Do you get yes, the first time you ask?

[crotchrocket]

How many girls say yes to a date the first time YOU ask them? There's a definite pattern; I RARELY get a yes the first time I ask a chic out, I usually have to ask/suggest... it at least twice before they agree!

Now, I'm not talking about chics that I am unsure of their interest, I'm talking about ones that literally stare at me from across the room, ones that I see talking about me to their girlfriends and turn away when they see I'm looking at them looking at me, or the ones that when I approach do all the good body language signs (play with the hair, act shy and nervous...) and even after they reject my first date invite, continue to stare, 'accidently' walk RIGHT by me (bump into me even) several times in one night. I've talked to them, had a good convo. with them, they give me their digits freely when I ask...

These girls likely see me as a bit of a player, and I get the impression they want me to prove I am genuinely interested and not just adding to my list, and therefore are playing a version of 'hard to get' with me. If these are cases where I should be nexting them after they say no (the first time), I literally would date one in maybe thirty. Anybody else get this?

 

[dig it]

Can't say i get that.

They seem to like your persistance.

If you are getting dates like this, then its working.

Thing is, if it works, who cares.

Some random thoughts on the subject...

no girl has ever specifically asked me out without me broaching the subject first.

A few girls have called me and told me what they are doing - with no prior contact during the week - and just expect me to invite myself along, then we wind up having sex.

I've never asked a girl out, and having had to ask again, she has relented and said yes. Weird. Maybe however, its because i never plead or beg...some chicks are weak for that kind of behavior, but they dont get it from me. I am never like "oh come on, i just know you are going to like it...."

I do sometimes say "just cancel what you had planned, put your dates on hold and just come over. " stuff like that has never gotten me anywhere....other people say it has,

therefore i am interested in what you actually say. It really sounds like they are testing you from what i can see.

cheers

 

[ER!C L!VE]

If Cindy Crawford asked you out, would you say yes or play "hard to get"?

C'mon bro.

I don't buy into the whole "girls like to be chanced" idea.

My experience tells me that a girl will either go out with you if she likes you and she'll treat you well, or you can chase her, get her for a while, and she'll treat you like ****.

It's your choice.

Chase a ho, get a chumps cop. Stalk a ho, get pimps take.

Yea, so. Anyway, chicks will take you up on any offer to hang out or reschedule if they truely want to be with you.

Cheers!

Eric

www.tenderz.net/forum

 

[DeathDealer]

depends. if she's sick, someone died in her family, or something serious rather than bullcrap like : "busy doing something" and says no - she might not be interested in you, if however she counteroffers an alternative date/time then it's all good still.

persistance is alright, i'd try only one more time to ask for a date like a week or more later.

 

[crotchrocket]

I generally make it hard for a girl (except the most aggressive ones) to make a counter offer.

I always ask a chic to join me to something I'm already going to (can't sit around waiting for life to come to me now can I) I'm busy, I'm independant and decisive, and therefore when I ask a girl to do something it's NEVER-"would you like to go to so and so sometime..." and therefore isn't really conducive to a counter offer from her, for ex. "I can't Saturday but Sunday I can..." when the concert or hockey game or whatever is only in town at 7:00 Sat. Maybe this is part of the problem?

The thing I don't understand, is why show interest, turn me down, and then keep showing interest? If they don't want me to ask, then why not make it clear they don't want me to ask, wtf?

Does anybody, straight out ask, "are you interested in doing something else sometime then..."? because vagueness and questions like this don't seem like a DJ way to me, maybe I'm wrong?

 

[sfalexi]

Best results I ever got were when I "told" a girl out. Didn't give them a choice. I didn't realize I was doing it when I did it, but it worked great.

Best examples,

Was doing great with this one girl in school, and was hungry. So I said, "I'm going to the diner. C'mon." She came. Things worked out well.

A girl was complaining to another girl about her friend ditching her and now she had noone to hang out with on halloween even though she had a 'really great' costume. I walked up to her and said, "I'll tell you what. I'll do you a favor. I'll take you out tonight so that costume doesn't go to waste." Got her number, went out.

