Do you also feel this?

[ssj245]

Im just curious but, does anyone here have anxiety or feel fear when around attractive girls. Suppose your sitting next to a girl, or you find yourself having a conversation with a attractive female, does your heart start to beat faster?

Im asking this becuase it happens to me and its getting in my way of having good conversations with girls.

I know persoanlly that when I am talking with females that look good, there is a feeling deep down inside me and most of its fear and its telling me to run away and find a safe place to hide. I also feel like when I am talking to a good looking chick like my ego or my self worth is on trial, I feel like I MUST say something to make her laugh and like me, or I am a failure or afterwords I feel crapy about myself. So during a conversation I am very nervous becuase I am trying very hard to get her to like me and I am also monitoring everything I am doing, I become super self coscience about everything I say or do, to make sure it is perfect. If it isnt then i feel bad about myself and I if she doesnt like me or show me the attention I want, I get this feeling that makes me feel like a loser.

These feelings come almost instantaneously, when I am in the presence of a hot female.

I've tried using postive statements to reprogram my mind, from my negative self belief's to positive ones, but thought and feeling confident must be combined.

Statements like "I am the prize" dont mean anything unless you can actually feel the statement and learn to feel that way no matter what or who comes your way. Its taking a thought and internalizing it.

I've havent had much success with positive reinforcement or medication that my shrink told me to take. I still feel the same feelings at times.

 

[shumon]

repeat: YOU r the best

 

[S1NN3R]

You are elevating the girls beyond everyone else, and in doing so, you are creating the barrier. Talking to an attractive girl is no different than talking to anyone else, but when you sit there and think to yourself "wow, she's hot", you are putting her in a different category, one that you think you need to impress or attract. Trying to talk to these girls that you view differently is taking you out of your comfort zone, and making you clam up.

Back in my AFC days, I use to work part time at this hobby shop. At the time, I couldn't approach any hot girls. I just had no confidence in my abilities. However, if any of those chicks that I thought was hot actually came into the store and wanted to buy something, I could talk to them just like anyone else, because at the time, they were just anybody else. They wanted somthing from me. For some reason, that made the difference in my actions regarding them. So I applied that. After I realized it, I stopped putting girls that I liked into a different category. I talked to 10s just like they were 3s. No one has any problems talking to 3s, right? The only difference is how you view them.

It's all about the comfort zone. If you pretend that they don't matter, you'll loosen right up.

 

[ssj245]

Your right

I just realized something and your connection with comfort zones. I work at a clothing store and my mangers are hot, but whenever I had to talk about work or offical stuff I never felt nervous or as nervous when I thought "wow shes hot I want her to like me"

I guess when i place them into diffrent categories based on their looks, I get nervous talking to them, because instead of being regular people they become 'hot girls I have to impress' right?

How can I change this thinking? Are there books that deal with this issue? Plus how could I expand my comfort zone, so it can include girls who I think are hot but still be comfortable at looking at them in a social light or a person to impress.

 

[blinkwatt]

Everyones response has been right on. Remember it is just psusy,they bleed,poop,pee and get nervous around other people just like us. Take that psusy off a pedestal and bang it. Everyone must develop the mind set that they are the best before you try anything on this board.

 

[S1NN3R]

How can I change this thinking? Are there books that deal with this issue? Plus how could I expand my comfort zone, so it can include girls who I think are hot but still be comfortable at looking at them in a social light or a person to impress.

Two things worked for me. First, convince yourself that every single person you talk to needs something from you, even if it's not a tangible something. After all, that's why you don't feel nervous around your hot co-workers, they need you in one respect or another, even if it's just for something goofy, like telling them which shelf needs to be stocked or which order didn't come in today. If you believe that you have something that people want or need, you put yourself in a perceived position of power, which in turn allows you to be in that comfort zone.

The other thing I do is just pretend that the HB9.9 is a 3. I try to divest myself of all interest in them. If I'm not interested, I don't have to care if I impress them, right? And in not caring if I impress them, I usually do a much better job of actually impressing them then when I try.

Do this, go up to some chick that you wouldn't take home, somchick that you couldn't care less if she liked you because you wouldn't hit it anyway. Have a nice long convo with her. Now, gohave that exact same convo with the hottest girl you can find. Lead the talk the same way so that you're talking about similar subjects and at a similar intensity level. React the same way to her that you did to the UG. You'd be surprised how many uber-hot honeys like being talked to like a normal girl rather than being fawned over.

 

[Nighthawk]

Generally I am arrogant enough to believe I am the prize, and one mutha-****ing prize of the century too, and I've been dating hot women long enough to know that they all sometimes have bad breath and are just little girls anyway, but if I ever get so overwhelmed with the hotness of the babe I am with that I begin to perceive her value as higher even than MINE, I remind myself that none of this really matters and hey what do I care. Wow, long sentence.

 

[ssj245]

Hey Nighthawk

I need a wingman/ person to show me the ropes. You live in NYC ic, I live in Queens, it would be wicked to meet up at a club and just see you in action for fun, and to help me.

 

[Nighthawk]

I would but I'm not in new york. Sorry I didn't reply sooner I just saw this (while searching my name, ha. I didn't know there was a motorbike called a Nighthawk. I'm named after the Marvel comics character and the Tom Waits album.).

Also I have now got a serious case of the LTRs so am not available for partying right now. Speaking of which, there should be a LTR forum.

On-topic, good-looking women are supposed to make your heart beat faster. Just enjoy it.

 

[DonJuanForever]

Hey buddy, I know EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.

I found this site first when I was trying to improve my game and the basis of this site was to change my mind-set oh how I SAW myself and etc. Well, this is all great and good for me to become the greatest man I could be, but this has jack nothing to do with attracting women.

Nervousness is a lack of comfortableness in your own abilities. Now, why would a guy be nervous around women? Simply, because he HAS NO FVCKIN CLUE ON WHAT TO DO!!

This site does not tell you that, it mainly preaches that you have a certain mindset, which is good, but I believed that I would be great in sales, if that's ALL I HAD, I would not have been successful. I needed a great script, a great time schedule, a great territory, etc.

www.seducenow.com, go here if you wanna know what to do to get you laid and get laid right now. No I don't work for them, no I don't promote shyt, I just wanna help guys out who really want to get laid.

 

[DonJuanForever]

To be honest, being a don juan helps AFTER YOU GET WOMEN. It helps you filter them out, find the one YOU WANT, or keep a girl. But being a don juan DOES NOT GET YOU WOMEN. Sorry.

 

[WhAcKeD!]

This goes hand in hand with one simple thing:

Value.

That is IT, nothing more, nothing less. By telling yourself that she is attractive and you want her, you are putting her in a different category than all other girls you see. She is no longer a normal girl, she is a step above. She is on a pedestal.

When you do this, you automatically put her worth and value above that of yours, whether you realize it or not. You can't view her as hot or attractive, you have to view her as a girl. Just another pvssy in a world full of them.

When you realize and apply this thought, it becomes a breeze to socialize with any girl.

 

[I love Hyori Lee]

To be honest, being a don juan helps AFTER YOU GET WOMEN. It helps you filter them out, find the one YOU WANT, or keep a girl. But being a don juan DOES NOT GET YOU WOMEN. Sorry.

Wow, you really don't know what you're talking about. That is the whole objective of a Don Juan. A Don Juan does get women before and after. If you don't think so, don't offer advice offering tips about women because you really don't have a clue about what's going on. To top it off, you take tips from a woman. So you think a Don Juan does not get you women? You're disagreeing with everyone here. I am now convinced that the advice that you offer are just empty words.