"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Do I text her back? Short Read - Please Advise!

Odisseo

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Hey guys,

Met this cute Asian girl on Friday night, flirted a little bit and danced with me until her friend (who was being hit on by the ugliest person alive) comes over and takes her away and they take off. Her friend gave me a good approval look before leaving though. I think the Asian definitely liked me.

Good thing I was able to get her number before she left so here is the text convo:

Same night at 2 AM --
Me:"Can you keep a secret?"
Her (at 5 AM): "?"
Me (at 10 AM Saturday): "Your eyes are unforgettable - I want to see them again tomorrow night" (yeah very lame I know but I was still drunk in my defense)

Sunday (Today) at 11 AM:
Her: "What is your name?"
Me (at 3 PM): "haha Paolo! You gave me your number without knowing my name, shame on you!"
Her: "I am just making sure, haha"
Her: "Send me a picture of you"
Me: "Yeah right! Ok naughty girl but how sexy should it be from 1-112? I have a borat costume I wore on Halloween" (not that great either maybe but I'm just trying not to make her feel like she's being taken seriously)
Her: "Anything"
Her: "I just want to be able to see you clearly"
Me (at 5 PM): "K I guess but I don't normally send selfies around so feel special"
Me: Send picture
Her: "Thanks"
Her (5 minutes later): "You're cute. You don't look like you're over 26..." (She told me Friday night she is 30 and I told her I was 28 which I am
Her (5 minutes even later): "Anyway, I am already dating someone that I really like. So maybe I'll let you know if it doesn't work out, lol."

----

Call me naive but I think she was definitely attracted on Friday night and still is. I also believe she is kind of shy too, although she is an Americanized Asian girl (not like straight out of Japan which was a really weird experience but that's another story...)

Anyways, I didn't message her back and was just going to go no contact, keep her in my phone but never start a conversation again. But I do believe she'd be DTF with me if I can get her to come out. I feel like she is tempted but doesn't want to go out with a younger guy? But then again, if she really likes you she'll get over things like that as it has happened with other older girls in my past.

Do I text her back anything? Really appreciate your opinions!
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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marmel75

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OK here is the long and short of it.

You basically F'd this up. You texted her the same night, then texted her some beta BS. Say your drunk, say whatever you want. She thinks its lame. That's all that matters.

Then you let her tell you what to do and did it along with some stuff that sounds way too try hard.

The long and short of it is you acted like you just found Willy Wonka's Golden Ticket by getting her number. Not a good look bro.

Her thoughts? "Damn...cute guy but way too needy and beta for me. Oh well...I'll just let him down easy. Why can't I find a bad boy to Fvck me senseless?"

What can you do better next time? Just relax bro. She isn't that big of a deal.
 

RangerMIke

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No you already did too much texting. She has a BF go find another girl. She said she would call you if that didn't work out... so just walk away. If she calls you back you have a shot... otherwise forget about her.
 

Odisseo

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OK here is the long and short of it.

You basically F'd this up. You texted her the same night, then texted her some beta BS. Say your drunk, say whatever you want. She thinks its lame. That's all that matters.

Then you let her tell you what to do and did it along with some stuff that sounds way too try hard.

The long and short of it is you acted like you just found Willy Wonka's Golden Ticket by getting her number. Not a good look bro.

Her thoughts? "Damn...cute guy but way too needy and beta for me. Oh well...I'll just let him down easy. Why can't I find a bad boy to Fvck me senseless?"

What can you do better next time? Just relax bro. She isn't that big of a deal.
Well yeah my texting was lame but she would keep texting me right after my replies and I waited a long time, I think that helped me not be so needy?

And yeah my text on Saturday morning was bad if taken seriously but I purposely sent it to instigate a reply and start a convo; like, I really didn't mean what I said in the text and I thought it was obvious that I was just joking around... I was messing with her the entire time on Friday night. I wasn't serious at all about "your eyes are unforgettable"

My only question now is can I text her "ok call me when you are ready to f***?"
I really don't care about her, but if it's worth a try...
 

marmel75

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Well yeah my texting was lame but she would keep texting me right after my replies and I waited a long time, I think that helped me not be so needy?

And yeah my text on Saturday morning was bad if taken seriously but I purposely sent it to instigate a reply and start a convo; like, I really didn't mean what I said in the text and I thought it was obvious that I was just joking around... I was messing with her the entire time on Friday night. I wasn't serious at all about "your eyes are unforgettable"

My only question now is can I text her "ok call me when you are ready to f***?"
I really don't care about her, but if it's worth a try...
Here is the thing with texting---there is no context, so you leave what you write open to her interpretation, regardless of how you "think" you are coming across or how you "think" she will take it.

I've also found that people are FAR less forgiving if you say something they don't like via text than they are if you actually said it to them. Thinking it has to do with lack of context again.

