"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
do you keep spinning plates when you find a chick you like?
- Thread starter captain55
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Zapp Brannigan
Senior Don Juan
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If you're in a relationship with her, no. If you're just talking and nothing has escalated, then yes.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
Yes. If you like a woman and want to develop the relationship, it's not fvcking up to you bro' it's up to her. The fastest way to get her to stop seeing you is to become a needy @ss clingy b!itch. The only way I know how to prevent this is to have options with women.
Too many guys lock onto a girl, their frame goes out the window, then end up crying when you chase her off. She has to come to you... she has to bring up the "what are we doing" speech. Remember that scene in the movie "Big", that's pretty much how it happens. And the funny thing is how Tom Hank's character reacts to it is EXACTLY how any man should when it comes up... even though his charater was clueless to what is going on (since he has the mind of a child).
Until this happens, you have to treat her just like any other girl you happen to be seeing... regardless on how you feel.
Too many guys lock onto a girl, their frame goes out the window, then end up crying when you chase her off. She has to come to you... she has to bring up the "what are we doing" speech. Remember that scene in the movie "Big", that's pretty much how it happens. And the funny thing is how Tom Hank's character reacts to it is EXACTLY how any man should when it comes up... even though his charater was clueless to what is going on (since he has the mind of a child).
Until this happens, you have to treat her just like any other girl you happen to be seeing... regardless on how you feel.
Tictac
Banned
I do. But it's different.
Always keep a girl or two in the bullpen, warming up and ready but not on the field in the game.
It's not that hard.
Always keep a girl or two in the bullpen, warming up and ready but not on the field in the game.
It's not that hard.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Yes. The woman im with is very appreciative of me (she's not technically my gf but we kinda act like it). However I just fvcked a different girl today. You see I had horrible oneitis one time and it bit me in the ass. Since then I realized I need to play the field more.
_sideways_
Master Don Juan
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Zapp Brannigan said:
Kinda sounds lameish...no offense. Why? Because even if you are in love. We know better. We know she will succumb to greatness if however short lived it is.
YES
Because there is no GOOD reason not to. My values and beliefs are in line with the idea that variety is the spice of life. So I live accordingly.
Even when I meet a girl I like more than usual.. I still flirt with others and continue meeting and f*cking others because this is the lifestyle I want to live and its not negotiable.
With spinning plates, the benefits outweigh the downsides (for me). And with commitment, the downside outweighs the benefit (for me). I love that a lot of women will simply try harder to get my attention and/or work harder to be with me BECAUSE they have competition. I also love that women will be on their best behavior when they see I have other women interested. This is how I like it.
When you commit to ONE woman you put her on a pedestal. Once you put ONE woman on a pedestal and start living according to HER rules.. you become her b!tch and her slave. This is called beta submission and its pathetic.
Because there is no GOOD reason not to. My values and beliefs are in line with the idea that variety is the spice of life. So I live accordingly.
Even when I meet a girl I like more than usual.. I still flirt with others and continue meeting and f*cking others because this is the lifestyle I want to live and its not negotiable.
With spinning plates, the benefits outweigh the downsides (for me). And with commitment, the downside outweighs the benefit (for me). I love that a lot of women will simply try harder to get my attention and/or work harder to be with me BECAUSE they have competition. I also love that women will be on their best behavior when they see I have other women interested. This is how I like it.
When you commit to ONE woman you put her on a pedestal. Once you put ONE woman on a pedestal and start living according to HER rules.. you become her b!tch and her slave. This is called beta submission and its pathetic.
:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:Poon King said:
More beta KJ nonsense. Beta submission is a term for guys like you who feel completely powerless to women fearing you'll be dominated by them in relationships. You're putting women on a pedestal believing they have more power over you. That's an awful fearful weak beta mindset to have. Bascially you're saying you're a weak helpless beta who will be dominated by a woman forced to follow her rules. Alpha men know how to lead women in relationships and women follow their rules. Betas like you are weak and sumbit any power you have to the "more powerful" woman. That's as pathetic as you can get. Quit fearing women and relationships believing they're more powerful than you putting them on a high pedestal.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Harry Wilmington
Master Don Juan
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- Aug 19, 2012
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Here's a mind-f--k for you to ponder:
Why does one continue to spin plates if he has started dating a woman that he thinks might be "the one" or "relationship material?"
