Do not make yourself the victim

[Baibars]

I noticed that a lot of guys including myself tend to make themselves the victim blaming the woman when they’re really not.
She’s your ex? In many cases it’s YOU that made her behave a certain way but all we whine about is the person that we created.
Whenever we argue with our ex or any woman that changed her behavior towards us in a negative way, we argue and try to make ourselves the victim.
We even believe we are the victims. Thinking you’re the victim makes you depressed and weak mentally.
Owning your mistakes and being responsible,
is making her the victim of your actions and gives you the power. You don’t cry because she did this or that to you. If you do that other people including women will take you more seriously, but most importantly you won’t feel like a helpless victim of a bad woman.

This is my lesson for the day and I hope it helps you.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I completely agree, the majority of guys problems are their fault, not the evil women or evil Tinder. I had to consul my friend last weekend because he was tired of trying to date this girl for the past 2 years and was mad, she wasn't putting out at the moment. Literally all this guy has to do is say fvck this girl and move on, but instead he chooses to continually play the hope strategy for 2 plus years.

 

[Money & Muscle]

Narcissism is misunderstood.
Yes, the world revolves around you. But you are either the Hero, or the Victim through this lense. Guys being Narcissistic (AMALT) has a lot to do with this.

Ultimately, if we look for fault in anyone but ourselves - we're headed for disappointment and poor outcomes.

Every single man in a sexless marriage blames his wife for not putting out. Yeah, she has some agency here considering SHE is the gatekeeper to sex, but most of the men in this position wouldn't be considered attractive by most - if any women... so for him to think that his wife owes him sex, or should just want to is horribly mislead. If anything were to come of this mentality, it would be starfish sex and negotiated desire.

Us men built the world, and us men will ruin it if we continue not to lead it like we were meant to.

Good post OP.

 

[SW15]

I disagree. There are plenty of men out there who are struggling due to larger factors and not because of their own behaviors.

There are plenty of average range 65-75 year old Boomer men out there that have had reasonably fruitful relationship lives ONLY due to the fact that they were born in the Boomer generation. If these men had been born Millennials, they would have been incel or borderline incel. The market as a whole has gotten tougher for average range men.

 

[Money & Muscle]

The market as a whole has gotten tougher for average range men.

This is true, but when you've got dudes that self-identify as a victim and don't take the steps needed to be better than an average man - the responsibility and fault still lays on that man's shoulders.

historically, 40% of men have impregnated 80% of the women. I think we all know that 40% was not the "average" man - they were the best 40% that were available. Men still have to strive to do this. The issue with the global sexual marketplace is that the 40% has shrunk to 20% or less.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I disagree. There are plenty of men out there who are struggling due to larger factors and not because of their own behaviors.

Can you name some examples that apply to modern men lol.

There are plenty of average range 65-75 year old Boomer men out there that have had reasonably fruitful relationship lives ONLY due to the fact that they were born in the Boomer generation. If these men had been born Millennials, they would have been incel or borderline incel. The market as a whole has gotten tougher for average range men.

This I disagree because you only hear about the accounts of the successful boomers that lived to tell the tale. My grandad was a rolling stone and he literally ran through the majority of his town and cucked a lot of men. This dude literally had 20 confirmed kids and my ancestry.com profile is always popping off with new matches lol. You also have the boomers that know they got burned, but why would they tell the world that their son is actually the mailman's kid or Brad from Woodstock? Baby Boomers also shared the Groupie sub-culture too. Yes, a baby boomer with zero game and awareness of female toxicty might have had a wife, but he got burned in the process too like every other men. I think the rise of incels in today's world is more due to lack of strong family structures and technology access not because of women.

 

[Money & Muscle]

Can you name some examples that apply to modern men

Do you really think that society at large is not currently set up to disenfranchise men?

 

[CornbreadFed]

Do you really think that society at large is not currently set up to disenfranchise men?

Dating, no, but workplace & education yes.

 

[Money & Muscle]

Dating, no, but workplace & education yes.

So you think that dating is just as easy now as it was 50 years ago?

You think that things like Tinder and Instagram, which globalized the sexual marketplace, didn't make it harder for men to date?

