do you ask them if they have any stds?

[joekerr31]

just wondering, first time you sleep with a girl, do you ask them if they have any stds or do you just assume that if they did they would tell you?

 

[Bible_Belt]

It's a pointless question, Joekerr. It only kills the mood. If she had anything serious enough to answer "yes," then she has already made up her mind about telling you. She won't not tell you just because you don't ask.

And btw, the answer is "yes" unless she is a virgin. Every sexually active woman carries the HPV virus. Most women also have at least oral herpes, genital is like 1 in 4 or 5. Molluscum contagiousum is the std I just got, which popped up in the middle of a 6-mo LTR. Science is pretty clueless about it. Something like 25% of people might carry the mc virus. Although my sores are gone and there is only a tiny chance I could give it to a chick, there is no fvcking way that I am going to tell anyone about it. Being treated like a leper is no fun. My ex-wife and I had a threesome once with one of her friends, and we made the mistake of telling her that my wife had herpes. Then the chick treated me like I had herpes, even though I don't. Telling her about it beforehand was stupid. You pretty much only transmit herpes when there is a sore. I had unprotected sex for 7 years and never got it. And herpes is probably the most likely "yes" answer to your question. If she has it, then you don't want to know about it. It will only fvck with your head.

The best answer to this dilemma is to have sex with women who genuinely care about you, and would hate to see you get an std.

 

[MacAvoy]

Funny you brought this up. I was thinking about AIDS the other day. I was thinking about writing a letter to the local paper, I don't know if there has ever been a documented case of a male getting aids from sex with a women. I think the chances are so slim to none. That being said, its much easier for a man to pass it to a women.

That being said, there are more realistic STD's to be concerned about.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

It might be a good idea to ask if the topic of sex comes up, hours before you guys "get in the mood". Either way it comes down to trusting the other person or not. Have sex at your own peril, I say.

Oh, and even though you don't have a herpes break out, there is such a thing as "viral shedding", making it possible to catch herpes even without break outs.

 

[azanon]

just wondering, first time you sleep with a girl, do you ask them if they have any stds or do you just assume that if they did they would tell you?

BB nailed it. Ditto to the question about asking whether she's a virgin or not. That's why I get such a kick out of people like LMS who only want virgins; they're actually people out there (like LMS) that are naive enough to think they can know for sure whether a girl is telling them the truth about STDs or even virginity.

 

[squirrels]

Crack a joke about herpes. See if she gets offended or insecure.

Don't do this during foreplay.

 

[Scot McKay]

Resolution to the AIDS question is very simple. Go to www.cdc.org and look at the statistics.

The number of heterosexual males claiming (i.e. self-reporting) to have contracted HIV through heterosexual contact with no other risk factors present is actually below the over/under for the margin of error. IOW, the number of guys whom they expect would lie about it vis-a-vis homosexuality/IV drug use is actually a higher number than the actual number of guys reporting "heterosexual transmission".

Yes, lots of heterosexual women are HIV positive. They aren't necessarily so for obvious reasons. Be sure to check the stat for rate of infection per incidence of sexual contact by category. Assuming your heterosexual female partner *was* HIV positive, you as a heterosexual man have a very, very low percentage chance of infection.

The problem here is that HIV gets a lot of attention from special interests who (somewhat ironically) would have us believe that we're all at grave risk.

Often this comes at the expense of very necessary education about more prevalent infections among heterosexuals such at HPV and Hepatitis.

 

[DJDamage]

Yep it is a mood killer. One time I was dating this girl, had my condom on and everything but before i penetrated her she asked me "is there anything i should know about before we do this"?. Even though I am clean, it ruined the moment because now instead of thinking about screwing her, in the back of my mind is all about the dangers of STD's. Needless to say it wasn't a good fvck.

STD's are like driving in cars. People die every day driving a car on the highway's, does that mean you will stop driving? no. What it means is that if you are really careful about it and know what you are doing, you are more likely to avoid a serious accident/death but maybe just get a bump or two along the way.

 

[M_D]

Yep it is a mood killer. One time I was dating this girl, had my condom on and everything but before i penetrated her she asked me "is there anything i should know about before we do this"?. Even though I am clean, it ruined the moment because now instead of thinking about screwing her, in the back of my mind is all about the dangers of STD's. Needless to say it wasn't a good fvck.

STD's are like driving in cars. People die every day driving a car on the highway's, does that mean you will stop driving? no. What it means is that if you are really careful about it and know what you are doing, you are more likely to avoid a serious accident/death but maybe just get a bump or two along the way.

