"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Does Jodi Arias have BPD?
- Thread starter 5string
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
The best predictor of BPD is daddy running away or dying at a young age. But for fear of feminists, a mainstream article is not allowed to say that.
The very first criteria the article lists, 1) Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment, is completely wrong as well. BPDs do the opposite; they create situations where abandonment is certain to occur. They can't live without abandonment. Killing the guy is actually a cementing of the abandonment feelings. Now she will always feel them.
I have a bpd ex who was involved in a murder, but it was a current boyfriend who killed an ex who had gotten drunk and decided - at the urging of a second ex - to go to their house at 2 am and talk her into going back to him. The guy who got killed was little, about 135 pounds, and the guy who urged him into going was a big guy, 300 pounds, and said he would protect him. Instead, he ran away immediately. Her live-in boyfriend beat him unconscious, then kicked him in the head until his neck broke. There were no witnesses, so he only got 8 years and served 3. They got back together after he got out, then he beat her up and went right back to jail.
I can't see my ex ever killing anybody herself. She would just manipulate a man into doing it for her.
I would lean more towards Arias being bipolar rather than borderline. It is likely she would get a professional diagnosis for both. But I think the bipolar disorder would be responsible for more of her behavior than BPD.
The very first criteria the article lists, 1) Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment, is completely wrong as well. BPDs do the opposite; they create situations where abandonment is certain to occur. They can't live without abandonment. Killing the guy is actually a cementing of the abandonment feelings. Now she will always feel them.
I have a bpd ex who was involved in a murder, but it was a current boyfriend who killed an ex who had gotten drunk and decided - at the urging of a second ex - to go to their house at 2 am and talk her into going back to him. The guy who got killed was little, about 135 pounds, and the guy who urged him into going was a big guy, 300 pounds, and said he would protect him. Instead, he ran away immediately. Her live-in boyfriend beat him unconscious, then kicked him in the head until his neck broke. There were no witnesses, so he only got 8 years and served 3. They got back together after he got out, then he beat her up and went right back to jail.
I can't see my ex ever killing anybody herself. She would just manipulate a man into doing it for her.
I would lean more towards Arias being bipolar rather than borderline. It is likely she would get a professional diagnosis for both. But I think the bipolar disorder would be responsible for more of her behavior than BPD.
5string
Master Don Juan
Good post by Bible Belt.
My personal opinion is that Arias's dx is comorbid. That being BPD, HPD and Bi Polar. Psychopath? Probably.
There is a cluster b thread that shows up on here nearly every week. Someone who has encountered an emotional vampire and does not know WTF to do after being vaccumed emotionally.
The red flags are out there and on this forum. Read, learn and be prepared so you don't end up a former shell of the man you once were.
Beware brothers.
My personal opinion is that Arias's dx is comorbid. That being BPD, HPD and Bi Polar. Psychopath? Probably.
There is a cluster b thread that shows up on here nearly every week. Someone who has encountered an emotional vampire and does not know WTF to do after being vaccumed emotionally.
The red flags are out there and on this forum. Read, learn and be prepared so you don't end up a former shell of the man you once were.
Beware brothers.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
GreatHornedOwl
Senior Don Juan
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- May 11, 2010
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Get real. The woman is a psychopath who suffers from anti-social personality disorder. Have you seen her on the stand and in interviews? Absolutely no remorse, pathological liar, void of any emotions, only upset because she got caught.
She stabbed the poor guy 30 times, slit his throat ear to ear, and for good measure shot him in the head. This was all premeditated. Then claimed self defense and said he was the attacker.
Complete psychopath with no conscience.
She stabbed the poor guy 30 times, slit his throat ear to ear, and for good measure shot him in the head. This was all premeditated. Then claimed self defense and said he was the attacker.
Complete psychopath with no conscience.
Did you see the police interrogation room video where she's left alone and stands on her head? Her behavior is totally inappropriate to the situation. She's batsh1t crazy.
Yes I strongly concur with the symptomatology. Abandonment by the father is a common initiator of the abuse/neglect cycle. However, that's clearly the abusive personality disorder. Which is why I say that BPD is a shabby substitute for thorough diagnosis. IMO, what we call BPD is actually Common Three plus any number of other disorders at various degrees of severity.Bible_Belt said:
That is definately true. I've encountered 5-10 girls who I'm 100% sure are BPDs and they all had one thing in common: abandoned by their father who either left them or died - or had an abusive father who harassed them sexually or physically.
The sad thing about today is people tend to believe girls much more because they are portraited as innocent girls who would never lie. BPDs can take advantage of that and manipulate the hell out of unsuspecting peers who have no idea of the impending doom.