Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
I believe in KARMA, in fact I met him once. Great guy. We knocked back some brew and sushi,....
oh,..
nevermind.
oh,..
nevermind.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
In response to the Confucius saying (while a bit off topic), where did you heard that? Got a source of translation? Or if it just a saying, where is that commonly said, for from my knowledge of Confucius, he would not say that. He would say a similar, but the direction and meaning would is actually very different. Your saying is the golden rule and is commonly said among Christian Virtue of do unto others and you wish other unto you, but Confucius had a "silver rule" or a "negative golden rule." Which is "what I don't want other unto me, don't unto others" meaning not wanting bad actions done to you by others, don't do it to others. Similar, but so very different as one ask to do good to others but Confucius ask to avoid doing bad to others.darwinian_sympathiser said:I will totally close the issue for you.
If you read the last chapter of "The Selfish Gene" by Richard Dawkins you have the chapter "Nice Guys finish first". I will not repeat the chapter, but here we see a plausible explanation for "reciprocal altruism". That essentially what "Karma" is about. It is also rooted in the Confucius saying "do as you would be done by".
I am not a believer in the mysticism-spirtuality aspect of Karma being agnostic and seeing no evidence to believe. However, idea that "what comes around, goes around," which means one do enough bad stuff that it will eventually come back in some form (like bad reputation) and it is reasonably imaginable to be possibly realistic making it acceptable to consider. Yet, I do find even with the no offense clause but to say those who believe in Karma in that form as egotistic and vain rather is rather... disagreeable to say the least as it not just call those who believe vain and egotistic, but also goes against the original Karma instead of the Western view formed from "New Age" developments. The Karma from Hinduism and Buddhism is much different. Though to be honest I am a bit blurry on it so maybe I'm wrong, perhaps the poster Mistic who have demonstrated a strong knowledge in Eastern Religion and Philosophy can give a better light.darwinian_sympathiser said:In my teens I use to think about Karma too, but after reading Dawkins I realised it was just crap, no offence to anybody, but in this cold world where things just are they way they are, to believe in Karma is actually egotistic and vain. It's intricately mixed up with "returning of favours" that many friendships amongst human beings are dependent on, not to mention animals as well (case in point being the vampire bat, a successful individual would regurgitate blood to an unsuccessful one to have the favour returned on a later date).
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.