Doctor House M.D. symptoms! Advice?

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

He's anti-social... VERY witty + sarcastic, a natural jerk... he hates small talk... and when conversation comes up he likes to analyze the people he speaks with.

This is my favorite show.

No this isn't a tip/advice thread.

I'm starting to feel like this guy though...

I absolutely HATE small talk... I have already improved on it long time ago when I came here... but I just HATE it. I only like talking about how people feel about things and what they think of things -- not clothes or the weather. The only reason I'd talk about clothes is when I'm thinking "hmm... they're wearing that because... hmm they're trying to blah blah" or something like that.

I come across as a jerk because I can analyze people when I meet them... or if i already know them... I can figure most people out talking to them face-to-face. Or i come across as a jerk because I don't care about their day... since I only like deeper things.

I'm witty... and am always sarcastic.

The only time I'm friendly is when I'm faking it... or something actually interests or amuses me... or if I am totally comfortable with the person.

And like House, as you guys can tell from my posts, my wittiness and sarcasm and jokes... nobody gets it... it's rude or has bad taste, or jsut to damn smart.

Having been here for so long, and the girl that made me find this site... I feel like I can't like anybody unless they're hot and have the perfect personality... I feel that I have a male-"b*tch-shield" that keeps me far enough to not get emotionally hurt and back off easily... but close enough for them to think I'm a jerk from my male-"b*tch-shield".

I also tend to subtly try to make all my "could-be relationships" into the relationship with the girl that made me find this site.

---

I analyze people alot, yes. But I don't think I'm over-analyzing this... since I've always been like this... but I'm just NOW asking about it.

I'm posting this because a girl that I've known FOREVER gave me good "IOI's" two weeks ago to since I started seeing her every Sunday (begging of March)... but made up a valid and true excuse why she can't hangout last weekend... but I keep bailing early and always thinking... "oh whatever... yeah right... never talking to you again... BYE!"

I'm familiar with everything on this site. Don't feed me any straight out of the bible trash.

If you know what I'm talking about and feeling... I'd like to know your suggestions.

*****I'm NOT asking about the girl issue, I can handle that on my own once I find my personal problem*****

No harsh criticism, especially if it's about the girl issue. Constructive criticism please. Just don't bother posting if it's useless please.

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

bump

 

[Fred Da Head]

As for the jokes being "jsut to damn smart", you may want to think about using proper spelling ("jsut") and grammar ("too") if you're going to say stuff like that. It just makes you look bad otherwise. =/

I think you might have heard of the concept of "typos," or typographical errors, which happen when someone is typing quickly.

As for the OP, I find myself in much the same situation. I don't think there's an easy solution. Personally, I'm generally polite and I try to avoid dry wit with those who obviously wouldn't get it (read: most people). My problem mostly lies with making obscure references to literature or philosophy, or even to art in general, and not so much in making jokes that people don't get. (RDRR, anyone?)

I think you have to just "dumb yourself down" and learn to enjoy the moment. Heck, study the group dynamic by being in it, rather than by removing yourself from it. When you're sitting down with a group of people and jokes are flying and all that, try and throw in a few "stupid" lines and make small talk--even if you're faking it.

One thing I've noticed is that a lot of people who are like you describe and how I am, is that we tend to look down at other people who we feel are "less intelligent" or are, for some reason, "inferior" to us. Something that greatly helps is to realize that not everyone wants to be smart and even those who want to, maybe haven't had the chance to learn as much as we have and exercise that brain. Also, just because people make small talk and generally talk about superficial and "stupid" things, doesn't mean they're not open and interested to "deeper" subjects. Some people I know and have started to hang out with, for example, generally talk about petty things, but sometimes we launch into discussions about philosophy or other deep things.

Now that the overanalyzing is over, I'd say that all you can really do is learn to live in the moment, appreciate people and life in general for what they are, and stop analyzing everything. Analyzing is good if you're discussing the difference between Montesquieu and Pascal; not so much if you're talking to someone you're trying to get to know better.

