Do people with aspd communicate entirely different?

[Firecrotch66]

There's a girl I ran into in the hallway of my building and I commented on her doormat that said Go away. She said it's just a joke and it keeps all the psychopaths away. Now I technically am a psychopath. Clinically speaking psychopathy is no longer a diagnosis you get tossed into a category called Cluster B. Anyways did she call me out? We talked for a good two hours straight after that comment. Found out Alot about her. I'm curious if I have a different speech pattern and that's what she caught onto. I deflected the possibility of me being one and directed her attention to people in my building who could be.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Now I technically am a psychopath.

I don't think you're a psychopath. Just narcissistic or a troll. Possibly both.

 

[Firecrotch66]

I don't think you're a psychopath. Just narcissistic or a troll. Possibly both.

I have the actual diagnosis for aspd however that's based on behavior and not personality. My actions fall directly into that category personality not at all. I have plenty of skeletons in my closet. I might just be overthinking it. Yet if she caught on that quick that's not good. Plus psychopathy is not like Hollywood. We're just very goal oriented and don't have an off button. We don't have the ability to "just enjoy it". It's one goal to the next. Mechanical in essence.

 

[Zimbabwe]

As someone actually diagnosed as being NPD (similar to aspd), women LOVE it.

Narcissists can be very charismatic and persuasive. When they’re interested in you (for their own gratification), they make you feel very special and wanted. However, once they lose interest in you (most likely after they’ve gotten what they want, or became bored), they may drop you without a second thought. A narcissist can be very engaging and sociable, as long as you’re fulfilling what she desires, and giving her all of your attention.

 

[Firecrotch66]

As someone actually diagnosed as being NPD (similar to aspd), women LOVE it.

Narcissists can be very charismatic and persuasive. When they’re interested in you (for their own gratification), they make you feel very special and wanted. However, once they lose interest in you (most likely after they’ve gotten what they want, or became bored), they may drop you without a second thought. A narcissist can be very engaging and sociable, as long as you’re fulfilling what she desires, and giving her all of your attention.

Oh I know. Both of my parents they will never get diagnosed yet they 100% have NPD. My Dad built the biggest f***in mansion in the neighborhood just as a flex and since his company does quite well for itself he loves the attention he gets from it. He was super abusive growing up behind closed doors and a total angel on the public eye. People saw him as a angel while I saw the Devil(he's better now. Miles of improvement). My Mom she's obsessed with physical looks and psychologically messed up my siblings and with this whole mantra physical looks is all that matters. Mom hardcore brainwashed me into this belief that my job in the family is to function as a physical and emotional shield for my Mom. Narcissim man I fu***** grew up with those a**Holes. No offense man, fu** all of you. Made my childhood He**. My Dad's two fav statements "my way or the highway" and "I love you"(after doing a whole bunch of horrific stuff to my siblings and I).

My Mom's I'll give you love and affection conditionally if you move this stupid tree from one spot in the yard to a foot further. I don't know what was with that. She'd change the backyard landscape every couple days. It was crazy. Then she'd annouce this whole thing about "she's a great person and say Dad is a narcissist. He's the bad guy." I hate Narcs. Sorry to burn you with that if I met you in person I would hate your guts. You guys are so so annoying. You're basically a toddler in the body of an Adult.

Regardless of my rant. I see what you're saying.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Oh I know. Both of my parents they will never get diagnosed yet they 100% have NPD. My Dad built the biggest f***in mansion in the neighborhood just as a flex and since his company does quite well for itself he loves the attention he gets from it. He was super abusive growing up behind closed doors and a total angel on the public eye. People saw him as a angel while I saw the Devil(he's better now. Miles of improvement). My Mom she's obsessed with physical looks and psychologically messed up my siblings and with this whole mantra physical looks is all that matters. Mom hardcore brainwashed me into this belief that my job in the family is to function as a physical and emotional shield for my Mom. Narcissim man I fu***** grew up with those a**Holes. No offense man, fu** all of you. Made my childhood He**. My Dad's two fav statements "my way or the highway" and "I love you"(after doing a whole bunch of horrific stuff to my siblings and I).