Simple answer, right? It's so that he won't become so needy and focused on this one chick that he starts doing all the WRONG things to lower her interest and scare her away. Or, as this board would say, "so you won't get one-i-tis."
Ah, but here's the rub: what if, at the time of meeting said woman, you don't have any other plates you're currently spinning? And what if, as you're dating her, you still do not manage to find other plates to hook up with? How does a guy then prevent himself from becoming that needy, insecure guy who develops the dreaded one-i-tis?
The answer to that is also simple in theory, but harder in execution: he has to be a guy that is ALREADY confident in himself, and feels in his gut like he could get another woman in his life in no time flat, were this current situation not to work out to his liking.
So then: how does one get to the point where he can date a girl, regardless of if he has other plates lined up or not, and still manage to not do the things that will make her LOSE interest?
Well... I have a whole site dedicated to that (see signature)... but one of the ways is to start believing that you DO, in fact, have worth. If you believe you have worth, it will exude from within to the outside, and it's an energy others around you can pick up. If you feel you have worth, you are more confident; if you are more confident, you are more of a positive person; if you're more of a positive person, you are someone that others - especially women - will not only want in their lives, but would not want to risk giving up. YOU become the prize, not them - and YOU being the prize it what allows you to date however many girls you want at any given time, without fear of consequence.
Why does one continue to spin plates if he has started dating a woman that he thinks might be "the one" or "relationship material?"
Simple answer, right? It's so that he won't become so needy and focused on this one chick that he starts doing all the WRONG things to lower her interest and scare her away. Or, as this board would say, "so you won't get one-i-tis."
Ah, but here's the rub: what if, at the time of meeting said woman, you don't have any other plates you're currently spinning? And what if, as you're dating her, you still do not manage to find other plates to hook up with? How does a guy then prevent himself from becoming that needy, insecure guy who develops the dreaded one-i-tis?
The answer to that is also simple in theory, but harder in execution: he has to be a guy that is ALREADY confident in himself, and feels in his gut like he could get another woman in his life in no time flat, were this current situation not to work out to his liking.
So then: how does one get to the point where he can date a girl, regardless of if he has other plates lined up or not, and still manage to not do the things that will make her LOSE interest?
Well... I have a whole site dedicated to that (see signature)... but one of the ways is to start believing that you DO, in fact, have worth. If you believe you have worth, it will exude from within to the outside, and it's an energy others around you can pick up. If you feel you have worth, you are more confident; if you are more confident, you are more of a positive person; if you're more of a positive person, you are someone that others - especially women - will not only want in their lives, but would not want to risk giving up. YOU become the prize, not them - and YOU being the prize it what allows you to date however many girls you want at any given time, without fear of consequence.
Poon King said:
Frankly speaking, you should be ashamed of yourself for writing such a negative weak minded post. You're giving away all of your power to women being a weak minded beta right out of the gate. Never in my life have I read such nonsense and weak minded garbage before. Every man should have a problem with what you say. Men are superior to women who are the weaker sex. Your KJ nonsense makes the weaker woman more powerful than men with the beta fear you have.
Your beta fear and anger is prevalent in all the posts I've read from you. You fear women being more poweful than you in relatonships following their rules. That makes you angry and is visible in your posts. Men lead by example and the woman follows. Not the KJ nonsense you're trying to spew with men following the "more powerful" woman. Alpha men will never be reduced to a beta in a relationship. If he is, then he was never was an alpha to begin with. I strongly suggest you work on your yourself to eradicate your weak beta mindset before you post any further KJ advice. It makes you look very inept. Crying about pedestalizing women making them more powerful than you, and living according to their rules will never make you an alpha male. Work on that mindset. Thanks again for the laugh dude. You're funny as hell with your KJ posts. :crackup:
Seriously?Poon King said:
"A successful seducer is always prospecting" - Louis/Copeland.
Why? Because otherwise you put all your eggs in one basket. What if your girl flakes?