Cynicism is a powerful weapon to distance yourself from the mess that is post-modernity, but it is a double-edged weapon that will end up hurting you by making you unable to connect with those around you.

 

[reset]

I've only seen a handful of episodes, but I really like his character as well. Partly because he's British and in the show he's like more American than American.

Took me awhile to get over my superiority complex. Yes, I read. I have obscure tastes. I "know" more about many topics than most people. And I had trouble with small talk because the topics are so "beneath me". I was at a party recently and a group of much younger people were talking about politics. I didn't know any of them, but approached the group (a little anxiety provoking) and I honestly tried to be interested in what they were saying, but it was all naieve. This one cute girl was trying to talk to me, and I couldn't do it. I just rolled my eyes at her and said, "yeah, uh-uh right. Yup." and for some reason this seemed to really turn her on (too bad her boyfriend showed up and started giving me the evil eye.)

But the difference is, I actually wanted to join in this conversation. If I hadn't been feeling so superior, I could have re-directed the conversation. It was still enjoyable though.

I tend to be extrememly sarcastic. I rib people, tease like crazy. The "problem" is, I know that I'm joking. If I'm teasing you and making fun of you, it means I feel comfortable with you and I enjoy your company. But sometimes the things I say are so deadpan, that they end up hurting someone, when all I was trying to do was have fun. You have to be careful that you don't hurt someone's feelings. The more straight faced you are with sarcasm, the more likely they are to take you at face value and think you don't like them very much. I'm working on this aspect.

So, these days, I do my best to be like that, my natural self, and also just LIGHTEN UP. Like, make stupid jokes or funny voices, talk about cheesy stuff in a fun way if that's what's being discussed. I'd always prefer to have "deep witty" conversation, but we are social creatures and you can ALWAYS have fun and not take things too seriously, not matter who you're with.

Just because you may be "smarter" doesn't mean the other person can't be a lot of fun, or that you have a right to make them feel stupid on purpose. Treat people the way you want to be treated. It's a challenge, but like the previous poster said, it can end up isolating you if you take it too far or yourself too seriously. You have to just ride the wave.

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

I find myself in much the same situation. I don't think there's an easy solution. Personally, I'm generally polite and I try to avoid dry wit with those who obviously wouldn't get it (read: most people). My problem mostly lies with making obscure references to literature or philosophy, or even to art in general, and not so much in making jokes that people don't get. (RDRR, anyone?)

I think you have to just "dumb yourself down" and learn to enjoy the moment. Heck, study the group dynamic by being in it, rather than by removing yourself from it. When you're sitting down with a group of people and jokes are flying and all that, try and throw in a few "stupid" lines and make small talk--even if you're faking it.

One thing I've noticed is that a lot of people who are like you describe and how I am, is that we tend to look down at other people who we feel are "less intelligent" or are, for some reason, "inferior" to us. Something that greatly helps is to realize that not everyone wants to be smart and even those who want to, maybe haven't had the chance to learn as much as we have and exercise that brain. Also, just because people make small talk and generally talk about superficial and "stupid" things, doesn't mean they're not open and interested to "deeper" subjects. Some people I know and have started to hang out with, for example, generally talk about petty things, but sometimes we launch into discussions about philosophy or other deep things.

Now that the overanalyzing is over, I'd say that all you can really do is learn to live in the moment, appreciate people and life in general for what they are, and stop analyzing everything. Analyzing is good if you're discussing the difference between Montesquieu and Pascal; not so much if you're talking to someone you're trying to get to know better.

Cynicism is a powerful weapon to distance yourself from the mess that is post-modernity, but it is a double-edged weapon that will end up hurting you by making you unable to connect with those around you.