My Mom's I'll give you love and affection conditionally if you move this stupid tree from one spot in the yard to a foot further. I don't know what was with that. She'd change the backyard landscape every couple days. It was crazy. Then she'd annouce this whole thing about "she's a great person and say Dad is a narcissist. He's the bad guy." I hate Narcs. Sorry to burn you with that if I met you in person I would hate your guts. You guys are so so annoying. You're basically a toddler in the body of an Adult.

Regardless of my rant. I see what you're saying.

I can shed some light from my own experience, most people with a personality disorder don't get diagnosed because they don't see anything wrong with how they act. For me i literally thought everyone thought the same way i did.

You're 100% justified in hating people with NPD, let me tell you this. I was so used to and addicted to praise that whenever someone didn't like me i went out of my way to destroy their lives. I spent months to get people fired because they were rude to me in an interview or over the phone. I was the kind of guy who would hold a grudge for years, one guy from highschool was an Ass hole to me so i collected enough dirt on him over the years and got him kicked out of university, he was studying medicine so it's a big deal.

You're parents sound as bad as I used to be, I can't imagine growing up with two of them that would destroy any sane person growing up.

What you need is re parenting from a trained psychologist, my one was able to heal a lot of trauma i had but i still have a ways to go.

 

[B80]

I can shed some light from my own experience, most people with a personality disorder don't get diagnosed because they don't see anything wrong with how they act. For me i literally thought everyone thought the same way i did.

You're 100% justified in hating people with NPD, let me tell you this. I was so used to and addicted to praise that whenever someone didn't like me i went out of my way to destroy their lives. I spent months to get people fired because they were rude to me in an interview or over the phone. I was the kind of guy who would hold a grudge for years, one guy from highschool was an Ass hole to me so i collected enough dirt on him over the years and got him kicked out of university, he was studying medicine so it's a big deal.

You're parents sound as bad as I used to be, I can't imagine growing up with two of them that would destroy any sane person growing up.

What you need is re parenting from a trained psychologist, my one was able to heal a lot of trauma i had but i still have a ways to go.

You don;t come across as a narcissist on the forum, but I guess as you're aware of it can moderate it to a degree. Or hide it

Never understood people who hold grudges like that and f**k peoples lives up, even if they've been arses to you in the past.

Only person I may cause issues for is a friend of an acquaintance that I strongly suspect may have slept with my now ex wife shortly before we split up, but even so, as he has dirt on me and doing so will likely only cause much bigger problems which could effect my daughter, I'm 50/50 on just letting it go. I see it that marriage probably would have ended anyway, so not like he directly caused it, plus I'm not 100% he did and finding it for certain is unlikely as he's not likely to just admit it, neither is the ex.

 

[Zimbabwe]

You don;t come across as a narcissist on the forum, but I guess as you're aware of it can moderate it to a degree. Or hide it

Never understood people who hold grudges like that and f**k peoples lives up, even if they've been arses to you in the past.

Only person I may cause issues for is a friend of an acquaintance that I strongly suspect may have slept with my now ex wife shortly before we split up, but even so, as he has dirt on me and doing so will likely only cause much bigger problems which could effect my daughter, I'm 50/50 on just letting it go. I see it that marriage probably would have ended anyway, so not like he directly caused it, plus I'm not 100% he did and finding it for certain is unlikely as he's not likely to just admit it, neither is the ex.

It's very easy to hide/manage it, that's why you need to be careful when you encounter one. It's hard to recognise early on. I've been able to manage it well and suppress a lot of it, I used to be worse before I visited my psychologist.

With the whole grudges thing, I've always been smart about it. I don't strike until it's been a few months or even a year later that way they don't suspect it was me.

 

[B80]

It's very easy to hide/manage it, that's why you need to be careful when you encounter one. It's hard to recognise early on. I've been able to manage it well and suppress a lot of it, I used to be worse before I visited my psychologist.

