"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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do u believe u can become a real confident person or i guess "alpha" if u werent

bow down to me

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during childhood like you were in a shell or just average (had a few friends a couple girlfriends but not super confident) or maybe parent beat u and had low confidence. do you think it is possible to change to be a real confident person and what are the ways to change? just talking to everyone is what you guys normally say is it that simple
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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musclyjerk

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Confidence is all you need more of - in yourself and what you have to offer.

I wouldn't even focus on trying to be 'alpha' if that's not really you. Some people are BORN alpha and don't feel comfortable unless they're jossling to be a 'leader' of a pack and if you're not one of them, don't even go there.

Concentrate on confidence. You will be happy to know it grows with age. :)

Experience more. Do more. Face your fears.

The smallest things can do wonders for your confidence

E.G. If you fear swimming because you lack confidence or think you look out of shape or whatever, go to the public swimming baths.. have a swim.. get showered and walk out of their feeling like a million bucks for having the balls to present your body in public.

E.G. If you're not comfortable talking to women, go to the bakers, cafe's, shops etc and just make small-talk with people as you're buying things. Comment on the weather.. hell.. go for a coffee in an average coffee shop and tell them how much you prefer their coffee to starbucks and crack a little joke..... they'l probably say something back and you will feel GREAT...have your coffee and walk out of their feeling like a million bucks.

Talking more to people will become an addiction and before you know it, you will begin to really enjoy socialising and feel more confident coming out of your shell and expressing your thoughts more etc.

Constant interactions like these will improve your confidence like nothing else over time.. and things do take time.

Hope this helps,

The Muscly Jerk
 

Labourer

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it depends on the person, I've known people who have been very quiet as a child then as they get older 'experience' seems to bring them out of their shell, sometimes to become a confident, outgoing individual, so yes I do believe it's possible.

I believe if you think about the type of person you want to be, i.e. in your case, more confident, then start to do things that will allow you to be, take each day as it comes, have a plan to work from, start off small and eventually your start to become the person you want to be
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Jay Jay

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Definately.

Often the most confident socially adept people started out shy and learned to be confident.

As for "alpha"... just try to be the best person YOU can be. Don't worry about all this alpha bull****.
 

trent_1075

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I believe that you can become more of a confident person. I myself have gotten a major boost in confidence in the past couple years. I had catarax when I was 4 months old, and they had to remove the lenses from my eyes. As a result, growing up, I had large LARGE glasses. I also wore pretty BAD looking clothes, since I didnt know any better. Since I graduated, I have had lenses implanted into my eyes, removing the need for glasses, and have updated my wardrobe, which was a big help as well. Theres still alot of self improvment needed, but at least Im getting dates, and am getting laid these days!.... Heal thy self!

-Trent
 
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