Wow... nice reply... it made me clench my hands i got excited... that really helps a lot... next time i'll lighten up in a group...

also... its not that i'm book-smart. it's just that i'm street-smart, common sense type stuff. i could be book smart since i'm street smart and learn things easily. actually i'm going for my GED right now and not a diploma!

but all of the things i'm interested in... well people don't know much about (and i don't yet either... unless i research it on my own like i have been)... i'm interested in science, medicine, and psychology (not art and literature like you).

but yeah... it's so weird to dumb yourself down though... i've always hungout with potheads and jocks but they always talk about drugs and partying... i'm down for that... but i don't talk about it. I'm used to roadtrip with them and just listen to them while i'm flying highhh... but never talk. (and no i'm not subtly throwing out insults to pot heads or jocks who talk about drugs and partying.)

i never REALLY dumbed myself down to meet anyone else at all... or from what i can remember.

but i can learn to do it!

but honestly... how do YOU "dumb yourself down?"

 

[reset]

You don't dumb yourself down. You do your best to try to see the world through someone else's perspective. Not all people are the same. Even what you may see as "dumb" people have interesting perspectives on things that matter to them. All people can be interesting, in their own unique way, if you just give them half a chance. It's been a long time for me to come to this perspective. But, people aren't less smart. They are just different than you. They may not live up to all your expectations or requirements, but they are people, just like you. The more open you are to different people, the easier it gets, and you gain a broader understanding of just how interesting people really can be, in their own way.

 

[Fred Da Head]

Well, it might be because I'm in university and I have to study a lot, I read tons of books (both for school and out of it) and write about 100-150 pages per semester (plus writing I do on my own); I just need a break from thinking sometimes and that's when I find it the easiest to "dumb myself down."

I think it might not be so much dumbing oneself down as much as just talking about lighter subjects. I'm sure not all your interests are "obscure" stuff most people don't know much about. Just grab GQ or a magazine like that (not the higher-end magazines like Monocle) and thumb through it... use whatever story is in there and talk about it. Basically, it's not so much about being dumb, but talking about something people who don't share your interests and knowledge can relate to.

It's also about the power of observation. You've mentionned that you analyze people while talking to them... use that, combined with your wit, and make comments. Obviously, don't say bad things about the person; just pick something around and put a witty spin on it.

reset, you beat me to it, dammit. Anyway, I don't agree that ALL people can be interesting and that EVERYONE is smart. Yes, most people will be interesting and somewhat smart if you give them a chance, but there's a large minority that won't, and aren't.

 

[reset]

reset, you beat me to it, dammit. Anyway, I don't agree that ALL people can be interesting and that EVERYONE is smart. Yes, most people will be interesting and somewhat smart if you give them a chance, but there's a large minority that won't, and aren't.

Maybe so... but we all have one thing in common: we're human beings. Some people you just won't connect with, and that's fine. But I'm just starting to think that it's better to maybe look for the best in people, as opposed to going out of your way to find things that you don't like about them. Which is not easy. But the effort is what counts.

I think of someone who's way into sports or card games or cars or "non-intellectual" stuff. They could hear me go on and on about music or film or politics, and they may be bored to tears, but if they grilled me on those subjects they liked, I would feel like a retard. It cuts both ways.

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

thanks guys.

it's been a long time since i read ANY kind of article here or took anyone else's advice.

i'm going to freshen up on the material here again a bit before spring break.

thanks!

 

[reset]

Actually it's funny this thread came up, I was with a girl a few days ago and I made a sarcastic comment and I may have hurt her feelings, when that isn't what I was going for. Felt kind of bad. This thread has helped me to remember to not get rid of my good attributes, but to realize how they can be made even better.

 

[Fred Da Head]

But I'm just starting to think that it's better to maybe look for the best in people, as opposed to going out of your way to find things that you don't like about them. Which is not easy. But the effort is what counts.QUOTE]

I think you're spot-on. However, it's hard to find what's good in people, when all they talk about is partying, getting high, and what happened on the latest episode of Degrassi The Next Generation. (I got a weird thing for girls who say aboot)

Just to illustrate what I meant by "dumbing down," here's a little story, before I go back to my room and work on my paper until 4am.

In high school, about the same time as I discovered this place, I started sortof being friends with this one girl. This one girl, as it stands, was one of the hottest girls in the whole school. Now, I knew the reason she'd originally started talking to me was so I'd help her in physics class (I was great in science back then, probably because I actually enjoyed it). However, we started seeing each other at parties and whatnot, and at some (including the after-prom party) we spent hours talking together.