With the whole grudges thing, I've always been smart about it. I don't strike until it's been a few months or even a year later that way they don't suspect it was me.

Yep, always best to do stuff 'cold' and calculated to avoid stitching yourself up.

 

[Fruitbat]

ASPD isn’t narcissism or psychopathy. ASPD is ASPD.

as for narcissism you can be grandiose or vulnerable, and psychopathy you can be type 1 or 2. I sincerely doubt if you’re type 2 you will be here. You’d be out robbing/raping/abusing kids or animals etc.

Ive come across many narcissists in my career. The defining factor tends to be viewing other people as the means to advancement as opposed to personal achievement.
The NPD I’ve worked with actually had very little in the locker other than just aiming to get the right people onside and the threats fired. creativity tended to be quite low. Other than creativity to harm others.

The reason I’m well versed on this is I was targeted once and I had to learn the game. I learned some excellent skills to cope. As an example, how to pick one out early: mainly, overt shows of altruism, charming superficially. Often a vulnerable or altruistic persona.

in terms of strategy, giving away no personal details to be twisted, stay as clear as possible and record every interaction. Also, telling them personally you can see the game (without being antagonistic, just a little look to say “I see you”) works wonders. They will move on to an easier victim.

well done guys above if you are self aware to recognise it and seek help. One of the disadvantages is those in cluster B don’t experience many of the joys of neurotypical life - like genuine love, compassion, empathy etc and while in some ways you benefit, in others you don’t, and seeking a balance is a good thing.

I actually had to learn some of the tricks of the NPD to move myself on in life. My motto is that any dark arts I employ are to the ultimate benefit of the world and others. As an example, if I take down a maleVolent NPD with his own game, then the dark arts have been correctly employed.

I did this to a colleague who was running a smear campaign on me and got enough evidence to expose the whole thing publicly. Didn’t get the guy fired but it stopped the nonsense and believe it or not, we now get on OK. I didn’t humiliate him, but I just put to my boss the evidence and spoke about it diplomatically. That was the end of that.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

My mother is a covert malignant NPD and also schizoaffective although never diagnosed because she didn’t trust therapists or physicians and medications and of course nothing is wrong with her. She was also sexually abused as a young woman by her father. As a consequence she kept my sisters and I AWAY from her father. We never knew him (a good thing). Her compensation was extreme compartmentalization and she took a cerebral/vulnerable path as an NPD. She was forever the victim in life but also covertly a master manipulator who got amusement from turning family members into one another and stirring up conflict. My father was wise to divorce her, although he always felt guilty about it; inappropriately so.

Having grown up in that environment creates an awareness of this type of behavior that is innate. It also is familiar and hence somewhat comfortable. I learned to recognize and return fire if you will in dealing with the NPD parent. Like @Fruitbat I can easily employ the skillset if necessary and I recognize it very rapidly in others. I too will call out narcissists quietly and subtly in ways they pick up…and it does tend to encourage them to target someone else.

I have a tendency toward dark triad men in that they fascinate me. I also understand them to such a degree that they feel known in a way very few understand…because they always have scars and wounds and damage that I recognize through their behavioral patterns. I am empathic. There is nothing more intoxicating to a dark triad person than to feel loved in an empathetic way. The catch is I still *see* their pathos, and my own. So I am able to manage or handle the NPD in a way few can. That and I am unafraid to call narcissism what it is to their face. So they know I see them as they really are. That allows them to be who they really are. It allows them to be vulnerable and accepted without shame. And so they fall for me because they fall in love with the acceptance they feel in spite of their brokenness.

And in my own pathos I’m not sure I would relate to a thoroughly healthy person (if such a thing really exists).

The main thing is self awareness/self acceptance; self love. Develop that and you’ll go a long way toward your own growth and you’ll gain immense patience for the imperfections of others.