You can text that but I wouldn't.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Maximus Rex

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Hey guys,

Met this cute Asian girl on Friday night, flirted a little bit and danced with me until her friend (who was being hit on by the ugliest person alive) comes over and takes her away and they take off. Her friend gave me a good approval look before leaving though. I think the Asian definitely liked me.
So why didn't you take her someplace nearby for food or drinks?

Same night at 2 AM --
Me:"Can you keep a secret?"
Her (at 5 AM): "?"
Me (at 10 AM Saturday): "Your eyes are unforgettable - I want to see them again tomorrow night" (yeah very lame I know but I was still drunk in my defense)
Sunday (Today) at 11 AM:
Her: "What is your name?"
Me (at 3 PM): "haha Paolo! You gave me your number without knowing my name, shame on you!"
Her: "I am just making sure, haha"
Her: "Send me a picture of you"
Me: "Yeah right! Ok naughty girl but how sexy should it be from 1-112? I have a borat costume I wore on Halloween" (not that great either maybe but I'm just trying not to make her feel like she's being taken seriously)
Her: "Anything"
Her: "I just want to be able to see you clearly"
Me (at 5 PM): "K I guess but I don't normally send selfies around so feel special"
Me: Send picture
Her: "Thanks"
Her (5 minutes later): "You're cute. You don't look like you're over 26..." (She told me Friday night she is 30 and I told her I was 28 which I am
Her (5 minutes even later): "Anyway, I am already dating someone that I really like. So maybe I'll let you know if it doesn't work out, lol."
This is another example of why you should be talking to women on the phone but anyway, what did you hope to achieve by doing this bulls*t?

Call me naive but I think she was definitely attracted on Friday night and still is.
So why didn't move on her on Friday?

Do I text her back anything? Really appreciate your opinions!
You don't text her sh*t. You call her and have an actual conversation that leads to you setting up a date.
 

Odisseo

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Here is the thing with texting---there is no context, so you leave what you write open to her interpretation, regardless of how you "think" you are coming across or how you "think" she will take it.

I've also found that people are FAR less forgiving if you say something they don't like via text than they are if you actually said it to them. Thinking it has to do with lack of context again.

You can text that but I wouldn't.
You make a damn good point, I hadn't thought of it that way with the texting
 

Odisseo

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So why didn't you take her someplace nearby for food or drinks?
Great point! Her friend just kind of swooped in... and they were gone quickly. I have to say though I hadn't even considered that as a move

This is another example of why you should be talking to women on the phone but anyway, what did you hope to achieve by doing this bulls*t?
Haha I am learning a lot tonight! So I should have just not texted her at all on Saturday and maybe called her like tonight?

Yeah, I was hoping to achieve her coming out for a beer and watching the chargers tomorrow night in downtown (San Diego) and take her to my place afterwards (which is 2 blocks away from the bar I wanted to go to)
 

Odisseo

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No you already did too much texting. She has a BF go find another girl. She said she would call you if that didn't work out... so just walk away. If she calls you back you have a shot... otherwise forget about her.
But I really feel like this is one of those "try harder, I'm easily DTF if you can get me to open my legs"

Like, I did well on Friday and she's obviously attracted...
 

marmel75

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But I really feel like this is one of those "try harder, I'm easily DTF if you can get me to open my legs"

Like, I did well on Friday and she's obviously attracted...
Until you started texting...
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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RangerMIke

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But I really feel like this is one of those "try harder, I'm easily DTF if you can get me to open my legs"

Like, I did well on Friday and she's obviously attracted...
You think that by doing something you can drive up her interest.... the exact opposite happens, she thinks she has you on the hook and she doesn't need to do anything to keep you coming back. If she isn't putting any effort towards you she will not value you, if she does not value you, she can not respect you, if she doesn't respect you she can not love and want you. Remember RangerMike's three rules when meeting a new woman.

(1) No matter how good you think you are, you can not get ANY woman you want. Nothing happens unless the woman has at least a minimum level of attraction to you.
(2) If she is not willing to put some effort towards you walk away and don't look back.
(3) Ignoring 1 and 2 costs money, time, and pain.
 

Odisseo

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Thank you all for the valuable insights! This is why I love this site, I learn so much every time!

By the way last night I ended up texting her "Ok let me know when. You are finally down to ****"

I really wish I hadn't written that today. Again I don't care, but you never know who you run into in the future and this is not good.
 

pyros

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OP you did it pretty bad in your first texts, but you definetely sent it to hell with you last text which screamed: "I am desperate to have sex and you looked like a wh-ore" which is probably true.

Anyway, the key point here is...besides your lame texts...THAT YOU SENT HER A PIC OF YOURSELF AND SHE JUST FOUND YOU SO-SO. Had she found you hotter...she would have probably agreed to see you.
She showed some interest untill you sent that pic. lmao.
 
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