This was the typical hot, dumb girl, though she wasn't blonde. She wasn't so much dumb as she'd never been pushed towards valuing education. All my friends--who couldn't dream of approaching her--thought she was just a random dumb girl. However, as I spoke to her more often, I found out she was really witty and had a great sense of humor.

Nothing happened at the after-prom (that I remember...) but the point is, I met her a few times after I moved away from my hometown, and every time we had a nice conversation--though often it was quite short.

The point of this story is that you just have to find something that might seem a bit "dumb" or "silly" to you, that whoever you're talking to can relate to, and THEN you'll find out that they are interesting. Or it might turn out they're dumb and they're dead inside. But at least you'll know instead of assuming.

 

[reset]

The point of this story is that you just have to find something that might seem a bit "dumb" or "silly" to you, that whoever you're talking to can relate to, and THEN you'll find out that they are interesting. Or it might turn out they're dumb and they're dead inside. But at least you'll know instead of assuming.

I agree. I've spent plenty of time partying and getting high, so I can relate to that type of conversation. But I've seen what you mention about that girl, perhaps that's all they know, and they are just dying to break out of that routine and expand their minds, or experience something different, but that's "all they know" because it's what their friends do, it's all they see. Then guys like us come along and push all those buttons in their minds they didn't even know were there.

 

[Obsidian]

1. Don't be like House. He hates his life and constantly takes drugs to make himself less miserable. (The way he handled his ex-gf in Season 2 was very alpha, tho. He seduced her back and then dumped HER because she was hor.)

2. Getting girls is a special challenge for intellectuals. That is, non-intellectuals can often have a typical conversation with a girl about things that interest them. Intellectuals cannot talk about what they enjoy because intellectual topics BORE women at worst or FAIL to turn them on, at best. So yeah, if you want to seduce women and be happy with yourself, you will need to work on two different types of conversations (even more so than the average DJ). At the same time, you should join activities that will let you meet like-minded girls with similar interests to minimize this problem.

3. Get in the habit of steering conversations toward topics that interest you. This will bore/piss off some people. However, the few people who really have similar interests will become very intrigued with you.

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

1. Don't be like House. He hates his life and constantly takes drugs to make himself less miserable. (The way he handled his ex-gf in Season 2 was very alpha, tho. He seduced her back and then dumped HER because she was hor.)

silly.

don't be offended if i say you don't understand the show as well as me... but you don't

I have season one and two on dvd.

He takes vicodin to ease the "pain" he has in his leg. (pain in quotations because they believe it's all in his head) but i guess you can say it makes him high (and anyone who does take drugs all the time probably wish SOMETHING was better). but when they operate on his leg when he's in a coma... his leg is 100% better for a few episodes. he doesn't take drugs while his leg is working fine after surgery... and hes happy. so it's not that he hates his life... it's his leg.

he did handle his ex-WIFE good... but he didn't dump her... they never got back together! she was married to another man already... and after many arguments with the new husband, House figured that the new husband would do anything for his wife. so when the wife tells house she'll leave her husband for HIM again... he tells her no because he won't always be like he has been the past few episodes.

sry if its all jumbled... i kept editting and adding new things.

---

anyways i love all of the advice and replies... thanks.

 

[Obsidian]

he did handle his ex-WIFE good... but he didn't dump her... they never got back together! she was married to another man already... and after many arguments with the new husband, House figured that the new husband would do anything for his wife. so when the wife tells house she'll leave her husband for HIM again... he tells her no because he won't always be like he has been the past few episodes.

He dumps her AFTER she has sex (adultery) with him, because she's a hor. imo, he had enough sense to know that the relationship wouldn't work out again in the long run because things would change and he would just lose her again.

you can't control a hor so don't fall in love with one. You can say he was just being altruistic if you want, but I think he did the sensible thing. That woman was a total flakey b1tch...

