612_Da_Playa
Don Juan
not only just women but does anything tangible bring happiness? I never hear anyone say that women bring lasting happiness. Like drugs, alcohol, money--a temporary happiness ya know?
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
There is no such thing as happiness from without. It's not like a woman comes along and places happiness in your hand and you look at it and go "what do you know? Now I've got some happiness!"KontrollerX said:...if you have happiness from within, a love for yourself and a love for things that are certain and unchanging then you will always be truly happy no matter what happens to you in life.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
This is one of the few thought provoking responses I've read on this site in a long time.reset said:There is no such thing as happiness from without. It's not like a woman comes along and places happiness in your hand and you look at it and go "what do you know? Now I've got some happiness!"
When you feel good around a woman you are allowing yourself to perceive it in such a way that happiness is the end result. But she didn't create it. You created it by deciding that happiness was something you would feel in reference to her. Your thoughts create that feeling.
And that's the entire key. Your thoughts create the feeling of happiness, it's just that we wait for external events to unfold in such a way that we allow ourselves to generate that emotion. We generate it. We go round and round in circles looking for something outside, but the real answer is all over this board if you look for it. It comes from within.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
As pook has said, "Happiness is a choice." You chose to let yourself become happy.reset said:And that's the entire key. Your thoughts create the feeling of happiness, it's just that we wait for external events to unfold in such a way that we allow ourselves to generate that emotion. We generate it. We go round and round in circles looking for something outside, but the real answer is all over this board if you look for it. It comes from within.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.