 

[Kotaix]

There's a girl I ran into in the hallway of my building and I commented on her doormat that said Go away. She said it's just a joke and it keeps all the psychopaths away. Now I technically am a psychopath. Clinically speaking psychopathy is no longer a diagnosis you get tossed into a category called Cluster B. Anyways did she call me out? We talked for a good two hours straight after that comment. Found out Alot about her. I'm curious if I have a different speech pattern and that's what she caught onto. I deflected the possibility of me being one and directed her attention to people in my building who could be.

I'm pretty sure that the woman you're talking is into "psychopath porn", aka watches dexter and hannibal. It'd be worth asking if she watches those if you're interested in her.

And do not tell her about your diagnosis.

 

[Fruitbat]

Advice from the old lady:

My mother is a covert malignant NPD and also schizoaffective although never diagnosed because she didn’t trust therapists or physicians and medications and of course nothing is wrong with her. She was also sexually abused as a young woman by her father. As a consequence she kept my sisters and I AWAY from her father. We never knew him (a good thing). Her compensation was extreme compartmentalization and she took a cerebral/vulnerable path as an NPD. She was forever the victim in life but also covertly a master manipulator who got amusement from turning family members into one another and stirring up conflict. My father was wise to divorce her, although he always felt guilty about it; inappropriately so.

Having grown up in that environment creates an awareness of this type of behavior that is innate. It also is familiar and hence somewhat comfortable. I learned to recognize and return fire if you will in dealing with the NPD parent. Like @Fruitbat I can easily employ the skillset if necessary and I recognize it very rapidly in others. I too will call out narcissists quietly and subtly in ways they pick up…and it does tend to encourage them to target someone else.

I have a tendency toward dark triad men in that they fascinate me. I also understand them to such a degree that they feel known in a way very few understand…because they always have scars and wounds and damage that I recognize through their behavioral patterns. I am empathic. There is nothing more intoxicating to a dark triad person than to feel loved in an empathetic way. The catch is I still *see* their pathos, and my own. So I am able to manage or handle the NPD in a way few can. That and I am unafraid to call narcissism what it is to their face. So they know I see them as they really are. That allows them to be who they really are. It allows them to be vulnerable and accepted without shame. And so they fall for me because they fall in love with the acceptance they feel in spite of their brokenness.

And in my own pathos I’m not sure I would relate to a thoroughly healthy person (if such a thing really exists).

The main thing is self awareness/self acceptance; self love. Develop that and you’ll go a long way toward your own growth and you’ll gain immense patience for the imperfections of others.

Be excellent, while you’ve always been courteous to me and generally not deserving of harsh criticism, I have to say your comments about your ability to break through the dark triad are extremely confused and self deceptive. The comment about a dark triad being loved in an empathetic way is either naieve or you aren’t really meeting genuine dark triad guys.

Dark triad are empty, hollow and are incapable of appreciating your empathetic love. They see it as a weakness to be exploited and nothing more. If anything, your take on this is the hallmark of a co dependent and a very unhealthy state of mind.

Dark triad are the architects behind rape, child abuse, trafficking, murder, theft, robbery and genocide, and whilst you might think you can find the good and mend the broken soul, you’re sincerely mistaken.

Your fascination is an evolutionary response which is attracted to power and strength that a lack of empathy provides, and you’ve constructed a narrative around that.

 

[BeExcellent]

Be excellent, while you’ve always been courteous to me and generally not deserving of harsh criticism, I have to say your comments about your ability to break through the dark triad are extremely confused and self deceptive. The comment about a dark triad being loved in an empathetic way is either naieve or you aren’t really meeting genuine dark triad guys.

Dark triad are empty, hollow and are incapable of appreciating your empathetic love. They see it as a weakness to be exploited and nothing more. If anything, your take on this is the hallmark of a co dependent and a very unhealthy state of mind.

Dark triad are the architects behind rape, child abuse, trafficking, murder, theft, robbery and genocide, and whilst you might think you can find the good and mend the broken soul, you’re sincerely mistaken.

Your fascination is an evolutionary response which is attracted to power and strength that a lack of empathy provides, and you’ve constructed a narrative around that.