And I'm pretty sure she was never actually married to House. I thought they were at first, too, but after I watched the Season 1 dvd (borrowed from a friend), I think they just called her his gf.

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

this is getting way off topic... but since i love the show i can't not talk about it.

i think they were married... since he want into a coma when his leg muscle was dying.

when he went into a coma... she was the only one allowed to choose what happens to him. (which i think would happen if theyre married?)

but anyway im sure they were married.

if it was his ex-gf... i'm sure he wouldnt have been as big of a jerk to the husband.

it wasn't that he couldn't control her in the long run... it's that he knows himself and that he will become the same jerk-ish person he normally is (which would lead to another divorce)... considering he wasn't a jerk to her while he was making the moves on her.

plus if it were his ex-girlfriend... he wouldn't have asked her straight up "do you hate me... or do you love me?"... it just doesn't make sense.

 

[Obsidian]

it wasn't that he couldn't control her in the long run... it's that he knows himself and that he will become the same jerk-ish person he normally is (which would lead to another divorce).

well, I can diagnose your problems clearly now. You blame male jerkishness for break-ups.

considering he wasn't a jerk to her while he was making the moves on her.

No, he just had LEGS that functioned. Never date a woman who will cheat on her husband for you.

what you're saying about their marriage seems to make sense, tho

 

[Potbelly]

simple, you're a house wanna-be.

here's the truth. although house is a genius in the show, in real life a person like that would not get very far screwing with other people all the time and being RUDE. Sometimes people are RUDe, not WITTY and WITTY can be RUDE.

I watch house, fav show, blah blah, have all DVDS,

WATCH THE LAST EPISODE SEASON 2 WHERE HOUSE GETS SHOT:

in his hallucination dream while he is being transported, listen to what his attacker says to him about his philosophy on life. Then you will realize how he is wrong. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be right, but where does being a jackass fit into that? House's philosophy is that you should always tell the god honest truth and to hell with tactfulness. Anyone who doesn't do it is a coward. Straight from the episode, watch it, learn.

While house is easy to be attracted to, anyone like him in real life is just....probably a loner no matter how good of a doc he is.

I used to feel like house in high school. I was the smartest guy there, had all the answers, people came to me for answers and had to acknowledge me cuz I was right all the time.

But that's it....no respect...no anything the rest of the time.e

Now i've changed and call the shots, but I won't go back to those days.

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

i'm not a house wannabe.

i've been this way since before house was even aired, grade school till now.

you got it ALL wrong.

i never said its about being the smartest guy or having all of the answers.

i never said i was the smartest one or that people come to me for answers.

i never said "i'm house"

i said my personality is that i analyze people and figure people out when i meet them, therefore i have a similar personality.

and as i said before... i never said "i'm house"

and i'm not a house wannabe

well anyway... i'm glad you got your personal lil story out even if it was a bit irrelevant, everyone likes to feel important with their opinion. OOooo! they just can't seem to hold themselves back from telling their own fun lil stories! considering you probably skimmed through and made assumptions about what i was talking about.

well you know... i made it clear that i consider myself smart and that i analyze what people would say before they say it, right?

i'm pretty sure posting the thread title "Doctor House M.D. symptoms! Advice?" then start listing reasons why i'm like house... well i'm pretty sure it crossed my mind that i would NOT want to sound like a wannabe... because if i thought i'd blatantly sound like a wannabe, i wouldnt have posted this thread.

make sense?

 

[Nighthawk]

An interesting point about House is how Hugh Laurie is now a sex symbol. The looks are all that matter (**** that's this thread derailed, sorry) crowd might like to explain how when he was a comic actor playing bumbling idiots no woman ever thought of him as attractive. Now he's a ****y sarcastic bastard he gets their pants wet, all without hitting the gym or getting plastic surgery.

Another UK example is Rowan Atkinson. Mr Bean a sex-symbol? Well he was when he played Edmund Blackadder.

As for communicating with all strata of society, charm is often about calibration. Or just talk about Star Wars, everyone likes that.