"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Does flaking = automatic write off

TheBigShow

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Hey Don Juan's!

I'm interested to hear your thoughts on how to act when a girls flakes on a date...

Do you cut it off then and there, or give her a second chance?

Im in a situation where I wouldn't mind going out with a girl...but she flaked on our meeting. She did apologise and ask to try again...would you say yes or make her sweat it out?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Harry Wilmington

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If she flakes, she's OUT.

I swear, guys must think girls have Alzheimer's disease when it comes to remembering dates. When they get a new job, even if it starts a month from when they got hired, they remember to show up. They buy tickets for a concert months in advance, yet remember to show up to it. They hear about a party happening that's 2 months away and are the first to sign up for the guest list and be there at the designated time...

And yet, you ask a girl out 2 days in advance, and you buy into the excuse that she forgot about it??? :crackup:

Flaking = low-to-no interest. C'mon, maaaan! You think she's going to forget about something as important as meeting the potential love of her life?? Only if she's not interested!
 

casaanova

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You can give her another chance, but she has to make up for that flake. Whether she pays for the date, cooks you dinner, or does the driving, she has to right that wrong in some way. If she refuses to do so or she flakes again, then she wasn't that interested in you anyway, and you can move on to the next one.
 

zinc4

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TheBigShow said:
Hey Don Juan's!

I'm interested to hear your thoughts on how to act when a girls flakes on a date...

Do you cut it off then and there, or give her a second chance?

Im in a situation where I wouldn't mind going out with a girl...but she flaked on our meeting. She did apologise and ask to try again...would you say yes or make her sweat it out?

If she offered another time and gave a good reason then try one more time.......

Let me explain....i just flaked recently on a new girl that i met and she didn't give me another chance after i flaked probably because she is beta as hell and it offended her pride...but i had a legit reason that popped up out of no where...if she offere another time then it would be stupid to not accept unless you don't like her....if she doesn't offer another time then NEXT.
 

TheBigShow

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casaanova said:
You can give her another chance, but she has to make up for that flake. Whether she pays for the date, cooks you dinner, or does the driving, she has to right that wrong in some way. If she refuses to do so or she flakes again, then she wasn't that interested in you anyway, and you can move on to the next one.

I agree totally with that! But I guess proceed warily...this girl is cute, funny & gives the perception of high interest level (always sends lengthy texts with heaps of ;)'s or !!!'s and all that stuff)

So the the flake really p*ssed me off! I'm considering accepting, then flaking on her last minute to even the playing field again. Is that just spiteful?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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HedoRick

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I would honestly play it cool and give her one more chance. Two strike rule is golden for me. I've met up with some girls that flaked on me the first time for a legitamate reason(illnesses, etc). Truth is at least she let you know that she wasn't going to make it. A true flaky flake doesen't even text to let you know that she won't be there. Radio silence is the kind of flakes that piss me off.
 

Trump

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TheBigShow said:
Hey Don Juan's!

I'm interested to hear your thoughts on how to act when a girls flakes on a date...

Do you cut it off then and there, or give her a second chance?

Im in a situation where I wouldn't mind going out with a girl...but she flaked on our meeting. She did apologise and ask to try again...would you say yes or make her sweat it out?
Depends on the reason for flaking. Traffic accident, grandma passed away, OK. Any emotional reasons, would say no.

I don't think a girl ever "sweats it out" in wanting to meet you, unless you are a movie star.
 

DragonBlood

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If she asked for a second chance or wanted to choose a different day give her a second chance. After that though if she flakes she has pretty much blown it.
 

bigneil

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If she provides a raincheck it's ok but make her work for it a little more. If she's never flaked before it is a bad sign in which case you go NC and force her to initiate.
 

TheBigShow

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In this case it's a definite NC. Ill keep the option open if she contacts me but the balls in her court.

On a side note of NC...man Facebook is annoying...just as you forget about her BAM...she's on you news feed argh!
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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