That’s fair. But everything exists on a continuum. I will not deal with men who are beyond repair. There are those who are wounded but still retain humanity and emotional bandwidth. Then there are those who cannot love at all any more. Those men are dangerous. Behind the charm lurks a rage that is difficult to conceal if one knows what to look for. I harbor no illusions about people (men or women) who are that far gone.

I cut my mother out of my life years ago after she demonstrated no qualms about manipulating my children. I have never looked back and I have educated my children about why they do not see my mother.

I have retained emotional bandwidth in spite of my background. I resonate with men of similar ilk. There are many who cannot be reached. They are best left to their own devices.

 

[Fruitbat]

That’s fair. But everything exists on a continuum. I will not deal with men who are beyond repair. There are those who are wounded but still retain humanity and emotional bandwidth. Then there are those who cannot love at all any more. Those men are dangerous. Behind the charm lurks a rage that is difficult to conceal if one knows what to look for. I harbor no illusions about people (men or women) who are that far gone.

I cut my mother out of my life years ago after she demonstrated no qualms about manipulating my children. I have never looked back and I have educated my children about why they do not see my mother.

I have retained emotional bandwidth in spite of my background. I resonate with men of similar ilk. There are many who cannot be reached. They are best left to their own devices.

I think you are referring to men with traits rather than clinical personality disorders.

A slice of narcissism is somewhat essential to be anything in this world, especially in the male sphere.

I would suggest we aren’t taking in the same context as pathological narcissism or psychopathy isn’t fixable and you would know full well if you had loved one because you would be likely to be missing assets or suffered some severe psychological trauma.

Lots of people have traits on the spectrum at a sub clinical level.

I have known narcissist who still have empathy but are more towards grandiosity. These I would suggest are the attractive men in female terms as they achieve a lot yet are able to function socially.

True clinical cluster B are a whole other kettle of fish and you sincerely would be the worse off for having anything to do with them.

 

[BeExcellent]

I think you are referring to men with traits rather than clinical personality disorders.

A slice of narcissism is somewhat essential to be anything in this world, especially in the male sphere.

I would suggest we aren’t taking in the same context as pathological narcissism or psychopathy isn’t fixable and you would know full well if you had loved one because you would be likely to be missing assets or suffered some severe psychological trauma.

Lots of people have traits on the spectrum at a sub clinical level.

I have known narcissist who still have empathy but are more towards grandiosity. These I would suggest are the attractive men in female terms as they achieve a lot yet are able to function socially.

True clinical cluster B are a whole other kettle of fish and you sincerely would be the worse off for having anything to do with them.

Agreed. My mum is full on Cluster B. My exBF was diagnosed as BPD but with other NPD tendencies. Terribly psychologically unstable that one.

 

[Firecrotch66]

I can shed some light from my own experience, most people with a personality disorder don't get diagnosed because they don't see anything wrong with how they act. For me i literally thought everyone thought the same way i did.

You're 100% justified in hating people with NPD, let me tell you this. I was so used to and addicted to praise that whenever someone didn't like me i went out of my way to destroy their lives. I spent months to get people fired because they were rude to me in an interview or over the phone. I was the kind of guy who would hold a grudge for years, one guy from highschool was an Ass hole to me so i collected enough dirt on him over the years and got him kicked out of university, he was studying medicine so it's a big deal.

You're parents sound as bad as I used to be, I can't imagine growing up with two of them that would destroy any sane person growing up.

What you need is re parenting from a trained psychologist, my one was able to heal a lot of trauma i had but i still have a ways to go.

HAHAHAHA I'm far from sane so you got that right. That's actually the hardest part I have going on right now with my life. Prior to covid it was manageable hiding the level of insanity I'm at. However, now that everyone is super self aware and aware of others it's very difficult to hide how far down the rabbit hole I've gone. Even my therapist has noticed and he's pretty much given up. I was in a psych ward back in 2017 so maybe it's more noticeable than I know.....And the roommates I had what scared them is I would talk to myself and be answering my own conversations. I had no idea I was doing that till they told me I'm doing it around them. I don't do it as much anymore which is good. I catch myself and stop it.

