy chasing pvssy says a lot already. In addition, they aren't forced to hold a certain standard unlike married men. A bachelor single man's maturity and standards definitely have a ceiling while a married man has to keep working to maintain increasing standards from the wife and kids.

For example, I have a family and my own standards to tend to now, so I can no longer coast on an easy minimal job and move to Thailand in my 40s. Also, time management and learning things I took for granted as a bachelor male like neglecting to know how to change a tire, more focus on health than look aesthetics, safety, or basic house maintenance is a must because it is just not me anymore. Those things do add up and can contribute to higher income, longer lifespans, and etc.

Last, society sees a married man/with children as social proof that this guy isn’t some horny immature Chud which opens up networking opportunities. I am not arguing you that being married is better, but I am presenting to you the differences a married man must confront vs a single bachelor man.

Very good post, thanks. It reminds me of something I heard years ago. Why do married men earn more? Because they have to.

 

[Gamisch]

The fact they don't have to spend their disposable free time and energy chasing pvssy says a lot already. In addition, they aren't forced to hold a certain standard unlike married men. A bachelor single man's maturity and standards definitely have a ceiling while a married man has to keep working to maintain increasing standards from the wife and kids.

For example, I have a family and my own standards to tend to now, so I can no longer coast on an easy minimal job and move to Thailand in my 40s. Also, time management and learning things I took for granted as a bachelor male like neglecting to know how to change a tire, more focus on health than look aesthetics, safety, or basic house maintenance is a must because it is just not me anymore. Those things do add up and can contribute to higher income, longer lifespans, and etc.

Last, society sees a married man/with children as social proof that this guy isn’t some horny immature Chud which opens up networking opportunities. I am not arguing you that being married is better, but I am presenting to you the differences a married man must confront vs a single bachelor man.

You forgot to say that there's hardly any difference between an ltr and marriage, other than the title.

You also forgot to say that when the woman is tired of his azz after 2 years he is STUCK in a dead-end LTR, including a dead bedroom in some countries like the US IIRC ,half your assest are at risk.

You also forgot to say if he stays for 8 more years ( quite common) and he finally gets cheated on , he will have to reenter a dating market that completely changed, he is out of his prime and bluepilled to the max. Alienated from his offspring.

There are ofcourse variables that can benefit the man: when you have a " religious marriage " the pastor /imam might force your wife to open her legs for you. Dry p00sy galore lol.

Marriage as any form of relationship should be a REWARD for the woman because she's been nothing but good to you. If you do it because you dont wanna chase anymore, you're doing it wrong...

Matter of fact; imo a man should ALWAYS be on the chase / lookout for women.if you are an attractive dude, women will simply react to that. I dont say you should cheat, but you should definitely get attention from other women. As patrice o'neal once said.

I dont throw away my fishing boat, because as long as I smell like fish she knows how to act right.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

There is not a single benefit to men in marriage other than the tax benefits. Otherwise, all of the benefits are for the woman. How is this not self-evident to anyone?

I believe you're correct about the correlative data btw. It's funny how people are so quick to point out the "Correlation does not imply causation" adage except when it doesn't suit them.

Those statistics can very easily be explained and I think yours are plausible. Women have always selected for healthier/stronger men across all cultures from the dawn of mankind, so of course married men are going to live longer or be taller. The implication that being married makes you live longer due to being in a "happy, fulfilled partnership" is disney fairy tale nonsense. If anything I wouldn't be surprised if nagging, soul draining wives are partially responsible for the significantly higher rates of dementia in old men relative to women.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Very good post, thanks. It reminds me of something I heard years ago. Why do married men earn more? Because they have to.

Not quite that simple.

It's also because as you go higher up the difference between candidates is narrower and having a family paints a person as more stable, responsible and trustworthy often times in the eyes of the people doing the promoting.

The higher up you go, the more intangible qualities matter, and sometimes actually decides who gets the job.

Once again people on this board need to stop with the black and white thinking. It's rarely ever the case in real life, there are many shades of Gray...not sure about 50, but quite a few...and you will unknowingly fvck yourself over in many situations if you don't understand that.

 

[The Duke]

I've been married and had multiple long term relationships and noticed that I spend more time doing productive things inside those relationships than I do when I am single out chasing pu$$y. Sure I had a blast chasing pu$$y and have a ton of fun and crazy stories, but that stuff doesn't hold the same meaning for me as things I've accomplished when I wasn't doing that.

There is a lot more meaning and depth to life within something solid. Multiple short term relationships with women was one big party that kept repeating itself for me. To always have a supply of women ready and not go thru any dry spells take a lot of effort. A guy has to keep the pump primed or the supply dries up. That takes energy and time away from other things that matter a helluva lot more.

Other than that there are no benefits.

 

[Snag87]

Not quite that simple.

It's also because as you go higher up the difference between candidates is narrower and having a family paints a person as more stable, responsible and trustworthy often times in the eyes of the people doing the promoting.

The higher up you go, the more intangible qualities matter, and sometimes actually decides who gets the job.

Once again people on this board need to stop with the black and white thinking. It's rarely ever the case in real life and you will unknowingly fvck yourself over in many situations if you don't understand that.