And how does one go about being careful when driving?

I dunno, perhaps they will wear a seatbelt, purchase a vehicle with a high safety rating, obey the rules of the road, avoid driving while intoxicated, etc.

The same thing applies to sex. You have to be smart about it. Why take any unnecessary risk? If you are serious about a female and plan on having unprotected sex with her (I'd only have unprotected sex with serious partners), then yes, you SHOULD ask her if she has any STIs. That doesn't not ruin the mood. That gives BOTH people a piece of mind.

Bible Belt's advice is terrible, and it's quite evident given his situation.

 

[joekerr31]

my **** is STD free and i plan to keep it that way.

i never go bareback.

im not even concerned so much about my ****. more concerned about my mouth. i got no desire to lick an std infected p*ssy.

so im going to keep asking. ya, it can kill the moment for a minute or two, but its worth it.

 

[M_D]

There's nothing wrong with asking. Especially if you go about it in the right way. Trust me, you're probably not the only one thinking about such things. I'm sure the female would be relieved to know that you're not infested either.

 

[Bible_Belt]

yes, you SHOULD ask her if she has any STIs. That doesn't not ruin the mood. That gives BOTH people a piece of mind.

You guys trust what women say?

:crackup:

 

[M_D]

yes, you SHOULD ask her if she has any STIs. That doesn't not ruin the mood. That gives BOTH people a piece of mind.

You guys trust what women say?

:crackup:

Hence why I'd probably want to see the test results themselves.

 

[joekerr31]

most of the time she doesn't even know

would it be acceptable for me to pull out a flashlight and inspect her vagina before doing anything with her?

 

[Master Bates]

would it be acceptable for me to pull out a flashlight and inspect her vagina before doing anything with her?

Might wanna swab it down and study it on a petri dish while you're at it.

 

[WaterTiger]

The best thing to do is get tested and carry a copy of the test with you.

"I'm squeaky clean! How about you?"

 

[Bible_Belt]

But even those tests are not worth much. Typically herpes, hpv, and molluscum contagiosum do not show up on tests. Even HIV has an incubation period of up I think three months.

 

[joekerr31]

Might wanna swab it down and study it on a petri dish while you're at it.

i heard that if a woman queffs that it means she has an STD.

 

[Colossus]

just wondering, first time you sleep with a girl, do you ask them if they have any stds or do you just assume that if they did they would tell you?

I have asked in the past; it hasnt gone over too well.

I have also assumed, and that didnt go over too well, either.

My philosophy is its better to ask the awkward potential moment-killing question than roll the dice with a disease. They are out there, boys. And you'll never believe it till you get caught.

I think the take-home message here is dont have indiscriminate sex.

 

[Colossus]

It's a pointless question, Joekerr. It only kills the mood. If she had anything serious enough to answer "yes," then she has already made up her mind about telling you. She won't not tell you just because you don't ask.

And btw, the answer is "yes" unless she is a virgin. Every sexually active woman carries the HPV virus. Most women also have at least oral herpes, genital is like 1 in 4 or 5. Molluscum contagiousum is the std I just got, which popped up in the middle of a 6-mo LTR. Science is pretty clueless about it. Something like 25% of people might carry the mc virus. Although my sores are gone and there is only a tiny chance I could give it to a chick, there is no fvcking way that I am going to tell anyone about it. Being treated like a leper is no fun. My ex-wife and I had a threesome once with one of her friends, and we made the mistake of telling her that my wife had herpes. Then the chick treated me like I had herpes, even though I don't. Telling her about it beforehand was stupid. You pretty much only transmit herpes when there is a sore. I had unprotected sex for 7 years and never got it. And herpes is probably the most likely "yes" answer to your question. If she has it, then you don't want to know about it. It will only fvck with your head.

The best answer to this dilemma is to have sex with women who genuinely care about you, and would hate to see you get an std.

Good advice BB, especially on the herpes topic.

Ive worked/volunteered at the local hospital and talked with one of the infirmary docs at my university, and the general consensus is that 1 in 3 or 4 people has the herpes virus on campus. Those are pretty normal stats at any college.

When i volunteered in medical records, i would see a lot of charts come through from college girls...and the information wasnt comforting, to say the least.

College chicks generally only visit the infirmary for two things: 1) Common colds and flu and 2) sexual health problems.

But dont be fooled into thinking its just college girls...they have to grow up eventually.