Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Yes I strongly concur with the symptomatology. Abandonment by the father is a common initiator of the abuse/neglect cycle. However, that's clearly the abusive personality disorder. Which is why I say that BPD is a shabby substitute for thorough diagnosis. IMO, what we call BPD is actually Common Three plus any number of other disorders at various degrees of severity.Bible_Belt said:The best predictor of BPD is daddy running away or dying at a young age. But for fear of feminists, a mainstream article is not allowed to say that.
The very first criteria the article lists, 1) Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment, is completely wrong as well. BPDs do the opposite; they create situations where abandonment is certain to occur. They can't live without abandonment.
That is definately true. I've encountered 5-10 girls who I'm 100% sure are BPDs and they all had one thing in common: abandoned by their father who either left them or died - or had an abusive father who harassed them sexually or physically.The best predictor of BPD is daddy running away or dying at a young age. But for fear of feminists, a mainstream article is not allowed to say that.