Does “I’ll let you know” mean the same thing when you’ve been dating someone as it does when you first ask them out?

Robert28

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#1
My friend and I had this debate today about a girl he’s been seeing. He asked me about hanging out this weekend and I said “what about that girl you been seeing?” to which he replied “oh I asked her about doing something this weekend but she said I’ll definately let you know”. I tried to tell him that was bull**** because it doesn’t matter if it’s the first date or you been dating a month, that’s the ultimate slap in the face. I’m trying to tell him to not let her off the hook about this, don’t call or text her and when she responds tell her you have plans already no matter what. If she goes the whole weekend and you don’t hear from her and she comes around Monday like nothing ever happened then you dump her ass. He’s saying I’m reading too much into it but I don’t think I am. What do y’all think?
 
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#2
My friend and I had this debate today about a girl he’s been seeing. He asked me about hanging out this weekend and I said “what about that girl you been seeing?” to which he replied “oh I asked her about doing something this weekend but she said I’ll definately let you know”. I tried to tell him that was bull**** because it doesn’t matter if it’s the first date or you been dating a month, that’s the ultimate slap in the face. I’m trying to tell him to not let her off the hook about this, don’t call or text her and when she responds tell her you have plans already no matter what. If she goes the whole weekend and you don’t hear from her and she comes around Monday like nothing ever happened then you dump her ass. He’s saying I’m reading too much into it but I don’t think I am. What do y’all think?
No to low interest in seeing the dude again. We've all been there. No further contact and if she reached out, I'd probably say I'm busy or ghost. Been there a time or two. One even popped up two months later (I posted here that one). NEXT.
 

Robert28

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#3
No to low interest in seeing the dude again. We've all been there. No further contact and if she reached out, I'd probably say I'm busy or ghost. Been there a time or two. One even popped up two months later (I posted here that one). NEXT.
Well I think he’s been seeing this girl a little over a month or so, so I was like damn that’s messed up. It wasn’t a first date type thing that’s why I wasn’t sure if it meant the same or not. Still came off as a major red flag though that he needs to grab his balls and stand up to her over it. I told him to ghost but he was like “I can’t do that, I been seeing her too long”.
 
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#4
Well I think he’s been seeing this girl a little over a month or so, so I was like damn that’s messed up. It wasn’t a first date type thing that’s why I wasn’t sure if it meant the same or not. Still came off as a major red flag though that he needs to grab his balls and stand up to her over it. I told him to ghost but he was like “I can’t do that, I been seeing her too long”.
Did he fvck her yet? Assuming he'll tell the truth, of course. Lol.
 

Robert28

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#5
Did he fvck her yet? Assuming he'll tell the truth, of course. Lol.
Have no clue. I’ve never met the girl yet, just seen a couple pics of them on Facebook together. If he has or hasn’t I don’t think it would matter, that’s still messed up to say that to someone you been seeing.
 

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#6
Have no clue. I’ve never met the girl yet, just seen a couple pics of them on Facebook together. If he has or hasn’t I don’t think it would matter, that’s still messed up to say that to someone you been seeing.
A lady's attraction is either there or it's not. A few weeks back I met up with this lady. We had a okay time, but no end of 1st date kiss, even though she walked me to the car, no text after the date and we when did connect again, she said she'd let me know. I said cool, looking forward in seeing you again. Silence. It's just part of the game. Fvcking with two others right now. Never give one your complete attention, ever.

Hope he's not giving his hopes up and just spinning wheels instead of spinning plates.
 

Grewd

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#7
Let's look at the alternatives here. She could have a good reason to not make plans. However, it's odd not mention what that reason is if there is a good one. The other alternative is that she lost interest, but as we so often see with both men and women, just won't fvcking say it as it is. I think it's way more likely she lost interest and you're right, but a certainty it is not. She could also just be playing games, just for the sake of it, just like lots of guys do. Make him wait, it will make him more attracted and all that BS.

I think it's fvcking stupid to play games like ghosting and pretending you have plans/can't change plans. It's the same sh!t, which is not saying it like it is. So I don't agree with the way you'd handle it, too much beating around the bush.

There's one simple thing he could do, that's to ask her the reason she needs to keep her time free. No reason, bad reason or unconvincing reason will remove the possibility of a good reason. That leaves silly games and loss of interest. Sometimes when asked this question they may straight up admit loss of interest (has happened to me), so that would rule out silly games. If not, then who the fvck cares which one it is? Both silly games and loss of interest should not be accepted.

Even if my GF after 1 year left me hanging about making plans for the weekend I'd be very skeptical, especially for no good reason. What could possibly be more important than having a good time with the guy she likes a lot?
 

