Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
If a guy has seriously solid photos, then going for meetup on first message can work.. also I'd say that is more doable in bigger cities like NYC, etc. For guys with photos that are less than amazing, we've found the best ratio of time invested vs results is a FEW messages back and forth, like 3 or 4 messages, then close for number/ get together. I also feel that if you're only getting girls that give the number on first message, you're filtering out some of the higher quality women that need a little more conversation before giving up the number.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Yeah you made a great point I neglected to mention.. a guy doesn't have to be AMAZING looking to have AMAZING photos. There is a big difference. Any guy can express that his lifestyle is social, fun, and awesome to be a part of through photos. If you are fit, dress well, great looking, then you're life will be alittle easier, but I have clients that are legit model looking guys (no homo lol) yet had horrible boring photos and no skills at closing for meetups, etc.
That certainly may be the best advice for most guys. But for what it's worth, I do the opposite. I exchange a lot of messages with girls right away, and I use that to filter out the ones who seem the least interested in sex. Written communication is my strong point, and I will typically have a girl talking to me about sex before we have met. With other girls, they just need to exchange a lot of mundane text messages in order to be comfortable enough to fvck on the first date.
Thanks man! Yeah me and my team are definitely passionate about helping our clients out, its hugely rewarding when you get them results they previously thought were impossible. We often go above and beyond what they pay for and spend extra time explaining to them how to text, set up dates with high chances of success, and overall get the right mindset.. an abundance mindset instead of a scarcity, fear based one. The link to my site is in my signature if you're curious enough to check it out