Plus, you need to remain pertinent. I took my 22 year old a couple weeks back. First we ran into a rude waitress who she said was giving me a dirty look behind my back. Then a bartender around age 25 called me "sir" (which is what many of them do so secretly let you know they think you are too old). Observing that these bugged me, my gf said "Are you feeling undesirable?" Then an hour later I had a girl who was hotter than her (age 26) try to pick me up in front of her. As the other girl she was leaving she said "Follow me" but I just waved goodbye. Later that night my gf was all over me and said "You're SO sexy!". See how it works? Your gf will NOT be the one to give you confidence. She will NOT be the one to let you how attractive you are to other women. Other women have to do that. If your woman doesn't think she could lose you, she will lose interest in a hurry.
TheMonkeyKing
Master Don Juan
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Here's a process flow to objectify the idea.
1) A man has several options afforded to him.
2) Exclusivity is not to happen until a woman signifies that is her intent. A man never signifies a wish of exclusivity to any woman.
3) The man need then to evaluate her fitness for exclusivity. The primary consideration of her fitness is her behaviour up to the point of her request. Any indiscretion on her part at any point should likely be considered prohibitive in 90% of cases - subject to the man's individual opinion and evaluation of his situation.
-Basically she going to be a 9/10 or above; in looks personality AND good behaviours.
4) If the man is to honour the request, then he must stick to his word, until such time as exclusivity does not fulfil him, or an alternative situation will fulfil him more.
5) During exclusivity, other options should remain open in a non-physical way. Even during periods of exclusivity, each partner should not be spending too much time together, and should be free to socialise with members of both genders. Counter-intuitively, being allowed to socialise and flirt with other men and women will test the strength of the exclusive bond, while also reassure that the exclusivity is the preference, if indeed it remain so. If either party is going to be drawn away, they will be anyway.
6) During the period of exclusivity, men should keep female friends, regardless of his partner's wishes. If a partner has to be told that they can't be relied upon, or indeed why a man is allowed to keep female friends, it is grounds for dismissal.
7) A man's social life should not alter drastically upon agreeing to exclusivity, save the fact he does not fck other women. The primary issue when a man is ditched is that he gave up the majority of his existence to this woman. If he prevents this from happening, both parties know their place and their rights.
8) It's a personal choice. If you wanna fck other women and their isn't one who wants/warrants your exclusive attention, why bother with exclusivity. If there's one that takes your fancy and is deserving, well why not, until such time as she no longer does.
Exclusive does not mean 'everything you exist for'.
1) A man has several options afforded to him.
2) Exclusivity is not to happen until a woman signifies that is her intent. A man never signifies a wish of exclusivity to any woman.
3) The man need then to evaluate her fitness for exclusivity. The primary consideration of her fitness is her behaviour up to the point of her request. Any indiscretion on her part at any point should likely be considered prohibitive in 90% of cases - subject to the man's individual opinion and evaluation of his situation.
-Basically she going to be a 9/10 or above; in looks personality AND good behaviours.
4) If the man is to honour the request, then he must stick to his word, until such time as exclusivity does not fulfil him, or an alternative situation will fulfil him more.
5) During exclusivity, other options should remain open in a non-physical way. Even during periods of exclusivity, each partner should not be spending too much time together, and should be free to socialise with members of both genders. Counter-intuitively, being allowed to socialise and flirt with other men and women will test the strength of the exclusive bond, while also reassure that the exclusivity is the preference, if indeed it remain so. If either party is going to be drawn away, they will be anyway.
6) During the period of exclusivity, men should keep female friends, regardless of his partner's wishes. If a partner has to be told that they can't be relied upon, or indeed why a man is allowed to keep female friends, it is grounds for dismissal.
7) A man's social life should not alter drastically upon agreeing to exclusivity, save the fact he does not fck other women. The primary issue when a man is ditched is that he gave up the majority of his existence to this woman. If he prevents this from happening, both parties know their place and their rights.
8) It's a personal choice. If you wanna fck other women and their isn't one who wants/warrants your exclusive attention, why bother with exclusivity. If there's one that takes your fancy and is deserving, well why not, until such time as she no longer does.
Exclusive does not mean 'everything you exist for'.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Bingo-Player
Master Don Juan
HELL YES
If anything i spin more plates than usual when i start to like a chick
it helps to negate oneitis
If anything i spin more plates than usual when i start to like a chick
it helps to negate oneitis