"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Do you think the magnetic jaw lock will mean less fat chicks?

MatureDJ

Master Don Juan
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I was reading this, and it got me interested:
On June 28, researchers in the United Kingdom and New Zealand announced the invention of DentalSlim Diet Control, a new intra-oral locking device reminiscent of an archaic torture mechanism. Its two magnetic pieces are designed to prevent a person’s jaw from opening by more than 2 millimeters—a distance the creators said “allows free speech and doesn’t restrict breathing.” The goal, per the project’s researchers, is to combat obesity by limiting wearers to a liquid-only diet.
magnetic jaw lock.jpg

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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CAPSLOCK BANDIT

Master Don Juan
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How close are we to just attaching a magnetic collar to their necks and releasing flying buzz saw blades
 
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