"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Do you bother with girls who live too far away?

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HappyHarryHardon

Don Juan
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I mean if you meet a girl and she lives far away like more than an hour, do you bother with her? Going on dates just to meet up would suck. Right?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Plutoman

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If she's fun and the outings are a decent length, then sure.

Anything over like, an hour and a half, though, and that's really pushing it.. but up to about then, with some fuzzy room either way, as long as she's fun and you aren't meeting for just coffee, is totally worth it.

I drive half hour to 45min lengths all the time, so jumping up a bit isn't all that big a deal if I'm going to be spending 6+ hours with someone. However, don't do it because you're attached to the one girl.. common fallacy is to jump for the girl that's a ways away. It's a buffer. Do away with the buffer and meet new people. And I'm presuming you met the girl in person.
 
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pdx1138

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A long long time ago, I drove 300 miles a few times with a buddy.

We both had girlfriends at a college far away.

It was fun at the time, but I wouldn't do that again.

If they don't live within 30 minutes I'm not interested.
 
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