"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Does EVERY pretty girl have a boyfriend?

Mad Manic

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Nip/Tuck said:
The thread starter is fooling himself. Every day there are 18,000 girls who turn 18 in each state. Let's say 10% of them are so called "Cute/Hot" the 8-10 on the "rating scale." That's about 900 girls, I don't think every single one of them have boy friends. Anyways, it's so easy to steal girlfriends from American dudes. No offense, but the majority don't have a clue and become very insecure/ clingy when they face competition.
Yes but we're looking for a girl in the region where one lives. I also wouldn't say the BFs of the hot girls are clueless either. They must be doing things right to some extent, clearly. If it's so easy there wouldn't be so many good looking single guys.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

comic_relief

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Nip/Tuck said:
The thread starter is fooling himself. Every day there are 18,000 girls who turn 18 in each state. Let's say 10% of them are so called "Cute/Hot" the 8-10 on the "rating scale." That's about 900 girls, I don't think every single one of them have boy friends. Anyways, it's so easy to steal girlfriends from American dudes. No offense, but the majority don't have a clue and become very insecure/ clingy when they face competition.
yeah, basically. Even using math and numbers it still does not make sense.

As to the competition part, tell us what you think that we should do?

Personally, I make friends with them, but I know a lot of guys that are idiots and "forbid their girls" from hanging out with male friends/competition.

comic_relief
 

drak_ool

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Mad Manic said:
I'm really happy for you that hot women walk up to you in bars and the street etc. and ask you for sex. Well done. :)
cause that s what guys do, right? they just walk up to a woman and "ask her for sex"? no, they APPROACH and, depending on their game/looks a woman will decide to do something with them or not

yes, i have women APPROACH me when i go out. Do i just hook up with anyone of them out of desperation or because even though she looks average, her "value is raised by society"?

NO! because i m not desperate, because if i don't find the girl i want in a bar when i leave i still have a couple options one phone call away. That s why the advice you ll get from any experienced DJ is always "spin plates", keep all your options open. That way you can afford to be picky and you won't have to settle for scraps.

remember, whether women's value is raised by society or no doesn't matter. what matters is whether YOU raise their value, whether YOU put them on a pedestal
 

Mad Manic

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drak_ool said:
cause that s what guys do, right? they just walk up to a woman and "ask her for sex"? no, they APPROACH and, depending on their game/looks a woman will decide to do something with them or not

yes, i have women APPROACH me when i go out. Do i just hook up with anyone of them out of desperation or because even though she looks average, her "value is raised by society"?

NO! because i m not desperate, because if i don't find the girl i want in a bar when i leave i still have a couple options one phone call away. That s why the advice you ll get from any experienced DJ is always "spin plates", keep all your options open. That way you can afford to be picky and you won't have to settle for scraps.

remember, whether women's value is raised by society or no doesn't matter. what matters is whether YOU raise their value, whether YOU put them on a pedestal
Yes agreed, and yes I don't see women as higher value species when actually interacting. I'm still quite picky and won't go below a HB6.
 

comic_relief

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drak_ool said:
cause that s what guys do, right? they just walk up to a woman and "ask her for sex"? no, they APPROACH and, depending on their game/looks a woman will decide to do something with them or not

yes, i have women APPROACH me when i go out. Do i just hook up with anyone of them out of desperation or because even though she looks average, her "value is raised by society"?

NO! because i m not desperate, because if i don't find the girl i want in a bar when i leave i still have a couple options one phone call away. That s why the advice you ll get from any experienced DJ is always "spin plates", keep all your options open. That way you can afford to be picky and you won't have to settle for scraps.

remember, whether women's value is raised by society or no doesn't matter. what matters is whether YOU raise their value, whether YOU put them on a pedestal
best damn post on this thread.

That is beautiful and what i have been trying to get across.

comic_relief
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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DonGorgon

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Nip/Tuck said:
The thread starter is fooling himself. Every day there are 18,000 girls who turn 18 in each state. Let's say 10% of them are so called "Cute/Hot" the 8-10 on the "rating scale." That's about 900 girls, I don't think every single one of them have boy friends. Anyways, it's so easy to steal girlfriends from American dudes. No offense, but the majority don't have a clue and become very insecure/ clingy when they face competition.
^^^the exrtreme optimist... often looks at only the good side of the picture...
 
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plenty of chicks have boyfriends, that doesn't mean they're fair play too.
 

Joe The Homophobe

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shop until I die! said:
plenty of chicks have boyfriends, that doesn't mean they're fair play too.
I don't agree with taking girls from their bfs BUT, we shouldn't say the word "fair play." A girlfriend is a disposable romantic partner. She is not your wife, not your property, she has not signed a contract, or yet swore allegiance in the yes of the Lord to be with you till death do you part. Women are fair play unless they are married.

So really, it is fair play but it doesn't mean it is morally right. You can go hunt a deer, fair play, but does it make it right to kill an innocent animal for fun?
 

Shyguy2003

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every PRETTY girl has a boyfriend, or two, or three. ****, how else would they get such big ego's and act like they are the ****? as long as a girl is pretty, she has it made. if by some chance she is single, don't believe there isn't a line of guys from the east coast to the west coast vying for her attention that she can't choose at any time. men don't have this, unless they have lots of money and fame, that's it, but he still has to do the pursuing. If you compare an equally attractive woman to an equally attractive man, the woman will attract way more people everytime.
 

Lord Shinra

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And so what? If they like to walk around as if they eat coal and sh!t diamonds, no biggie.

