Do your girlfriends talk about their exes?

[SamMalone]

I'm just wondering if your guys's girlfriends talk about their ex boyfriends a lot.

 

[axxo]

Yes if she is not over with her ex yet. If your ex is doing that on you, be careful. Do not badmouth her ex. Don't be judgmental. Just keep quiet and listen to her. If she keeps on talking about her ex all the time, hard NEXT her. She is obviously not a good LTR material.

 

[Captain]

Yes if she is not over with her ex yet. If your ex is doing that on you, be careful. Do not badmouth her ex. Don't be judgmental. Just keep quiet and listen to her. If she keeps on talking about her ex all the time, hard NEXT her. She is obviously not a good LTR material.

Tell her to stop talking about her ex, if she doesn't, leave her.

EDIT: Talking about the ex at all is a bad sign. Girls say they hate bad boys and jerks, but you know what they do? They have sex with them.

If she didn't feel anything for her ex, she wouldn't be talking about him.

 

[Pakwah]

Not that it makes a big difference, but what does she exactly say about him? Is it negative / positive?
Something he did / didn't do?
Does it seem she should be long over it?
Is it a fairly recent bf?

 

[shaunuk]

No they don't, but it has happened on rare occasions at the *beginning* of the relationship. I'm very direct about it; I tell her to stop talking about it because I'm not the least bit interested..

i.e.

Girl: blahblah blah my ex...

Me: why the **** are you telling me this? I cant think of anything I'm less interested in hearing if I'm honest.

If she thinks you're being a d1ck, ask her if she'd like it if you were always talking about your ex's? Just make it clear to her that you're not particularly interested at all and that she's boring the fvck out of you.

 

[Allurre]

My girlfriend doesn't talk about her ex.

You can easily prevent this from happening once you tell your dates... "I'm not the kind of guy that likes to talk about my exes"

Won't hurt you a bit, and will avoid her bringing this topic up.

 

[Bible_Belt]

When you get older, you just stop caring about that. By then, people have simply had a lot more exes and are more likely to have been in a long relationship. My own girlfriend is divorced; so am I. We were each in a ltr that lasted 7 years, so it is about impossible to not bring up exes. We have also met each other's ex spouses together as a couple. Each of us have been very polite and cordial. That is the maturity that comes with age. Typically, when people are younger, they are less emotionally mature and more likely to be jealous, which is why talking about exes is thin ice for conversation.

 

[KontrollerX]

"I'm just wondering if your guys's girlfriends talk about their ex boyfriends a lot."

The reason undesireable sh!t like this happens to you guys is because you don't set your frame for how you want the relationship to be from the beginning.

Meaning that in the very beginning of the relationship you and your girl need to go over both of your personal do's and don'ts and if your girl does not live up to the bargain you walk away and find another girl and vice versa if you break the agreement.

Its just that fvcking simple but you guys insist on making life harder for yourselves.

 

[DohnShaft]

Hell yea Kontroller...short and to the point. Fellas beware of the Power of the Ex.

 

[x86]

"I'm just wondering if your guys's girlfriends talk about their ex boyfriends a lot."

The reason undesireable sh!t like this happens to you guys is because you don't set your frame for how you want the relationship to be from the beginning.

Meaning that in the very beginning of the relationship you and your girl need to go over both of your personal do's and don'ts and if your girl does not live up to the bargain you walk away and find another girl and vice versa if you break the agreement.

Its just that fvcking simple but you guys insist on making life harder for yourselves.

I'll bite. How do you bring that up without sounding controlling or whiny (Read: AFC).

 

[KontrollerX]

"I'll bite. How do you bring that up without sounding controlling or whiny (Read: AFC)."

It doesn't come off that way because you are going over BOTH of your do's and don'ts.

Its not a one sided affair.

Just as a single example here ya go...

She can say well I don't want you going out with your girl "friends" without me and vice versa where you say the same to her about her guy "friends" where she doesn't go out with them without you.