Robert28

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#8
Let's look at the alternatives here. She could have a good reason to not make plans. However, it's odd not mention what that reason is if there is a good one. The other alternative is that she lost interest, but as we so often see with both men and women, just won't fvcking say it as it is. I think it's way more likely she lost interest and you're right, but a certainty it is not. She could also just be playing games, just for the sake of it, just like lots of guys do. Make him wait, it will make him more attracted and all that BS.

I think it's fvcking stupid to play games like ghosting and pretending you have plans/can't change plans. It's the same sh!t, which is not saying it like it is. So I don't agree with the way you'd handle it, too much beating around the bush.

There's one simple thing he could do, that's to ask her the reason she needs to keep her time free. No reason, bad reason or unconvincing reason will remove the possibility of a good reason. That leaves silly games and loss of interest. Sometimes when asked this question they may straight up admit loss of interest (has happened to me), so that would rule out silly games. If not, then who the fvck cares which one it is? Both silly games and loss of interest should not be accepted.

Even if my GF after 1 year left me hanging about making plans for the weekend I'd be very skeptical, especially for no good reason. What could possibly be more important than having a good time with the guy she likes a lot?
Well the thing about asking her the reason is he wouldn’t get a straight answer anyways, only a 10% chance it was the real reason anyways. I wanted to tell him she was seeing someone else but I didn’t habe any proof, just a gut feeling. Worse than that she’s a single mom of 2 and he’s admitted to buying her stuff like clothes and shoes and took her grocery shopping once. He’s the type guy that loves to find these crap women like this and then they spend years using his dumbass. I didn’t tell him but I know this girl will contact him by Monday like nothing ever happened, just to make sure he wasn’t mad and didn’t get away on her while she was out riding on another c0ck. I’m trying to figure out a way to get him to bail on her but it’s like talking to the wind. Hell I seemed more upset about the whole thing than he did.lol
 

Robert28

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#9
A lady's attraction is either there or it's not. A few weeks back I met up with this lady. We had a okay time, but no end of 1st date kiss, even though she walked me to the car, no text after the date and we when did connect again, she said she'd let me know. I said cool, looking forward in seeing you again. Silence. It's just part of the game. Fvcking with two others right now. Never give one your complete attention, ever.

Hope he's not giving his hopes up and just spinning wheels instead of spinning plates.
Oh he’s not the type that spins plates at all. He’s always zeroed in on one girl and put up with bs for months and even years before they basically have to set his ass on fire for him to get a hint.
 
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#10
Oh he’s not the type that spins plates at all. He’s always zeroed in on one girl and put up with bs for months and even years before they basically have to set his ass on fire for him to get a hint.
Buying things already? Dude.. She's not even sucked him off and he's already wrapped around her finger. The best you can do is back off and eat some popcorn while it plays out. No dinner until after fvcking. No gifts at least until after 3 months; and small cheap less than $20.00 gifts at that. He's lost.
 
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Mauser96

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#11
My friend and I had this debate today about a girl he’s been seeing. He asked me about hanging out this weekend and I said “what about that girl you been seeing?” to which he replied “oh I asked her about doing something this weekend but she said I’ll definately let you know”. I tried to tell him that was bull**** because it doesn’t matter if it’s the first date or you been dating a month, that’s the ultimate slap in the face. I’m trying to tell him to not let her off the hook about this, don’t call or text her and when she responds tell her you have plans already no matter what. If she goes the whole weekend and you don’t hear from her and she comes around Monday like nothing ever happened then you dump her ass. He’s saying I’m reading too much into it but I don’t think I am. What do y’all think?

I am with you 100%
 

Robert28

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#12
Buying things already? Dude.. She's not even sucked him off and he's already wrapped around her finger. The best you can do is back off and eat some popcorn while it plays out. No dinner until after fvcking. No gifts at least until after 3 months; and small cheap less than $20.00 gifts at that. He's lost.
Well he will act like he agrees with me and then the girl will come blow my advice out the water. It’s hapoened countless times. You can’t help those that don’t want help. Hell I got a text when I was with him earlier from a girl that ghosted on me months ago and she wanted to get a drink tonight. I said “watch how I handle this”. Deleted text, put phone in pocket.lol
 

Grewd

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#13
Well the thing about asking her the reason is he wouldn’t get a straight answer anyways, only a 10% chance it was the real reason anyways.
The point isn't to get a real reason, the point is to get a reason. He would most likely not receive a good and believable reason, thus it's a good way to remove doubt and not act blindly. In any case it's never a bad idea to fish out more information, the more you know the better decisions you'll make. This is a general rule, but it won't apply to this specific situation in light of new information, I'll get to why further down.

I wanted to tell him she was seeing someone else but I didn’t habe any proof, just a gut feeling.
Yeah, those types of assumptions are bad. It's irrelevant what else she's doing. The fact that she puts him that far down on the priority list is bad enough by itself. I'd say it's just as bad if she was just staying at home doing nothing, the main problem is just as bad as if she was hopping around on random d!cks, because the problem is still her lack of interest.

