MatureDJ
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2006
- Messages
- 12,678
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She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
TLDR,
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
spittin factsOn the real though, the idea of a woman introducing me to her kids is a major erection-killer...... Even worse is that single mothers never shut up about their d@mn kids. The few that I've delt with always talk about their kids' soccer games, or how their kids are on the honor roll, or how their kid is a learning piano, or yadda yadda yadda yadda......
I won't even entertain the thought of a single mother anymore.....
EDIT::: I'll tell you what's even more annoying - it's when she introduces me to her mother who's babysitting the kids while I take her out and I get vetted by the mother on whether or not I'd make a suitable step-father....... like wtf.....???? Grandma is grilling me like it's a damn job interview, and btw, it's an interview for a job I don't want..... I ain't gonna raise another man's kids.....
I'd honestly rather visit a ho0ker or an escort than to deal with single mothers and all the drama they cause.... It's guaranteed sex and zero drama.....
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
That's beyond brutal.EDIT::: I'll tell you what's even more annoying - it's when she introduces me to her mother who's babysitting the kids while I take her out and I get vetted by the mother on whether or not I'd make a suitable step-father....... like wtf.....???? Grandma is grilling me like it's a damn job interview, and btw, it's an interview for a job I don't want..... I ain't gonna raise another man's kids.....
That frequency of sex is not worth the hassle.She finds herself a "nice guy" with more money. Gives him starfish sex once a month at best.
1. In a different context, job candidates always blame their employer for why they were laid off or fired. I would suspect in a lot more of those cases, it is actually true, because a lot of employers are inept. Much of the time, an individual employee's success at a company has much to do with the infrastructure in place at the company rather than anything the employee does or does not do. In general, it is human nature to absolve yourself of responsibility from a failure.They often spin the divorce or breakup to make it look like the guy's fault and at first I gave them the benefit of the doubt but the more I got to know them, I realized their ex's definitely made the right decision in breaking it off with them.
Single mom's also tend to use their kids as an excuse to get out of things so their time could appear to be busy. There will be some time when this will be legitimate but always look out for cases you feel is suspicious and next her if you suspect it.
She's probably gonna cheat on you with her ex in that case.Also look to see what kind of existing relationship she has with her ex. If she's on good terms with her ex, there's a chance she can be a decent person.
My $.02
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.