She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Yes I strongly concur with the symptomatology. Abandonment by the father is a common initiator of the abuse/neglect cycle. However, that's clearly the abusive personality disorder. Which is why I say that BPD is a shabby substitute for thorough diagnosis. IMO, what we call BPD is actually Common Three plus any number of other disorders at various degrees of severity.Bible_Belt said:The best predictor of BPD is daddy running away or dying at a young age. But for fear of feminists, a mainstream article is not allowed to say that.
The very first criteria the article lists, 1) Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment, is completely wrong as well. BPDs do the opposite; they create situations where abandonment is certain to occur. They can't live without abandonment.
That is definately true. I've encountered 5-10 girls who I'm 100% sure are BPDs and they all had one thing in common: abandoned by their father who either left them or died - or had an abusive father who harassed them sexually or physically.The best predictor of BPD is daddy running away or dying at a young age. But for fear of feminists, a mainstream article is not allowed to say that.