 

[CornbreadFed]

So you think that dating is just as easy now as it was 50 years ago?

You think that things like Tinder and Instagram, which globalized the sexual marketplace, didn't make it harder for men to date?

Nope, I think it made it easier.

 

[MtmVaott]

Owning your mistakes and being responsible

A common pattern is that you don't see your mistake, even when you retrospect, and wonder why the woman reacted so bad. The next step is usually to blame her, because you didn't do a mistake as far your knowledge goes.

 

[SW15]

You think that things like Tinder and Instagram, which globalized the sexual marketplace, didn't make it harder for men to date?

Nope, I think it made it easier.

Easier for the top tier, more difficult for the middle tier.

This is true, but when you've got dudes that self-identify as a victim and don't take the steps needed to be better than an average man - the responsibility and fault still lays on that man's shoulders.

historically, 40% of men have impregnated 80% of the women. I think we all know that 40% was not the "average" man - they were the best 40% that were available. Men still have to strive to do this. The issue with the global sexual marketplace is that the 40% has shrunk to 20% or less.

Yes, there's a lot of evidence out there that the men in the widest part of the bell curve are getting fewer results than in past eras.

 

[Money & Muscle]

Easier for the top tier, more difficult for the middle tier.

It directly leads to h0eflation.

The only people in a position to change it are the ones who benefit from the current system.

 

[Barrister]

I agree with the overall principle that a man should always accept responsibility for his own actions and failures. Pretty much a no brainer for any man with shred of integrity.

However, this gets way more complicated in the vein of relationships between a man and a woman. Many times, women (especially Cluster B) resort to emotional blackmail to get what they want. One of the favorites in that arsenal is withholding affection/sex in order to get what they want or make the man act in a certain way that conforms with what they want. And this can many times be of no fault of the man when this occurs. I think it is a slippery slope to encourage men in this circumstance that he isn't getting sex because of something HE did. Maybe it is and maybe it isn't.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I agree with the overall principle that a man should always accept responsibility for his own actions and failures. Pretty much a no brainer for any man with shred of integrity.

However, this gets way more complicated in the vein of relationships between a man and a woman. Many times, women (especially Cluster B) resort to emotional blackmail to get what they want. One of the favorites in that arsenal is withholding affection/sex in order to get what they want or make the man act in a certain way that conforms with what they want. And this can many times be of no fault of the man when this occurs. I think it is a slippery slope to encourage men in this circumstance that he isn't getting sex because of something HE did. Maybe it is and maybe it isn't.

It's almost as if there's an element of "quit yer whining so I can live in fantasyland" element to a lot of these "quit yer whining" posts.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Easier for the top tier, more difficult for the middle tier.

I don't consider myself top tier at all lol

It directly leads to h0eflation.

The only people in a position to change it are the ones who benefit from the current system.

What is your ideal dating world?

 

[Money & Muscle]

What is your ideal dating world?

MY ideal dating world, or what I think would be best for the human species?

The two are not the same.

 

[CornbreadFed]

MY ideal dating world, or what I think would be best for the human species?

The two are not the same.

Yours lol

 

[Money & Muscle]

Yours lol

Oh, okay then.

1 man (me)
Tinder with no location restriction
All remaining women on the planet.

 

[Solomon]

What irritates me about Gen-Z is they know all the redpill&blackpill theory yet they never want to take action to improve or practice it
You have a huge sense of entitlement from these men that they think they deserve a woman just for being nice guys
Life doesn't work this way
I have seen a lot of blackpill youtube some of those guys are just normal-looking guys with effed-up mindsets, People don't realize how powerful your mind truly is and if you think negatively then you will concisouly and subconsciously look for negative outcomes

It just seems a lot of young me have given up and don't even want to improve. I mean heck a lot of guys don't even have the basics in 2023 (job, car and their own place or place with a roommate) and this is obvious by how many men still live at home with their parents that are in their late 20s and even 30s, men who are out of shape, and just wanna bytch all day on reddit or in the youtube comment section about "304s"

I know a guy 35 years old, hasn't worked a job in years and lives with and mooches of his parents, smokes weed and plays video games everyday and then wonders why he can't get a girlfriend. It just seems a lot of men have given up and it's sad