"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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do u believe u can become a real confident person or i guess "alpha" if u werent

bow down to me

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during childhood like you were in a shell or just average (had a few friends a couple girlfriends but not super confident) or maybe parent beat u and had low confidence. do you think it is possible to change to be a real confident person and what are the ways to change? just talking to everyone is what you guys normally say is it that simple
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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musclyjerk

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Confidence is all you need more of - in yourself and what you have to offer.

I wouldn't even focus on trying to be 'alpha' if that's not really you. Some people are BORN alpha and don't feel comfortable unless they're jossling to be a 'leader' of a pack and if you're not one of them, don't even go there.

Concentrate on confidence. You will be happy to know it grows with age. :)

Experience more. Do more. Face your fears.

The smallest things can do wonders for your confidence

E.G. If you fear swimming because you lack confidence or think you look out of shape or whatever, go to the public swimming baths.. have a swim.. get showered and walk out of their feeling like a million bucks for having the balls to present your body in public.

E.G. If you're not comfortable talking to women, go to the bakers, cafe's, shops etc and just make small-talk with people as you're buying things. Comment on the weather.. hell.. go for a coffee in an average coffee shop and tell them how much you prefer their coffee to starbucks and crack a little joke..... they'l probably say something back and you will feel GREAT...have your coffee and walk out of their feeling like a million bucks.

Talking more to people will become an addiction and before you know it, you will begin to really enjoy socialising and feel more confident coming out of your shell and expressing your thoughts more etc.

Constant interactions like these will improve your confidence like nothing else over time.. and things do take time.

Hope this helps,

The Muscly Jerk
 

Labourer

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it depends on the person, I've known people who have been very quiet as a child then as they get older 'experience' seems to bring them out of their shell, sometimes to become a confident, outgoing individual, so yes I do believe it's possible.

I believe if you think about the type of person you want to be, i.e. in your case, more confident, then start to do things that will allow you to be, take each day as it comes, have a plan to work from, start off small and eventually your start to become the person you want to be
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Jay Jay

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Definately.

Often the most confident socially adept people started out shy and learned to be confident.

As for "alpha"... just try to be the best person YOU can be. Don't worry about all this alpha bull****.
 

trent_1075

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I believe that you can become more of a confident person. I myself have gotten a major boost in confidence in the past couple years. I had catarax when I was 4 months old, and they had to remove the lenses from my eyes. As a result, growing up, I had large LARGE glasses. I also wore pretty BAD looking clothes, since I didnt know any better. Since I graduated, I have had lenses implanted into my eyes, removing the need for glasses, and have updated my wardrobe, which was a big help as well. Theres still alot of self improvment needed, but at least Im getting dates, and am getting laid these days!.... Heal thy self!

-Trent
 
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