Reparenting? What is that? Never heard of it. I'm currently doing DBT. High probability I also have split personality with co-current consciousness. There is a good version of me and then there's just this super evil version of me. Good wolf vs bad wolf here. My bad wolf is so so so much stronger and deadlier.

Dude....Did you at least help the guy get back into Med school. You can get redemption if you explain to the university you've got a mental illness and he was on the recieving end of it and then provide documentation of your illness.

True true you guys really don't my Mom still thinks she's angel. My Dad knows he's an a**. He gave in when I couldn't see anything good in him. He finally started getting help when he wanted me to see him as you know a Dad. Plus his new wife is the Devil so there's that too. She will wreck him if he lets the npd come out lol.

Dammn you were that guy. You gota realize you have incoming karma that's gona make you wish you were dead. RIP.

 

[Firecrotch66]

That’s fair. But everything exists on a continuum. I will not deal with men who are beyond repair. There are those who are wounded but still retain humanity and emotional bandwidth. Then there are those who cannot love at all any more. Those men are dangerous. Behind the charm lurks a rage that is difficult to conceal if one knows what to look for. I harbor no illusions about people (men or women) who are that far gone.

I cut my mother out of my life years ago after she demonstrated no qualms about manipulating my children. I have never looked back and I have educated my children about why they do not see my mother.

I have retained emotional bandwidth in spite of my background. I resonate with men of similar ilk. There are many who cannot be reached. They are best left to their own devices.

Haaaaa I'm part of the chopping block of humanity has long left. Hey hey? I'm still capable of love. Lot of guys are still capable of love even with narcissism. Even with rage you can love somebody. That's rough with your mama

 

[Firecrotch66]

I think you are referring to men with traits rather than clinical personality disorders.

A slice of narcissism is somewhat essential to be anything in this world, especially in the male sphere.

I would suggest we aren’t taking in the same context as pathological narcissism or psychopathy isn’t fixable and you would know full well if you had loved one because you would be likely to be missing assets or suffered some severe psychological trauma.

Lots of people have traits on the spectrum at a sub clinical level.

I have known narcissist who still have empathy but are more towards grandiosity. These I would suggest are the attractive men in female terms as they achieve a lot yet are able to function socially.

True clinical cluster B are a whole other kettle of fish and you sincerely would be the worse off for having anything to do with them.

Hi we're not that...bad. Most of us are pretty harmless. Unless I'm very bored then I will out of my way to **** with your life for my own amusement and have the capacity to be completely rational and irrational at the same time. I'm able to be fully aware of the right choice and will do the wrong choice just to make a point. Lot of us just don't really care?

 

[Firecrotch66]

I'm pretty sure that the woman you're talking is into "psychopath porn", aka watches dexter and hannibal. It'd be worth asking if she watches those if you're interested in her.

And do not tell her about your diagnosis.

LMAOOOO that made my night. She has a bf so not really interested in her yet I'll take a note of that. I am however, interested in her bestfriend who is my direct neighbor in my building and all her friends. If she's like that I can bet money on it one of her friends are too.

Oh dude I don't even have to tell her. Most women I date/f**k they immediately go to saying that I'm either: A. a serial killer B. Psychopath or C. drug dealer.
C was true in highschool yet cannabis is legal now and they removed all the charges for people who got caught which is basically most of my childhood friends lol.
B is true now obviously.
A. Would only be true if I joined the Marines and got shipped to Columbia or something. I am very good with combat type sports and I'm not even trying. Would've gone to sniper school. My long distance aim is exceptional. I have the patience level when I'm hunting and post Marines would've applied for a position as a contractor. It's technically not a serial killer yet honestly there really is not that big difference between a contractor and a serial killer. The only difference is money vs boredom. One does it for money the other for boredom.

Answering that nah don't even have to tell her. No point.