That makes sense. That said, I’d assume being a bachelor is more acceptable these days. It should be significantly easier to climb the corporate ladder as a bachelor in 2026 as opposed to 1986.

 

[Gamisch]

Not quite that simple.

It's also because as you go higher up the difference between candidates is narrower and having a family paints a person as more stable, responsible and trustworthy often times in the eyes of the people doing the promoting.

The higher up you go, the more intangible qualities matter, and sometimes actually decides who gets the job.

Once again people on this board need to stop with the black and white thinking. It's rarely ever the case in real life, there are many shades of Gray...not sure about 50, but quite a few...and you will unknowingly fvck yourself over in many situations if you don't understand that.

Sosuave.net, the forum where supposedly players are made succumbs under pressure and now promotes marriage? We are back to bluepill!!!

This is a bad reason. Marrying so you can portrait an image. What about the divorce numbers?

Any man who gets married nowadays is a narcissist, period. " won't happen to ME cause I'm better than all those other men".

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Sosuave.net, the forum where supposedly players are made succumbs under pressure and now promotes marriage? We are back to bluepill!!!

This is a bad reason. Marrying so you can portrait an image. What about the divorce numbers?

Any man who gets married nowadays is a narcissist, period. " won't happen to ME cause I'm better than all those other men".

I didn't promote it. I simply am stating facts which are 100% true for anyone that knows business.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

That makes sense. That said, I’d assume being a bachelor is more acceptable these days. It should be significantly easier to climb the corporate ladder as a bachelor in 2026 as opposed to 1986.

Most people making those decisions are still old school thinkers, so perhaps not as different as you might think.

There is also risk involved that comes into play.

In general, the thinking is the chance of sexual harassment will be lower with a married man than a single one, even if that isn't always the case.

 

[CornbreadFed]

You forgot to say that there's hardly any difference between an ltr and marriage, other than the title.

Disagree lol

You also forgot to say that when the woman is tired of his azz after 2 years he is STUCK in a dead-end LTR, including a dead bedroom in some countries like the US IIRC ,half your assest are at risk.

This is bad but this doesn't translate into that same guy being a Chad slayer outside the LTR. There's plenty of TFL incels not getting any pvssy at all.

You also forgot to say if he stays for 8 more years ( quite common) and he finally gets cheated on , he will have to reenter a dating market that completely changed, he is out of his prime and bluepilled to the max. Alienated from his offspring.

He still has more valuable skills than the average incel that hasn't been in a solid LTR or marriage at all. The best-case super bachelor male with a healthy rotation of hot super model woman and not burning out any time soon is an uncommon scenario. Most single men after the age of 30 IMHO are going through dry spells, lack basic communication skills, and are on the path of being incels for life. Meanwhile, the recently cheated on guy at least has the foundations laid for him and all he really needs is a quick pick-me up routine. The manosphere influencers with the most credibility are usually these types of guys like Rollo Tomasi, Coach Greg Adams, Entrepreneur in cars, and etc.

Marriage as any form of relationship should be a REWARD for the woman because she's been nothing but good to you. If you do it because you dont wanna chase anymore, you're doing it wrong...

My parents got divorced and my dad won custody and alimony over my mom. In addition, same for my friend too. When you hear these doomsday stories about men in nightmare marriages, you only hear his doctored POV; not the dumb decisions he made leading up to that divorce lol. I do agree that men need to be pickier about selecting women in general. Too many men are rewarding women with BS because they literally did the bare minimum at best lol.

 

[Gamisch]

Disagree lol



This is bad but this doesn't translate into that same guy being a Chad slayer outside the LTR. There's plenty of TFL incels not getting any pvssy at all.



He still has more valuable skills than the average incel that hasn't been in a solid LTR or marriage at all. The best-case super bachelor male with a healthy rotation of hot super model woman and not burning out any time soon is an uncommon scenario. Most single men after the age of 30 IMHO are going through dry spells, lack basic communication skills, and are on the path of being incels for life. Meanwhile, the recently cheated on guy at least has the foundations laid for him and all he really needs is a quick pick-me up routine. The manosphere influencers with the most credibility are usually these types of guys like Rollo Tomasi, Coach Greg Adams, Entrepreneur in cars, and etc.



My parents got divorced and my dad won custody and alimony over my mom. In addition, same for my friend too. When you hear these doomsday stories about men in nightmare marriages, you only hear his doctored POV; not the dumb decisions he made leading up to that divorce lol. I do agree that men need to be pickier about selecting women in general. Too many men are rewarding women with BS because they literally did the bare minimum at best lol.

you disagree but dont explain why....what's the difference between marriage and an ltr? God? Church? ninja please...


Idk...a relationship with a woman who doesn't really wanna be there IS indeed a great learning experience. But you gotta follow it up with some positive experiences, while being careful before you make the same stupid decision again. If anything , NOT being too eager might actually be beneficiary to most men...

You make it sound like its indeed 1986 and marriage is common. It ain't. It's either a flex , culturally forced or iut of desperation as this thread describes ( as a way to have an EXCUSE to stop learning game , while being in a marriage takes END BOSS relationship skills..)

The example about your dad is cool snx i repsect that wholeheartedly , but I also know some stories from men who lost custody for the smallest reasons like sending angry but righteous texts) ,smoking pot ( while she does the same...) being NEET, tons of reasons.