"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Does improving your look make you come out as insecure?

bobby87

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 23, 2004
Messages
34
Reaction score
0
Age
39
Me and this girl from work were talking about being vain or something. Anyway i tell her im probably quite vain as i whiten my teeth once in a while, pluck my eyebrows, etc. I also told her how i got ear surgery when i was 12 (just ended up teeling her that) and just went on to say theres nothing wrong with someone trying to improve their look.

Well after hearing all this, she comes out with 'god, are you that insecure with yourself'. I then tell her, so if someone is fat they should just stay fat and not try to lose weight as they will come out as 'insecure'. She then said 'yeh, people should just accept themselves for who they are'. I was just looking at her thinking this girl is a joke. I aint taking what she said seriously at all.

But still id like to know how the fuk can trying to look good come out as insecure? Man some people are full of bullsh!t in this world.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

PeeGee

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 5, 2004
Messages
484
Reaction score
3
Age
46
Location
Ontario
It's WHY you do something, rather than what you are doing that's important. I brush my teeth and take showers because skipping them makes me smell awful. Now if I start doing other grooming actions for the sake of 'looking a certain way so people will like me' or whatever bizarre excuse went through her mind, maybe you might have something against you.

Do you do all these things to compensate?
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
Originally posted by bobby87
Well after hearing all this, she comes out with 'god, are you that insecure with yourself'. I then tell her, so if someone is fat they should just stay fat and not try to lose weight as they will come out as 'insecure'. She then said 'yeh, people should just accept themselves for who they are'. I was just looking at her thinking this girl is a joke. I aint taking what she said seriously at all....
Ever consider SHE is the one that is insecure. You're taking more pride in yourself than she does in herself. People usually snipe at others when someone seems to be pulling away from them in a positive way by bettering themselves. Hopefully you aren't letting her hold you back.
 

aftershock

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 30, 2004
Messages
727
Reaction score
4
Location
England
I'm vain.

Vanity is a good thing - it means you look good. Simple.

A DJ takes pride in his apperance, for he knows that looking good is an advantage with the ladies.

He also doesn't give a s**t about what women think of him - you got it right for thinking that.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Krassus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 20, 2003
Messages
1,386
Reaction score
17
Location
Here
Originally posted by bobby87
I then tell her, so if someone is fat they should just stay fat and not try to lose weight as they will come out as 'insecure'. She then said 'yeh, people should just accept themselves for who they are'.
I don't result to blatant insults too often, but... this girl is a moron.
 

DJDamage

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 6, 2004
Messages
5,657
Reaction score
104
Location
Canada
Never talk with a chick or any guy for that matter on your "personal grooming" habits unless its a haircut.

Its your personal business and nobody elses. You choose to share what you do with her so I am not surprised she looked at you funny.
 

Jariel

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2004
Messages
4,413
Reaction score
296
Location
UK
Re: Re: Does improving your look make you come out as insecure?

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Ever consider SHE is the one that is insecure. You're taking more pride in yourself than she does in herself. People usually snipe at others when someone seems to be pulling away from them in a positive way by bettering themselves. Hopefully you aren't letting her hold you back.
Wise words and so true. Had this happen with my ex-girlfriend and various "friends".

I consider insecurity hiding your faults rather than self-improvement.
 

the12thplanet

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 9, 2005
Messages
85
Reaction score
0
Age
40
Originally posted by DJDamage
Never talk with a chick or any guy for that matter on your "personal grooming" habits unless its a haircut.

Its your personal business and nobody elses. You choose to share what you do with her so I am not surprised she looked at you funny.
quoted for truth. be as vain as you want, just dont talk about it.:cool:
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
Originally posted by the12thplanet
quoted for truth. be as vain as you want, just dont talk about it.:cool:
:eek: "I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts...." :p

Hey, I was singing...
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

bobby87

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 23, 2004
Messages
34
Reaction score
0
Age
39
funny thing is the girl is vain herself. i can just see from the way she does her hair and makeup she puts in a lot of time.

i dont think she insecure with herself as she is very hot. she was probably just testing me out, but i didnt fall for it
 

Qmanchoo

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 2, 2005
Messages
188
Reaction score
1
Location
Boston, MA
I dont think she insecure with herself as she is very hot.
You'd be surprised how many girls who you think are hot think of themselves as average, or how many girls that you think are hot are very insecure about their looks.

I just graduated college about 4 months ago and after experiencing the bar scene there for years I have to say that most women are not secure with themselves, don't have high self esteem, and don't have their act together. Really. Maybe women are different in Boston than other areas of the country, we've been known to be overly pessismistic.
 

Mister Big

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 19, 2005
Messages
192
Reaction score
0
Location
Philadelphia, PA
Most women wash themselves in perfumed soaps, exfoliate their skin daily, pluck their eyebrows, wax their bodies, paint their faces with tons of makeup, lengthen their eyelashes, spend a lot of time styling their hair, shop often for the best clothes (even those we'll only see if we sleep with them), dose themselves with perfume, get their nails done, color and highlight their hair, the list goes on and on and on. No woman has any right to judge our grooming behavior by comparison. The average woman's grooming would seem unbelievably extreme even compared to a full blown metrosexual's standards. Every woman should realize that if they spent half of their grooming time hitting the gym and eating right, they would all be hotter to us and a lot healthier. Their obsession about appearance is text book obsessive compulsive disorder with a touch of old fashioned lazy b*tch thrown into the mix.

Do whatever grooming makes you healthier and feel better about yourself, and ignore their idiotic discussions about it to avoid getting the OCD yourself. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.
 

Mister Big

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 19, 2005
Messages
192
Reaction score
0
Location
Philadelphia, PA
Originally posted by Jus_LikeCandy
Oh my god!! Another philadelphian!!
Yo Candyman!
ya talkin to me. forgitaboutit. ha, ha

Not born here, but grew up around the area and just moved back. I live just south of the city and work close to Baltimore which is nice logistically. I love philly and try to get out each to NYC, Baltimore, and DC at least every other month. I expect that living here is the best area to tap into huge ###### of chicks within a 50 mile radius. I am starting my boot camp to develop my cold approaches after next weekend.

It should be insane in the membrane.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Top