Do you guys reach out to a woman after sex?

[Barrister]

Went out for drinks last night with a woman then went back to my place and we smashed a couple of times. She drove back to her place late and texted me she had a "wonderful evening" and looked forward to next time. We went back and forth a bit before I fell asleep. Haven't reached out again today and was seeing if she would first. So far nada.

Curious how the other DJs handle post-sex communication since I think it is a little different compared to before you have had sex.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Went out for drinks last night with a woman then went back to my place and we smashed a couple of times. She drove back to her place late and texted me she had a "wonderful evening" and looked forward to next time. We went back and forth a bit before I fell asleep. Haven't reached out again today and was seeing if she would first. So far nada.

Curious how the other DJs handle post-sex communication since I think it is a little different compared to before you have had sex.

No! It is no different than any other date. I don’t know why guys assume they have to act differently after sex. I wait 5-9 days to call after a date. Odds are she will contact you before then.

 

[Barrister]

No! It is no different than any other date. I don’t know why guys assume they have to act differently after sex. I wait 5-9 days to call after a date. Odds are she will contact you before then.

Well, not sure I completely agree that it is no different than any other date if you just fu*ked for the first time. But I do agree with not immediately reaching out.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Well, not sure I completely agree that it is no different than any other date if you just fu*ked for the first time. But I do agree with not immediately reaching out.

I challenge you to examine that belief. There is no reason to act differently. That communicates to her that you don’t expect to get sex. It also says sex instantly makes the relationship more meaningful, which is a feminine outlook.

 

[Mister_Skinny_Jeanz]

women play the game too ,she could be just waiting for you.'
my own 2 cents wait for her, but if you do this you could lose her
2nd option is reach out and keep ****in her, she should eventually start to build up attraction and hit you up first after a few weeks or months.

 

[Barrister]

I challenge you to examine that belief. There is no reason to act differently. That communicates to her that you don’t expect to get sex. It also says sex instantly makes the relationship more meaningful, which is a feminine outlook.

It does make it more meaningful. If I wasn't getting sex I wouldn't keep seeing her ha. I don't think that is feminine. Now - I agree with you it is feminine if I am suddenly head over heels for this chick and want an LTR just because she put out.

 

[EyeBRollin]

my own 2 cents wait for her, but if you do this you could lose her

This is the problem. After one date with sex, shouldn’t care about losing her. Women can smell this like a shark smells blood.

 

[EyeBRollin]

It does make it more meaningful. If I wasn't getting sex I wouldn't keep seeing her ha. I don't think that is feminine. Now - I agree with you it is feminine if I am suddenly head over heels for this chick and want an LTR just because she put out.

Women often complain about guys hitting and quitting. A lot of them lose sleep over it. That is their anxiety. That is how you should treat first date sex - it was just a one time thing. If she reaches out, great. If not keep it moving. Call her in a week.

 

[Mister_Skinny_Jeanz]

That's true...but high value men don't care whether or not a chick loses interest because of a ticky tack issue like him not reaching out to her in a timely manner

the only reason why i said that is because guys think just because they dont reach out the chick automatically should feel attraction,no thats how it works. the whole point of not reaching out first is because i only wanna deal with chicks that have a certain amount of interest in ME.
i want to warn these guys that this is not just a tactic , you could actually lose her , and thats ok. if she dont have high interest i dont want her

 

[Barrister]

Women often complain about guys hitting and quitting. A lot of them lose sleep over it. That is their anxiety. That is how you should treat first date sex - it was just a one time thing. If she reaches out, great. If not keep it moving. Call her in a week.

To be clear - if she dropped off the face of the earth I wouldn't be heartbroken over it. But, I'm not necessarily against reaching out myself in a few days time because she was a good lay.

 

[EyeBRollin]

To be clear - if she dropped off the face of the earth I wouldn't be heartbroken over it. But, I'm not necessarily against reaching out myself in a few days time because she was a good lay.

Got it. I keep the communication pattern the same after a lay.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Went out for drinks last night with a woman then went back to my place and we smashed a couple of times. She drove back to her place late and texted me she had a "wonderful evening" and looked forward to next time. We went back and forth a bit before I fell asleep. Haven't reached out again today and was seeing if she would first. So far nada.

Curious how the other DJs handle post-sex communication since I think it is a little different compared to before you have had sex.

They should reach out to you if they are really into you...

If you sent the last message yesterday she needs to re-engage.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Update for 2021:

For obvious hook-ups and ONS, I always reach out the next day. I tell them to text me when they get home too as often they're taking Uber or Lyft.

Here's the #1 reason: I'm stacking the chips in my favor that she doesn't go all psycho on me and cry r*pe or assault. At least if I have a couple messages showing that immediately after the deed all was cool, it would help in the 1% instance she's unstable. Hard to tell on one date as people can hide their s*it for a long time. Plus, if I follow up with her right after, the odds are better she'll think I genuinely like her and greatly reduce any chance of remorse.

Times have changed, guys. Cover yourself the best you can.

It's not about being alpha or beta or whatever it's about being SMART.

 

[Barrister]

Update for 2021:

For obvious hook-ups and ONS, I always reach out the next day. I tell them to text me when they get home too as often they're taking Uber or Lyft.

Here's the #1 reason: I'm stacking the chips in my favor that she doesn't go all psycho on me and cry r*pe or assault. At least if I have a couple messages showing that immediately after the deed all was cool, it would help in the 1% instance she's unstable. Hard to tell on one date as people can hide their s*it for a long time. Plus, if I follow up with her right after, the odds are better she'll think I genuinely like her and greatly reduce any chance of remorse.

Times have changed, guys. Cover yourself the best you can.

It's not about being alpha or beta or whatever it's about being SMART.

She texted me when she got home last night so I am covered there already. But smart advice regardless.

 

[Barrister]

Minor update: She ended up reaching out this afternoon asking how my day was going. Typical boring chit chat but I think she was definitely seeing if I was going to reach out today and then she caved when I didn't.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

If she's from OLD, hell no

 

[Barrister]

If she's from OLD, hell no

What difference does that make exactly?

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

What difference does that make exactly?

most women on there are a waste of time

 

[Barrister]

most women on there are a waste of time

Certainly true -- but that is why you screen there just like you do anywhere else.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Minor update: She ended up reaching out this afternoon asking how my day was going. Typical boring chit chat but I think she was definitely seeing if I was going to reach out today and then she caved when I didn't.

Great. Hope you made the next date!