If a woman disagrees with this thats fine.

You and she were clearly not meant to have a relationship together.

You two do not mesh as a couple that shares emotions and intimacy.

That however does not mean that you and such a girl cannot simply be fvck buddies and do your own thing when not together and if the girl in this scenario eventually catches feelings for you, you must be a man and next her since you've already established that you and she are not cut out for a relationship together earlier on.

Real men can do that.

AFC pvssies who have no self or emotional control cannot and like to argue about the impossibilities of this on the forum.

Thats fine though.

Maybe this advice really isn't for EVERYBODY but advice like this is necessary for those lurkers out there who are looking to get the best possible deal for themselves in life with the least amount of hassles.

Even the question where you are worrying about coming off as controlling or whiny looks at things from the wrong perspective.

Fvck what the woman thinks.

All that matters is what you think.

You should be approaching this whole dating/hooking up scene as a numbers game and a salesman type of thing.

Some women will buy what you are selling and some won't.

Some women love your product and some women don't.

And when they don't or won't it doesn't mean your product is bad or defective it can simply mean the difference between someone preferring say Coke as opposed to Pepsi.

There is nothing at all wrong with you wanting to live your life a certain way and if your personality is advanced enough almost any woman out there will be sold on that if they don't buy anything else about you.

Go read some SunnyD posts.

She is making one guy in particular VERY happy at this moment as he passes her and another girl around because he didn't stop to say gee I wonder if this approach will make SunnyD think of me as controlling or whiny.

No, he went for what he wanted how he wanted it and he got it over and over again and is likely still getting it.

Now sure his approach may not work with every woman but the fact of the matter is it will always work with just enough to keep him happy as well any man with the balls to try it.

 

[Igetit!]

"I'm just wondering if your guys's girlfriends talk about their ex boyfriends a lot."

The reason undesireable sh!t like this happens to you guys is because you don't set your frame for how you want the relationship to be from the beginning.

Meaning that in the very beginning of the relationship you and your girl need to go over both of your personal do's and don'ts and if your girl does not live up to the bargain you walk away and find another girl and vice versa if you break the agreement.

Its just that fvcking simple but you guys insist on making life harder for yourselves.

EXACTLY.

I hate it when I see threads like this. To me,this guy makes it sound like he's in a smoke filled interrogation room,with 2 detectives standing over him asking him questions,trying to get him to crack. This girl was asking him questions....well,did he even stop to think,"Hey,why am I on the defensive?"

He could just as easily ask her things as she does him. That having a wek frame.

I think your rep. meter must be full Kontroller. This is the third time I've tried to rep. you,and is said something about having to spread it to others.

 

[horaholic]

Yeah, I think part of what KX is trying to say, is its AFC, to worry about whether what you're doing is AFC or not. I see a lot of guys on here afraid to stand up and say whats on their mind or call out a girl for disrespect cuz it might be AFC, or controlling or whatever. Well, NOT taking action because you're worried about what someone else thinks is worse, right? I suppose it depends on the circumstance as well, but sometimes you have a lose-lose by having to choose between standing up for yourself and being perceived as 'jealous,' or doing nothing and getting pissed about it, thus labelling yourself a pvssy.

I met my BPD ex, around six months after her husband had DIED. I was ALWAYS hearing about how they were soulmates, and blah,blah,blah, and felt I was being compared to him. Sometimes she would freak out because of something reminded her of him, and she would dissappear for days. She used this as a manipulative tool against me countless times. If I spoke up against it, I felt it would have made me the biggest ******* ever, so I held it all in. One night, there was significant evidence of her cheating, but I couldnt confront her about it, because her "dad was on his death bed." I still dont know if it was true or not. What are you supposed to do in that situation?

Anyway, chicks will talk about ex's. Dont worry about it unless she is comparing you, (and your losing!) or it sounds like she's still hung up on him. Tell her you'd rather not hear about it.