Worse than that she’s a single mom of 2 and he’s admitted to buying her stuff like clothes and shoes and took her grocery shopping once.
This is why the general rule I mentioned wouldn't make much of a difference. This important piece of information that you delayed sharing makes the probability of this being a case of her losing interest way way higher. Just 1 month?! Buying clothes, shoes and other stuff for her?! Yeah, she's definitely just using him and now she wants to hop on to the next poor sucker. A woman who's worth keeping wouldn't allow receiving that after such a short time knowing each other.
 

Robert28

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#14
The point isn't to get a real reason, the point is to get a reason. He would most likely not receive a good and believable reason, thus it's a good way to remove doubt and not act blindly. In any case it's never a bad idea to fish out more information, the more you know the better decisions you'll make. This is a general rule, but it won't apply to this specific situation in light of new information, I'll get to why further down.


Yeah, those types of assumptions are bad. It's irrelevant what else she's doing. The fact that she puts him that far down on the priority list is bad enough by itself. I'd say it's just as bad if she was just staying at home doing nothing, the main problem is just as bad as if she was hopping around on random d!cks, because the problem is still her lack of interest.


This is why the general rule I mentioned wouldn't make much of a difference. This important piece of information that you delayed sharing makes the probability of this being a case of her losing interest way way higher. Just 1 month?! Buying clothes, shoes and other stuff for her?! Yeah, she's definitely just using him and now she wants to hop on to the next poor sucker. A woman who's worth keeping wouldn't allow receiving that after such a short time knowing each other.
Well even so, the fact that she couldn’t send him a text ALL day and yet I have some hoe that ghosted me months ago that took the time to send me a text wanting to meet for drinks? That’s what I tried to tell him, I was like “dude it takes 2 seconds to send a text and you been on how many dates with her and bought her all this ****? She better text you like it’s her damn job!”. I don’t know the whole story about the buying her stuff just what he told me but yeah that’s still way too early. She’s not going anywhere though, I know girls like this. I know she’s going to say just enough come Monday to keep him coming around and I was just trying to instill a little spine in him so maybe he’d be like “I’ll let YOU know” when she tries to make some bs plans in the next few days (cause she will).
 

Robert28

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#15
I thought it would be funny to teach him how to properly play her but he doesn’t have the game for that. I could have a damn field day with this girl! Maybe he will let me text her if I’m around next time she texts him.lol
 
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Trump

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#17
If he has or hasn’t I don’t think it would matter, that’s still messed up to say that to someone you been seeing.
It totally matters. You can’t take any girl seriously unless she has slept with you.

‘I’ll definitely let you know.” and you haven’t slept with the girl, it’s not important.
‘I’ll definitely let you know.” and you have slept with the girl, it’s a problem.
 

Robert28

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#18
Its a string along. Probably, maybe, w3 will see, ill let you know.
I tried to tell him into ghosting her. Month or no month he doesn’t owe her a damn thing at this point. Let last time she talked to him be the last time but she won’t know it yet. Then sit back and drink beer while her head explodes.lol
 

Robert28

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#19
It totally matters. You can’t take any girl seriously unless she has slept with you.

‘I’ll definitely let you know.” and you haven’t slept with the girl, it’s not important.
‘I’ll definitely let you know.” and you have slept with the girl, it’s a problem.
Well I don’t know if he has or hasn’t. Still though whether he’s slept with her or not she still obviously doesn’t respect him.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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#20
My friend and I had this debate today about a girl he’s been seeing. He asked me about hanging out this weekend and I said “what about that girl you been seeing?” to which he replied “oh I asked her about doing something this weekend but she said I’ll definately let you know”. I tried to tell him that was bull**** because it doesn’t matter if it’s the first date or you been dating a month, that’s the ultimate slap in the face. I’m trying to tell him to not let her off the hook about this, don’t call or text her and when she responds tell her you have plans already no matter what. If she goes the whole weekend and you don’t hear from her and she comes around Monday like nothing ever happened then you dump her ass. He’s saying I’m reading too much into it but I don’t think I am. What do y’all think?
I'll let you know = downgrade to booty call!

For 110% of guys, most of which sit when they pee, i highly suggest losing her #. Wait and see is not "hell ya." its seeding her optimising hypergamy on steroids.

Op, lead by example. Show him the way. Dont talk about it. Pickup /dj/playboy Lifestyle is fight club. The 1st 2 rules are you do not talk about it.

I can teach you more about game by pulling and going ass to mouth then i can telling you in circle jerk fashion.

When you experience female logic, ho get more girls. The following is the best teacher and path forward.
 
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