I just bring them up to my level and remind them that they rip ass in their sleep as well. A "boyfriend" or a "I'm seeing somebody" has never stopped me. I could care less what some schmuck is doing, I'm in this for me.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Mad Manic

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Lord Shinra said:
A "boyfriend" or a "I'm seeing somebody" has never stopped me. I could care less what some schmuck is doing, I'm in this for me.
Not stopped you from going for her, yes, but the situation in which she's pursued so much that she's rarely single and thus to 'get her' is very hard, exists nontheless. And I'm sure you'd rather not get the bf line, we all know it's either a no-go area or hassle from there.
 

mongolboy

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What makes you better than all these other guys? thas the mentality you gots 2 have and show it to her. Just basically you gotta be better than in all around everythng from those other guys she is seeing because why should she look at u when there is 10 other guys with hot bod's chasing after her nam sayin? So gotta get some value or replication value :p either intelligence, looks and etc. AM I RIGHT =P
 

Mad Manic

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mongolboy said:
What makes you better than all these other guys? thas the mentality you gots 2 have and show it to her. Just basically you gotta be better than in all around everythng from those other guys she is seeing because why should she look at u when there is 10 other guys with hot bod's chasing after her nam sayin? So gotta get some value or replication value :p either intelligence, looks and etc. AM I RIGHT =P
Exactly. Although I disagree that intelligence is seen as a positive, not on it's own anyway. Usually a negative even if subconsciously.

MM
 

SunnyD

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Shyguy2003 said:
every PRETTY girl has a boyfriend, or two, or three. ****, how else would they get such big ego's and act like they are the ****? as long as a girl is pretty, she has it made. if by some chance she is single, don't believe there isn't a line of guys from the east coast to the west coast vying for her attention that she can't choose at any time. men don't have this, unless they have lots of money and fame, that's it, but he still has to do the pursuing. If you compare an equally attractive woman to an equally attractive man, the woman will attract way more people everytime.
How do you figure??? Did anyone even read my post back on page 8, 9 or 10??? Why does a girl being "pretty" automatically mean she has a bf?? Contrary to popular belief, we don't just snap our fingers and *poof* there's a bf. I've been single for 4 years (minus a FWB during 2/3 of that time) but a) I didnt want a bf because I had just gotten out of a bad relationship, and b) I am not overly picky but I have some standards and I haven't found another guy I want to date. I can guarantee you there is nothing wrong with me at all physically or emotionally (for the most part emotionally..I mean everyone has some baggage.) People are always shocked to hear I don't have a bf (or for that matter, not married because I am 28) but hell...I'm not going to just get a bf because "I can" or because its expected.

Don't assume so much.
 

Maxtro

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Uh SunnyD you just said that you don't have a BF because you don't want one and you haven't found another guy that you wanted to date.

As was stated many times in this thread, the only reason that a girl is single for a long period of time is because she wants to be. Heck even when you were single you were still getting sex. Men who are single for a long period of time usually are that way by no choice of their own. No man chooses to go without sex.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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SunnyD

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Well during the period of time that I didn't have a bf, I didn't want one. Now I would like to get into a relationship again and I have for the last several months. By saying I can't find a guy isn't saying I don't want one. It's saying I CAN'T FIND ONE. Haha. I get pursued but not a lot, and like I said...there's nothing wrong with me at all.
 

ketostix

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SunnyD said:
Well during the period of time that I didn't have a bf, I didn't want one. Now I would like to get into a relationship again and I have for the last several months. By saying I can't find a guy isn't saying I don't want one. It's saying I CAN'T FIND ONE. Haha. I get pursued but not a lot, and like I said...there's nothing wrong with me at all.
Well just about any woman who wants a BF but can't get one has to have something wrong with her. First off the only criteria a lot of males have is she has to be not totally ugly and not totally insane. So if that only leaves being too picky. You even admitted you're being pursued, that's better than what over 90% of guys have. You probably think your BF has to be Brad Pitt.
 

SunnyD

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ketostix said:
Well just about any woman who wants a BF but can't get one has to have something wrong with her. First off the only criteria a lot of males have is she has to be not totally ugly and not totally insane. So if that only leaves being too picky. You even admitted you're being pursued, that's better than what over 90% of guys have. You probably think your BF has to be Brad Pitt.
No no at all, honestly. I'm not looking for a guy that makes a ton of a money or a guy that looks like Brd Pitt. I'm just looking for, as bad as it sounds...the male version of me..haha. I don't know what the problem, like I explained in a way earlier post...I'm "one of the guys" and that has always been a problem for me. If anyone here is on plentyoffish...I'd give you my profile id so you can see I'm not sitting here bull****ting you saying nothing is wrong with me. Maybe you could the prof. out and tell me what it is then, because I don't get it, my friends don't get it..and even ex-bf's don't get.

*shrugs*
 
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Mad Manic said:
Exactly. Although I disagree that intelligence is seen as a positive, not on it's own anyway. Usually a negative even if subconsciously.

MM
Could you elaborate ? I don't get it.
 

Mad Manic

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Midnight Carnival said:
Could you elaborate ? I don't get it.
A study was done looking at the IQ's of guys and their sexual activity level. The optimal IQ for getting laid was slightly below the mean IQ, after the mean value the sex rate dropped considerably. (Age range was 18-25 ish I think).

So that means guys that are 'slightly thick' are the most sexually active. This agrees with what we see in real life. Maths/Physics/Engineering etc students are always single and the guys doing arts subjects and 'doss' subjects have some more fun.

MM
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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