Both these instances (doesn't happen a lot to me, but it does happen), it worked really well. And I didn't even realize I had done it. Maybe I do have a baby-dj in my trying to rise up after all . . .

 

[crotchrocket]

sfalexi; I've done similar things as you mention but these circumstances are rare, and unfortunately don't help solve the common ones.

I actually 'kidnapped' a chic, told her to put her coat on, grabbed her by the hand escorted her out of the building to my car, and proceeded to have an awesome date (one neither of us will ever forget). I've told women I was going somewhere... "and you're coming with me..." and they'd submitted and said "o.k." and again had a great time. But you can't do that all the time, 1% of the time maybe!

 

[MrCode]

Originally posted by crotchrocket
But you can't do that all the time, 1% of the time maybe!

Why not?

If it works for you, do it more often. The only reason you don't is because you think you can't.

 

[Cocky-Blond-Guy]

Actually I personally don't like asking them out. I usually tell them "this is what i'm doing, and you're coming with me"

I'm not a big fan of leaving the decision up to the chick. This might seem kind of twisted to you guys. But in my mind, when you present that sort of question, you're putting them in control. They have the power from then on to say yes, or to say no.

If however, you say "this is how its gonna be, take it or leave it" you generally seperate the girls that like to play games, with the ones that are actually interested.

And I personally hate games. I don't have time for crap like that. (I suppose it doesn't help that my job is management, so I expect everyone to be straightforward, w/o any stupid games, and I get VERY impatient with people who play around at work, or with my emotions.)

The only problem with this approach - at least in my case - is that it means that you have to be very spontaneous. I dont like setting up dates in advance, because they seem far to formal. I'm a serious guy, and if you put me in the position where I feel i need to be serious, i get VERY serious. (pretty much overkill).

So I do run into scheduling problems quite often, but I usually can work around it. You guys should try it. Its very empowering.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by ****y-Blond-Guy
Actually I personally don't like asking them out. I usually tell them "this is what i'm doing, and you're coming with me"

I'm not a big fan of leaving the decision up to the chick. This might seem kind of twisted to you guys. But in my mind, when you present that sort of question, you're putting them in control. They have the power from then on to say yes, or to say no.

If however, you say "this is how its gonna be, take it or leave it" you generally seperate the girls that like to play games, with the ones that are actually interested.

And I personally hate games. I don't have time for crap like that. (I suppose it doesn't help that my job is management, so I expect everyone to be straightforward, w/o any stupid games, and I get VERY impatient with people who play around at work, or with my emotions.)

The only problem with this approach - at least in my case - is that it means that you have to be very spontaneous. I dont like setting up dates in advance, because they seem far to formal. I'm a serious guy, and if you put me in the position where I feel i need to be serious, i get VERY serious. (pretty much overkill).

So I do run into scheduling problems quite often, but I usually can work around it. You guys should try it. Its very empowering.

You brought up a good point in how to "ask" a girl out. Taking the power away from the girl is an interesting choice and you're right, it does seperate the ones that play games with the ones that don't. You can say something like "I'm going to ______, feel free to come along" instead of, "would you like to come to _____ with me?" Notice the shift of power in those two examples. In the first choice you're telling the girl come along, but I don't care if you don't. She does not have any say in what happens. In the second choice you're giving her power. In a way you're saying that you going to whatever place it is rides on her decision to say yes.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Learn how to properly qualify women and you won't have a problem.

 

[crotchrocket]

EndofTime; I do that too, always do that in fact, always have, these women know from our first convo. , everybody that knows me in fact knows I'm my own man, and I do what I want, when I want, and if they want to join in-then great if not-then hey it's their loss, and I just find somebody else (another chic) some of the time RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER! So thats not it either!

Francisco; is this not part of the qualifying process? I've never thought of it like that but maybe. Chics who do this kind of sh!t are maybe the ones not worth the effort!?

I'm wondering if I'd be better off being more AFC, who knows maybe it would help. Most chics I know (Christian/church going chics) have guys following them around, trying to get a 'foot in the door' by being 'friends' with her first and therefore catering to her every need, kind of crap. God it makes me sick when I see it though! What am I supposed to kiss some chics a$$ so she'll say yes-it makes NO SENSE!